<p>My two youngest daughters were dancers, too - and one of the things I liked best about their private dance studio was that there was no fundraising participation expected from parents. None. We paid a considerable amount for tuition, costumes, tickets, photos, and videos (though these were competitive with the costs at other studios in the area that did require parental fundraising). But we did not have to sell program ads or a minimum number of tickets for each performance, let alone wrapping paper, poinsettias, candy bars, pizzas, or Thanksgiving pies. Yes, there’s a difference between a private enterprise and a school or community related activity - but as others have pointed out, even some private businesses depend upon child-generated fundraising. Thankfully, our studio’s director had more integrity and business sense.</p>
<p>I was a Girl Scout leader for 10 years and always thought the line handed out by the national organization about all the girls could learn and gain from the annual cookie sale was, forgive me, a self-serving crock. Many people in the organization were concerned, even disturbed, about its heavy dependence on child-generated funds. (Plus - $4.00 for 14 cookies?) There’s precious little first and second graders can learn from selling cookies when their mothers are doing all the work. </p>
<p>Another problem I have with student fundraising is that I just don’t want what they’re selling. (Well - that Boy Scout popcorn is pretty darned good, but I really shouldn’t have it in the house.) I don’t want to find room in the freezer for 6 stale-tasting personal pizzas. I don’t want to keep moving the Girl Scout cookies around in the pantry before realizing that they’re a year old and throwing them out. When I see the booths in the mall or at the grocery store, I take another entrance. If a child comes to the door or a parent asks at work, I’ll buy one thing. I would much, much rather make a direct donation than pay for a load of junk I don’t want or need.</p>
<p>When my kids had to fundraise for school activities, we evolved from the typical clueless first-timers who hit up the grandparents, aunties, and co-workers to veterans who bought the bare minimum ourselves. Nice to be done with this annoying chore!</p>
<p>I feel for you MissiePie. You don’t want to limit your kids’ options, and you don’t want to keep her from an EC she enjoys, but you need to keep your own sanity. I am right in line with those who detest fundraising. Why should I bug my neighbors to buy some junk so that my kid can go on a fabulous trip/get a jacket/etc? We don’t live near relatives either. Whenever my kids get a fundraising thing to sell, I buy the minimum myself and that’s that. But I understand the philosophy against buy-outs- if only a few kids can’t afford the activity and have to fundraise then they are singled out. But on the other hand, in this day and age, I think parents have to be allowed to opt-out of sales-based fundraising. </p>
<p>It really gets ridiculous. Do the kids really NEED to go to Disney or some other faraway destination every year? Do they NEED the matching sweatsuit and gym bag ensemble? And if they need to all match, does it have to be the top-of-the-line version?</p>
<p>It sounds like you need to have a heart-to-heart with your daughter. Explain that if she tries out and makes the team, you will talk to the boosters and tell them what you can and cannot do. You will offer to pay her share of expenses. And if they say “No dice, all this stuff has to be sold” then your daughter will have to resign her place on the team. If enough parents did this, the system would change.</p>
<p>(wow, I just re-read my last paragraph. SO MUCH easier said than done! Good luck with this one, because somehow I think you’re going to end up being held hostage to cheer fundraising for the next 4 years)</p>
<p>LOL about the “umbrella organizations.” We do have an Athletics Booster Club…no idea who gets their $ because every sport does fundraising.</p>
<p>Son was a choir kid…the choir did some fundraising but provided a buyout (we were always “Platinum Sponsors.”) But he was also in Jazz Choir and they got $0 from the choir fundraisers - they have to raise thousands of dollars for their annual show and there are always about 12 of them. Last year I got an unexpected check at work and gave the jazz choir a very large anonymous donation…poor dozen kids just didn’t have the network of “friends and family” to raise a bunch of money. (This year they aren’t even doing a show.)</p>
<p>I am sorry that your experience has been different from mine relative to the value of umbrella organizations. Ive found that theyve been great in keeping things realistic in functional areas, and they do indeed parcel out the funds they raise evenly and fairly. Your report that the situation is dissimilar in your community could be indicative of dysfunction rather than inherent lack of value.</p>
<p>If you dont know where money donated or raised goes, you can and should examine the financial statements. The whole point of umbrella organizations is to keep you from being nickel-and-dimed. I also have kids in interrelated activities, and I really appreciate the involvement of an oversight organization.</p>
<p>I suspect that the circumstances of our environments differ; thus, our mileage varies. You sound like a supportive parent who is quite generous in supporting your childrens activities. I wish you all the best and hope all works out well in regard to your current decision.</p>
Many fundraisers now even have a way for faraway relatives to participate (entertainment books can be purchased for their area, etc.). I’m with you – I hate the fundraising process and inevitable junk. I would never dream of soliciting faraway relatives. One of my sisters-in-law does so, though. I’m very sorry that her children’s Catholic school is in danger of shutting down, but I don’t feel like giving them money (and would prefer to support local causes). When I looked at how low their tuition was, I thought the families could pay more in tuition. I feel like writing her that any extra monies we have would be donated to my son’s public school or my son’s extremely generous college which is giving him a totally free ride. I’ll be good, though, and just ignore her fundraising e-mails.</p>
<p>Maybe umbrella organizations work if they are put into place when a school first opens. But how do multiple groups of parents ever give control of their budgets to a few fellow parents on the main org’s board? As I mentioned, Cheer travels out of state every year; drill team and choir every other year. Other groups never travel out of state. Would the board of the umbrella org decide to be fair that all groups travel only every four years, for example? </p>
<p>When my oldest child was in kindergarten, I attended my first and only PTA meeting. They were voting on the budget. The Dad’s Club wanted to have control over the money that the Dad’s Club raised for the PTA. Others in the PTA disagreed. Some dads almost came to blows and the president resigned the next day.</p>
<p>Perhaps we just don’t have the “sharing money” mentality!</p>
<p>Update: D is going to be a freshman cheerleader. I’ve been to two booster club meetings and they are more stressful than anything I do in the practice of law. The spending is utterly out of control and so are the moms. It’s worse than I imagined.</p>
<p>Oh no! I just read through this thread for the first time and missypie, your update is a stinger! Keep posting if it helps… we’ll enjoy reading it… sorry you have to suffer it.</p>
<p>Or more precisely, their mothers. I wonder how many of the moms were cheerleaders themselves or wanted to be.</p>
<p>I guess one of the most disturbing things is that the whole organization is parent/teacher run…the girls don’t have to do anything but cheer (in contrast to the drill team where a huge amount of the work is done by line and social officers.) One group teaches leadership and responsibility while the other teaches how to be spoiled princesses.</p>
<p>Wow. I’m sorry for you, missypie, but I’m also rather eager to hear all the gory details. I stopped attended my condo association meetings because of all the bizarre power trips taken by people with too much time on their hands. I imagine that the cheer situation must be ten times worse…</p>
<p>In situations like that I pretend not to hear most things being said to me. From what I understand, the only thing worse than a group of cheerleader/stage moms is a group of baseball dads. Good luck.</p>
<p>I’d suggest that you practice saying, “I’m so sorry, but I just can’t make it to the booster meeting.” until you can repeat it with a straight face. Then just don’t go. Let the crazed moms be in charge. Your daughter is smart enough to know who is crazy and who isn’t, and she’ll be fine with you staying home.</p>
<p>Yup, she can claim she is an orphan and that you have just been kind enough to help her over the years. She can tell the other girls that she is sure her real mom (if she can ever locate her) would be far more supportive than this kind, but misguided woman she is stuck with.</p>
<p>The boosterism is a bit restrained at our high school. At the start of the Lacrosse season the coach did stress that the players “really enjoyed the booster packs their families purchased last year.” We’ll, um, ok. I must say the the handful of parents whom are essentially the leaders of the booster group are low profile. No politics or power grabs observed thus far.</p>
<p>I have to admit that I’m a little confused by the “fairness” explanation for why financial contributions aren’t enough. The money or time will be donated by the parents, not the children. Does the booster club exist to raise money for the squad, or to provide life lessons for the parents? If it’s the former, then getting the fundraising job done is all that should matter. If it’s the latter, then the unfairness that some people have more disposable income than others is more than balanced out by the unfairness that some people have more free time than others.</p>
<p>I wonder what they would say if you hired a $10-an-hour employee to work the concession stand for you. That would make a lot more sense than sending a lawyer to do it!</p>
<p>I really don’t mind putting in time, as that’s how you get to know the other parents, etc. But this group sells, sells, sells…raffle tickets, silent auction items, flowers, spirit wear, cookie dough. There is a buyout for these things and it’s HUGE.</p>
<p>Hmmm, you’re in TX aren’t you? We on CC expert 4 years of entertaining outlandish stories (a la the old SluggBugg evil neighbor stories) about TX cheerleading.</p>
<p>My DD did cheer in CA in grade 4 and I could not stand the over the top mothers who wish they had been cheerleaders, it was insane in the hype level, and the kids were 9</p>
That would make a lot more sense than sending a lawyer to do it!</p>