Cossert- one thing I have finally learned- there are a LOT more people struggling than anyone lets on in real life! Folks like to keep up the illusion that their lives are perfect with “obedient” children who do exactly what they are supposed to do at every juncture- and then your own life hits a roadblock and the truth kinda worms its way out.
I work with someone whose kid spent senior year of HS and what should have been freshman year of college in jail. Not rehab, not a rehabilitative boarding program, not a “wilderness experience” to help him sort things out- but incarcerated. If they’d had a savvier lawyer, for sure their son would be have ended up in one of those other types of programs, plus probation or a halfway house after his release. But no- actual hard time.
it was wrenching to witness, especially since there were people who couldn’t deal with a kid who wasn’t on the “AP’s/SAT Tutoring/Varsity star” escalator.
But fast forward- kid is doing great now in a job he loves (and excels at), the family seems to have figured things out, the “troubles” are in the rear view mirror. But such a lesson that when you run into someone at the dry cleaners and start blabbing about how your kid is summa cum whatever and curing cancer and running marathons while writing a novel on the side… the person you’re talking to might be going through “real %^&*” and some empathy might be in order.
Hugging you hard. You can do this! You raised an accomplished young woman and you can for sure accompany and guide her on these last few miles of her journey to adulthood!!!