<p>While in Barnes & Noble, dd14 mentioned that many of her classmates, and some seniors are reading the book SHADES OF GRAY… does anyone else think that is inappropriate? I was shocked by this(and stunned). I then mentioned this to a friend and he told me that he read an article in one of the NYC newpapers about a 16 yo girl who was given the book by her mother. Am I the only parent that has old fashioned values & has decided that parenting is NOT a popularity contest?</p>
<p>I’m 60 years old and my parents never censored my reading. I’m sure Mom would not have given me certain books, but if I found them at the library, I was allowed to read them. I followed the same practice with my son. We’ve both turned out fine.</p>
<p>I don’t have " old fashioned" values IMO, but I doubt my 30 & 22 yr olds are interested in reading s& m porn, * now*, although I admit I read my parents copy of " story of O" when I was 14 or 15.</p>
<p>Also just cause a newspaper has an article about one persons parenting style, that doesn’t mean that all or even most people are thinking along the same lines.
The media is about extremes. That’s what sells.
Remember that TIME magazine photo of the nursing 6 yr old?</p>
<p>I have not read Shades of Gray, but I’ve heard that its literary value is minimal. That alone would keep my kid from reading it.</p>
<p>I think that book is inappropriate for anybody because it’s terrible. That said, my parents were not censoring my reading in high school. They were in middle school, and we evolved out of that partially because I was reading adult books anyway and I read a lot of books and it would have been almost impossible for my parents to approve all of them.</p>
<p>Also, I remember accidentally finding some fanfic that kind of horrified me involving Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter when I was in high school. I don’t think I knew what fanfic was before that, but 50 Shades of Gray type smut is all over the internet. And in terms of the adult content, most high school students have probably seen worse on tumblr. (Tumblr kind of scares me).</p>
<p>I was allowed to read anything I wanted growing up. The only objection I ever had was from my dad, on school assigned books about war when I was in the 7th grade. It wasn’t about the violence, but he thought I was too young to really understand them.</p>
<p>I learned the facts of life by reading a smutty novel I found at a house I was babysitting at.</p>
<p>And my best friend’s mom would loan me her cheesy romance novels.</p>
<p>My college aged son wasn’t a big reader, it was more web content we had to monitor. My 8th grade daughter reads quite a bit, but seems to be on a fantasy series kick at the moment. I wouldn’t encourage her to read anything like 50 shades of grey, but it hasn’t gotten to that yet.</p>
<p>Is this the book you guys are talking about?
[Amazon.com:</a> Shades of Gray (9780689826962): Carolyn Reeder, Tim O’Brien: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Shades-Gray-Carolyn-Reeder/dp/0689826966]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Shades-Gray-Carolyn-Reeder/dp/0689826966)</p>
<p>No, it’s
[Amazon.com:</a> Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (9780345803481): E L James: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Shades-Grey-Book-Trilogy/dp/0345803485/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346722154&sr=8-1&keywords=50+shades+of+gray]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Shades-Grey-Book-Trilogy/dp/0345803485/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346722154&sr=8-1&keywords=50+shades+of+gray)</p>
<p>Ok I found it:
[Amazon.com:</a> Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (9780345803481): E L James: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Shades-Grey-Book-Trilogy/dp/0345803485/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1346722063&sr=1-1&keywords=50+Shades+of+Gray]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Shades-Grey-Book-Trilogy/dp/0345803485/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1346722063&sr=1-1&keywords=50+Shades+of+Gray)</p>
<p>See, I didn’t even know the correct title, but I’ve heard it is terribly written, so I’m not reading it. I’m sure my son wouldn’t waste time on it, at any age.</p>
<p>My parents didn’t censor my reading. I didn’t censor my kids’ reading. I’m sure they have encountered plenty of reading material with as much sexual content as Fifty Shades of Grey.</p>
<p>Hopefully, most of it was better written.</p>
<p>I also read Valley of the Dolls when I was in 6th grade, & Downhill Racer! ( made into a movie starring Robert Redford.)
Also those 60’s stewardess comically racy books.
Not scarred for life.</p>
<p>I’ve read the book and am too embarrassed to even talk about it with my kids, much less give it to them. </p>
<p>I censored HEAVILY when they were preschoolers, Somewhat in the elementary years, Monitored in the middle school years, and Kept the Lines Open in the high school years. Results: kids with great values (meaning I can appreciate them even when I don’t agree), ability to make distinctions, openness to talk about Stuff. But censoring a high school junior? Not my thing.</p>
<p>I’m not sure what the content of the recent book is, but it calls to mind “Naked Came the Stranger”. Except that was a deliberate deception. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>You’re not alone, but there are a significant minority who are in the other camp.</p>
<p>It’s been a while since I had a 14yr old, but when mine were that age, they really rarely brought up the topic of sex( or ever).
What I found was helpful, was to watch a movie together, like “the traveling pants”, that gave us situations to talk about.
I wonder if your daughter is looking for more conversations like that, & that is why she brought it up?</p>
<p>I’m sorry young adults aren’t reading better erotic literature, but I don’t have a problem with them reading erotica per se. Like others on this thread I read a bunch of similar stuff (also not particularly well written) when I was in my teens.</p>
<p>Another here whose parents never censored what I read. I continued that tradition with my Ds. We all turned out just fine, even though apparently some may think we don’t have ‘old-fashioned values’. 
</p>
<p>We are also all very avid readers. None of us has read the 50 Shades of Grey books. From what I’ve read they are terribly written, so no interest here.</p>
<p>The Group.</p>
<p>I have never censored once DS was a teen. In his earlier years movies and television shows were chosen based on the lessons that could be learned and of course for artistic merit. But a show was more likely to be vetoed for violence over sex. I consider erotica to be just another form of literature and hope that if DS is reading it, it will be Anais Nin or Henry Miller.</p>
<p>"But a show was more likely to be vetoed for violence over sex. "</p>
<p>So how would you have handled the erotic bondage stuff in Shades of Gray?<br>
I draw a big line at violence/sex. Started the Dragon Girl series but quit in disgust.
So, how do you talk with your teen about softcore porn? Just let them enjoy/puzzle it out? Let them think kinky bondage stuff is normal?<br>
If mine were still teens, I would like to think they would be bored by the terrible writing of the fanfic , but not sure.</p>