Hi all. I am writing this due to an experience I had towards the end of this past school year. After reflected on what had happened, I wondered if any others had experienced something similar during high school. Here’s the story:
Towards the end of my junior year, students with a class rank within the top 30 were selected to help with several ceremonies, including graduation. I was selected, notified by a teacher of mine, and accepted the invitation. A couple weeks later, there was a scheduled meeting to go over our duties for the ceremonies and graduation. When I got to the room after school for the meeting, I could tell many people were staring at me. A few asked if I was looking for the teacher for tutoring, as they obviously had no clue I was part of the top 30. I kindly told them why I was there and didn’t think much of it. In our follow up meetings, the only friend of mine in the group told me that the others had been talking about me behind my back. They were all wondering why I was chosen and apparently some speculated that I had cheated my way to my ranking. Again, I just blew it off, as little did they know I was ranked higher than the majority of them.
Now, I’m a pretty laid back guy, and little things do not agitate me easily, but these incidents annoyed me. I’m confident of my intelligence and know that just as those students, I have worked hard for my academic achievements. Unlike them, however, I do not boast about my rank, GPA, SAT scores. I do not constantly ask others where they plan on applying during lunch like they do. I don’t aspire to attend a top 20 school like the majority of them do. I understood that I was doubted due to who I hang out with and what I usually talk about with my friends.
I write this to ask if any others have a similar experience of having their intelligence due who they associate with or what they usually talk about with friends. Unfortunately, I know that many of these students who scoffed at me often cheat on assignments and tests, and I have had proof to turn them in. I haven’t though because I find that since I am not obligated with my school’s type of honor code, it’s not worth the struggle or time.
If others have felt doubted by peers because they are not the archetype “smart” student at their school, feel free to share.
@NickFlynn Well, one could say that. In my opinion, they are decently friendly kids, but they are extremely competitive when it comes to academics. This is just the top students in my class. The majority of the grade is extremely cool and nice. The top students are just a bit stuck up and in my opinion, not as smart as they think they are.
That sucks. I’ve been doubted before, but probably more due to my appearance–small, quiet, and female. At work I keep being told how to do really simple things because no one remembers that I worked here last summer too. At least you’re showing them up!
My son had a similar experience during a college tour by an Honors College representative who assumed that because he was wearing jeans, a tshirt and VANs during an open house event and wasn’t prepped out that he didn’t have the academic skills to warrant her time to explain the benefits of her program. Little does she know he’s ranked in the top 1% of his class and has a 3.99 unweighted GPA and a 4.9 weighted GPA.
One of my kids has had some similar experiences, even from teachers initially, due to being pretty laid-back, athletic, low key about talking about grades, and hanging around with a real cross section of folks. Definitely doesn’t fit the grade grubbing, hyper-competitive, stressed out type found among many of the top performing students - not that all are that way either.
Your intelligence is what it is. There is no point in worrying about how others see it, particularly if they, for whatever reason, read it wrong. Move on.
Hah! Women experience this every day! Yes, your classmates are shallow snobs. Just do what you’ve been doing and don’t worry about what people think. Excellence is its own proof.
She did explain the program to him less than enthusiastically , but her assistant did provide a wealth of information and recommendations. My son is strong willed and considered that a challenge to do his best to be accepted into the Honors program. We’ll wait and see. We take nothing for granted as it is very competitive .
I think often times in the world of competitive academics it’s really easy for people to not acknowledge the intelligence of someone who doesn’t go around broadcasting how stressed they are about school and how many awards they won. Another thing too, if you are a URM like me, you will often find yourself in a position of everyone assuming you’re the bottom of the totem pole.
also, you really should report the cheaters, its not even about what is fair to you personally it’s about what is fair to the students behind those who cheated who have to report on their college apps that they are not in the top 5%, 10% etc. They may lose offers of admissions, they may lose scholarship money, they may not be able to go to the school of their dreams in their price range because some jerk cheated their way in front of them.
I never felt that GPA, even SAT/ACT scores were representations of intelligence since all you had to do to do well in those departments was work for it. I came from a pretty small school, so everyone knew who the smart kids were. I’ve never had my own intelligence questioned, although I have personally questioned the intelligence of other students (hear me out).
There was a girl in my class who was in the top ten in our school (mainly because some of the students who were in the top ten originally dropped in GPA). I was also in the top ten, but I wasn’t surprised to see her there. I knew she was a “try hard” as I called her, so I knew she’d have a high GPA. The thing was, she was frustratingly stupid. I’m not a mean spirited person, but that’s how she was. On the other hand, some people thought she was smart because she got good grades. My point here is that different people have different opinions on the intelligence of others based on their experiences with that person. So although the top 30 in your school may have thought you were dumb, other students probably thought you were smart.
@gdlt234 I would have to disagree that all you have to do get good grades is to " try hard " That may have been your experience, but doubtful in most cases. How do you account for the hundreds of students who try extremely hard everyday and still struggle ? Many people thought Einstein was mentally retarded. Why did the original top ten drop down in your class? Did they not " try hard"? That hardly seems intelligent. Intelligence will get one so far in this world. Common sense and tact are also necessary to be successful.
@brown1311917 I don’t have concrete evidence at the moment, but I am not just speculating. I know for a fact they have. Group messages were shown to me by a friend once of them sending answers for tests, discussing prompts for essays and DBQs prior to class, and copying large assignments. One kid even took a screenshot of his camera roll on his phone filled with pictures of others work and posted it on Twitter (incredibly stupid, I know) but he wasn’t even dealt with. The sad part is that I know they don’t need to cheat, as they definitely can do well without it. You’re right, it isn’t fair though. Maybe I will turn them in next year if I have the evidence in my hand.
@carolinamom2boys I never said that everyone has to put in an equal amount of work to get good grades. Naturally the more intelligent would have to work less to get good grades, whereas the less intelligent would have to work more. Either way, two people with IQs of 140 and 95 respectively could get straight As in the same classes, only the latter would probably have to work harder for it. There is indeed some sort of intelligence to work ratio one must satisfy in order to get desired grades.
As for the “hundreds” who work hard but still struggle, well they possibly aren’t putting in enough work to compensate for their intelligence and thus get the grade they want. Either way this doesn’t mean grades reflect intelligence at all. A genius could have a 1.0 whereas someone who is perhaps less intelligent could have a 4.0.
I’m not sure what Einstein has to do with this?
As for the top ten, yeah, that’s exactly what happened. They got lazy and stopped doing work (not my opinion, they themselves told me this). Yeah, this “hardly seems intelligent” which is my point. Grades do not reflect intelligence, rather effort.
I agree that those qualities will get one far in this world, but I never said they wouldn’t…
@ gdlt234 My point about Einstein being a genius and many people thinking he was not intelligent based on their impression of intelligence was a subtle way of trying to educate you that perceptions and judgements are not always accurate. I also stand by my opinion that not everyone who tries had can get good grades . Someone with a learning disability may be very intelligent if tested , but still not achieve good grades no matter how hard they work or what accommodations are made. I also know that in order to truly learn one must admit they don’t know everything, but that comes with life experience and maturity .
@carolinamom2boys Ok… but I never said that perceptions and judgements were wholly accurate. In fact, I argued the opposite when I said that different people have different opinions on the intelligence of others depending on their experience with that person. So respectfully, I don’t need you to “educate” me on this subject.
Also, I agree that not everyone who tries hard gets great grades, however the situation is not that simple. I said work has to be put in, which is different from just working hard. Remember the intelligence to work ratio I mentioned? Well although someone may work hard, that doesn’t mean it’s enough to compensate for intelligence and get the grades they want. But my point that I was trying to make to the OP was that grades do not reflect intelligence. A genius can get a 1.0 and your average Joe can be valedictorian depending on their effort.
I’ve been doubted before, but probably more due to my appearance–small, quiet, and female. At work I keep being told how to do really simple things because no one remembers that I worked here last summer too. 
At least you’re showing them up!