My S21 has hit a wall of enthusiasm with college. Despite the pandemic (mostly virtual), he kept up his grades. He took great initiative in the application process and never asked for my help (except for the credit card number ). He was very excited when acceptances came in. Now we have to make a hard choice b/w four great options, and he’s very blah. I’m the one trying to book tours (hard with COVID), sending him links to virtual tours, and other stuff like course requirements for his major at each school. He hasn’t read any of it (except where I listed the male/female ratios) and told me he simply does not want to talk about college yet. Maybe he sees May 1st as so far away, or maybe he’s pessimistic about the prospects of a “normal” freshman year Anyone else?
If he’s anything like my '21, he’s just overwhelmed. There’s been a tremendous amount of change this year and going to college is a huge step. There’s no reason to rush him into a decision. He has time - I would relax a bit and let him enjoy the present.
Thank you. You are right, there is time. I am sure he is overwhelmed, scared and uncertain. The application process was easier than the decision process. Life has become small and sad. School is still 3 days virtual, no seniors show up on the in person days, no prom, he’s in band with no band concerts, etc (like many students). Returning to a normal way of life is uncertain. I realize I’m projecting my own need to control the future onto this issue, but it is his decision. Thanks again.
Our D has also hit a wall! In her case she hasn’t heard back from most of her schools yet, so she says she doesn’t want to talk about college until she gets all of her decisions back. I think our '21s are tired of virtual content, which is only helpful to an extent. I mean, I think it would be hard to get excited about a place that you’ve only ever seen online. Also, if we’ve learned nothing else over the past year, I think we’ve figured out that planning ahead often gets you nowhere! I wonder if he’ll get back into the swing of things when his friends start talking about plans, which for a lot of kids, won’t happen until at least March?
Yes tired of virtual. One of the schools sent invitation out for admitted students open house. Oh wow exciting! However, it turned out to be a virtual event with programming running from 11:00 to 4:00 (and the tour only started at 4:00). Another school same thing, admitted students day turned out to be virtual event from 11:00 to 2:30. He didn’t book either virtual event yet. We have yet to set foot anywhere.
S21 still seems game for a few of the virtual things. He attended a “sample class” this weekend and enjoyed it. But he’s only heard from 3 schools and waiting on all the RD. I feel like I’m kind of the one who has lost interest. They all sound the same after a while. And I don’t see much point in him doing the virtual programs if he doesn’t even know if he’s admitted. Unless it’s to demonstrate interest. In another month+ when this is over, we are going to visit some of his yeses even if campuses are closed. My gut tells me schools will have higher yields if they permit some sort of campus access. Outdoor tour with two families and masked? Seems doable. Not sure why campuses are so adamant about not doing this unless there is a city or county prohibition against it.
I heard this from a small, rural LAC. They’re trying to figure out ways to do individual or very small group visits because “people are going to come anyway.” Large admitted student events don’t make sense, but it’s probably better to try to manage the flow of visitors, rather than letting them wander around, sneak into buildings, that sort of thing.
Someone suggested to go to Reddit or some platform like that to hire a student for a day to show us around. I may consider that for the one huge school we can’t manage on our own. Plus we would try to find someone with his com sci major. I’ve sure the performing arts center is lovely, but we really need to focus on the science/engineering buildings under the limited circumstances (conversely a music major has #1 priority to see/hear everything about concert hall).
Yes, definitely tired of all the virtual stuff. We’ve done a few “accepted student webinars” and, boy, it’s so hard to get a feel of the place from yet another PowerPoint presentation. Such a poor substitute for walking the campus, seeing the students, sitting in the classroom, and eating in the cafeteria. Honestly, I feel like we could sit through every virtual accepted student presentation and still feel like we are picking a college blindly. They all blend together after a while!
My older kid dealt with some of this same fatigue and disconnectedness when she went through the process a few years ago and that was pre-covid! When you are applying…it’s all pie-in-the-sky dreaming and wishing. When you are actually evaluating colleges, it means that stuff is getting real. It’s scary and intimidating. A lot of kids get into a mode of denial when it’s time to actually choose. They can only pick one and they feel the weight of that decision. Sometimes they cope by pretending the decision doesn’t exist…at least for a little while.
So many states have travel restrictions in place. We were thinking of taking a road trip to see one of the colleges but started wondering about the travel restrictions in our own state plus the state we’d be traveling to.
For our state, we’d all have to quarantine upon returning. That means no in-school attendance for my son (they are currently doing a hybrid model). And, for the state we are traveling to, we’d have to figure out their rules. Will they make us quarantine upon arrival? Will we have to show negative covid tests to check into a hotel?
So so much to consider! All that just to do a self-guided walk around campus. I keep thinking back to my older child’s accepted student days and realizing how good we had it!
I didn’t even think about the travel restrictions. I think PA still has some version and definitely school has the 14 days. So if we take a one afternoon drive from PA to MD, we have to quarantine! In practice I am sure nobody does that. The university we wanted to visit is currently in sequester in place and I got an an email from them saying no guided tours and basically we don’t even want visitors until it’s safer. Not sure we can fit this one in (but it’s my last choice personally).
I did not realize this was still a thing, especially given the easing up of restrictions. We live on two state borders so could easily go have lunch in another state. We can also be vaccinated in neighboring states, ironically.
I just looked this up. PA has travel restriction that travel from any state requires negative test within 72 hours or if no test given, must quarantine for ten days. MD is the same. Delaware is hard to tell, but it looks like restriction lifted. In practice, I am sure that students and their families cross these borders all the time and do no test and/or quarantine. The question is whether the campus may make us test before a tour.
We live in a state with some pretty heavy restrictions. Our school just sent a new notice to all parents. It said that if we travel out of state for more than 24 hours we are required, before we travel, to tell the school nurse where we are going and the exact dates of departure and return.
I think they are gearing up for families who are planning on traveling out of state for spring break. They are being very clear that if you travel there will be documentation required and quarantine consequences.
It feels sort of invasive, but on the flip side, our schools have been able to stay open with relatively low covid rates.
I’m sure that day-trippers cross borders all the time with no concern for restrictions. Our primary thought was the hotel…will they let us check in without a covid test once they see we live in another state? We’ve got some research to do
Maybe he’s just feeling a little burnt out. Does he still enjoy any of his classes?
S21 hit a wall before college app submissions even began - in large part due to a change in our high school’s instructional model (due to COVID) that has him at his computer from 8:30 AM to after 4 PM every day with only about a 30 minute break (and then homework). This all was put in place with almost no warning and during app and essay writing time.
He’s gotten acceptances from safeties and he doesn’t even react, he hasn’t even checked his email from colleges in probably a month (I tell him I read on CC that decisions are being announced), and he has no interest in any of the virtual opportunities being offered. I think he’s just over it all and ready to know which schools he can choose from and wants to move on.
I was so excited for him to go through this process this year but it’s ended up being me caring more than him. Most of his top choice schools come in March so I hope he gets re-engaged at that point, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he literally just throws a dart at a dartboard and picks a school. More casualties of COVID.
Isn’t it crazy how much screen time they have now?!? Our son’s remote days are the same: 6-7 hours of school screen time, and then 4 or more hours of homework screen time. It’s unreal and I feel so sad when I see him sitting at his desk chair for so long.
IMO the teachers really need to re-think the homework model this year. For example, in some cases, let the kids decide if homework actually needs to be done. If the kid understands the concepts and doesn’t need practice or reinforcement, let him sign something saying he is waiving homework due to strong comprehension. As it is, my son spends hours on homework that is really just “busy work”-practicing stuff that he already knows how to do. I’d rather see him get his eyes off the screen.
Well said. At the same time the whole world and every plan in it is in flux - they have to make this huge choice! And on top of it, because they can’t attend an accepted student day, visit and watch a class in person, they have less information than previous years!
We’ve not had state restrictions at all through this whole thing so it didn’t occur to me. I’m tested weekly at work on the day of my choice so that’s not an issue. Can get S21 tested with me. But then traveling onwards would be hard getting further multiple tests.
We are both vaccinated and after the second dose I won’t be tested at work anymore. I wonder if states will view vaccinated folks differently. Just read an article (not yet peer reviewed) that said Pfizer reduces transmissibility by 89%.
Visiting campuses is the only thing re college my kid talks about at this point. Like “if I decide for sure it’s X school and am not interested in the others, can we still visit?” I told him we will. I don’t want his first foot on campus to be move in day.