I wish I could figure out a way not to be interrupted in meetings with men… I’m old enough that I don’t think I sound tentative or unprofessional. It drives me nuts. 
@ChoatieMom I agree with your son. I cannot take anyone seriously who speaks this way and find it hard to hear in the message in the speech pattern. Also, I think it becomes more difficult to break down the road. I might try speaking that way for a day ( though I don’t want to emulate it either).
I think some people (in some regions of the country) don’t even recognize it since they all speak that way. Yikes.
There are many ways we all undercut our authority when speaking. Teen Speak is just more obvious.
A few years back, DS#1, after moving to the W coast, picked up the expression “Totally!” from his wife. I looked at him with apparently a shocked expression when he used it. Have never heard it since.
Women need to be taught sometimes to not apologize for their opinions or existence. That uptalk to me makes these young women sound as insecure and not confident. Every once in awhile I need to do a training session in the office to get the women to stop apologizing for everything, especially on the phone. It’s amazing how quickly women say I’m sorry when the situation in no way calls for them to apologize.
I teach my daughter all of this, and I don’t care if she gets irritated. I do it at a time when she’s receptive to hearing how to be a successful woman in the world.
“I think some people (in some regions of the country) don’t even recognize it since they all speak that way. Yikes.”
Yes, when it happens in one’s general environment, it (unfortunately) becomes part of the normal speech pattern, drawing no attention at all.
The new phrases used by kids that I cannot stand are “low key” and “high key.” I high-key doubt that I will ever like those expressions.
@hgtvaddict Fortunately, I haven’t heard either of those expressions yet.
“Low key” has been around forever. I think you mean how it’s used.
I find it more than a little ironic that millennials are the ones accused of being “snowflakes” and it’s mostly older people that are so judgey about things. Especially things primarily in the teen girl sphere.
I couldn’t tell you how much, if at all, my kids use these speech patterns. Nor could I tell you whether their friends do. If they do, it isn’t something that registers in my mind. I can think of a whole long list of worse speech patterns than uptalk and using the word like.
1 Like
I like the way millennials use “low key”. I even like high key.
What I can’t stand is how often I hear young people say, “I’m so stressed!” “It’s so stressful!” I always have to bite my tongue not to respond, “Wait until you’re responsible for three kids, a dog, a husband, and work!” but I refrain. We did speak to our daughter about it, and she’s not saying it as often.
My daughters also use the phrase “so, yeah” at the end of a sentence when talking to me, but only on the phone. Drives me crazy. My son, who has been out in the work force a few years, never talked that way.
@mom2twogirls Maybe you haven’t noticed it because your kids don’t speak that way. Or, maybe they do and you don’t notice. Not everything is going to bother every person. But I think it also depends on what you do for a living. In some fields being articulate is part of the job. In some fields, it is the job.
I could not bill clients with a straight face unless I could speak properly. I couldn’t let my kids continue speaking in such a manner without calling attention to it since I think it would hold anyone back-male, female, young or old. Same would go for swearing a lot in daily conversation ( in a business setting).
Funny though, I don’t read any judgement in the thread at all. So I guess someone will read or be bothered by things which they think are important. I didn’t see any snowflake comments so I can’t comment on that either.
One of my side gigs is public speaking coach. Let’s just say that sometimes people naturally outgrow these speech patterns, and sometimes they become ingrained and next thing you know your employer is telling you you need to hire a public speaking coach…
Nagging her isn’t going to do it. There are a few techniques you can use, but honestly, I don’t think she’d appreciate having a parent do that. In your situation, I think you need to talk to her about code-switching. Explain that it’s a skill to be able to talk to different groups of people in different ways and that you want her to practice it by speaking differently (professionally) around you. You can even take her to see “The Hate U Give” which I am anticipating will show code-talking in action. (Assuming it follows the book.) Good luck with this!
“What I can’t stand is how often I hear young people say, “I’m so stressed!” “It’s so stressful!” I always have to bite my tongue not to respond, “Wait until you’re responsible for three kids, a dog, a husband, and work!” but I refrain. We did speak to our daughter about it, and she’s not saying it as often”
I have NEVER been as stressed as I was in law school. . Now if there were a true health or other crisis that might be different. But Certainly no “normal life things” have caused the kind of stress school did. Not when I had an 20 month old and an infant and was working full time. Nothing has ever come close. . I have found that in the real world there are a lot less “make or break” things the way there were in school with tests.
For many people who feel like I did about school there is no “ just you wait”. It really was as bad as it gets and I would never question any young person who felt very stressed out by school
@My3Kiddos Great advice. I do think that some kids pick this up in their teens and it continues into adulthood.
“would then say “so, yeah” as if to sort of reinforce that they were finished speaking”
I’ve noticed this as well the past few years.
“I wish I could figure out a way not to be interrupted in meetings with men”
Try saying “let me finish” then keep on talking, a little louder if needed.
For those saying “there are worse things kids can do”, of course. We all know that. Doesn’t make it any less irritating. If we limited threads and comments to “the worse things”, CC would be a quiet place.
On the list of all the bad habits your child could have picked up, this is probably number 16,472.
I can see that it annoys you, and I can see why. But I would keep my eye on the big picture: you have a bright daughter, who is choosing to keep up her grades, choosing not to smoke or vape or drink or do drugs or have sex. But she uses the word “like” too often for your liking.
Then I would go give her a hug and tell her just how proud of her I was.
@MaineLonghorn, there’s a bunch of advise on line, but one of the interesting ones is to find a buddy (works best if it’s a guy), who will pipe up and say “Let her finish” for you, if saying it yourself doesn’t work.
I think it’s good for kids to learn to code switch. They can swear and use like all they want with friends, but they need to know how to clean up their act when the occasion calls for it.
I have one good friend who is both very loud and uses the f-word a lot. I really dread going to restaurants with her.