<p>Hello, I worked very hard throughout my four years at a private boarding school and was accepted to Kenyon College as a “top 15%” applicant with exceptional financial aid and academic scholarships. However, I am utterly miserable and depressed and wake up every morning feeling that I made the wrong decision. I didn’t apply to many schools and my only other choice offered me much less financial aid so I feel bound by the money. I have no idea where I want to transfer. I feel as though I wasted all of my time looking at the wrong schools in high school and didn’t know what I wanted. I have no idea what to do: any advice?</p>
<p>relax. breathe. what don’t you like about Kenyon? you don’t mention it in the post and it’s only been a few weeks.</p>
<p>It feels wrong from the moment I arrived. The social scene heavily revolves around drinking because there is really nothing else to do on the weekends. The location is way too remote to me. I had a fabulous time when I was here for the Kenyon Young Writers program when I was 15, but I’ve changed a lot since then. The people here are also a problem. I’ve only been here a few weeks but I’ve been teased and snubbed a lot! The thing is: if you need to “get away” and take a break from your roommate, dorm, or even just school in general there is no where to go unless you have a car (which I don’t).</p>
<p>“if you need to “get away” and take a break from your roommate, dorm, or even just school in general there is no where to go unless you have a car (which I don’t).”</p>
<p>Every campus has some place that is “away”. If you put your mind to it and start looking, you will surely locate an attic in the library, a rooftop on the science building, a basement under the cafeteria, a hidden bench in a nearby cemetery, or the like. While you are hunting down this place, pay attention to any other students who seem to be on the same mission. They may have good ideas for you.</p>
<p>Students who have nothing to do but drink on the weekends are fools. While you are staying away from them, you will run into the others who are also staying away. Again, if you pool your resources you should be able to come up with something fun to do. </p>
<p>If you still haven’t managed to keep yourself busy, get a job. Any job. Paid or volunteer. Fill those empty hours in your schedule. The time will go a lot faster.</p>
<p>Wishing you all the best.</p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear you are having a good time and that you have been snubbed - not fun! Adjusting to college isn’t easy to begin with. You may have hit the nail on the head and your dream school is not right for you but right now you have to find a position of strength in order to make a positive change - that would include seeking a quiet place^ and others who are like minded, even if there aren’t many. Find a way to do some volunteer work as happymomof1 says, breath, journal, do very well academically so you can transfer if you still want to, and do seek help from a counselor. I’m sure there are counselors available on campus. Finding the tools and strength to deal with a situation that is difficult will help you the rest of your life, this is a great opportunity to grow as a person. Try to finish the semester at least. If you work to come from a position of strength you may find that you have come to like your school again and if not it will be much easier to make a change.</p>
<p>Did you look through the similar threads below to see if there is any help concerning what type of options you would have if you left your school after 1 semester? If you knew what your options were it might be easier to develop an exit strategy if need be.</p>
<p>ooops - meant to write sorry to hear you are NOT having a good time!</p>
<p>yes, but it’s hard to think where I’d go from Kenyon. I don’t have the time or money to do the whole “visiting colleges” thing again.</p>
<p>I’m gonna go along with everyone else and advise you to take a step back and really give yourself some time. Even people who end up at their dream school sometimes find themselves NOT liking it — in the beginning. It’s a huge adjustment. And I’m sure it’s a HUGH disappointment if you went in there expecting to love it.</p>
<p>Maybe you’ll never grow to love it and maybe you are destined to transfer. However, maybe it’s just going to take a little while. I would strongly urge you to try to stick out the year, not just the semester. If you are truly still unhappy at the end of the first semester, get out those transfer applications. If you are truly still unhappy at the end of the year, send in your deposit for whatever great school I’m sure you’ll get in to. I can’t help but think you might be able to turn this all around at Kenyon though!!</p>
<p>Do try to keep busy; do try to get the best grades you can; do try to find like-minded students; and maybe (just maybe) go out with some of the other kids on the weekend. You don’t have to drink. You might actually meet someone else in the exact same situation as you are in. Also, there is the possibility that everyone is not drinking quite as much as you might think they are. Really, really make an effort. After all this is your “dream” school - do you want to let go of the dream that quickly?</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>Play intramural sports. You’ll make friends and have fun.</p>
<p>It can take awhile to settle in. Give it time, and keep your grades up so you can transfer if things still don’t work out. </p>
<p>Here’s the thing… the partiers are probably the majority and loudest on campus. Those with different priorities are probably chilling somewhere having a great time! It’s just hard to find these people. Before class, you should introduce yourself to people and have a friendly conversation what they did this weekend. Eventually, you’ll run into someone who didn’t say partying. I would also suggest scouting out interesting student organizations. The rugby club may not have the “crowd” you are looking for but fencing or marital arts clubs might. What else are you interested in? </p>
<p>You still have time to figure out if Kenyon is for you. The transfer deadlines I’ve seen for liberal arts colleges aren’t due until February at the earliest (and those are usually a priority deadline).</p>
<p>If you want to meet more non-drinker types, I suggest you hook up with the musical types or engineering types. You don’t say what you are studying, but that may have something to do with the circles you’re hanging around.</p>
<p>Volunteer to join a group that builds sets for musical theater or does lighting for orchestra. Do they have stuff like that at Kenyon?</p>
<p>I feel for you, but it’s still early and adjusting takes time. It may work out well in the end.</p>
<p>I went to Kenyon many years ago (didn’t graduate from there, though). I also visited there with my daughter two years ago when she was considering schools. She, too, was a boarding school student. Prior to our visit, I cautioned her that the school is in the back of beyond and that each and every time I would leave there when I was a student, I felt as if I were returning from another country to civilization as the rest of the world knew it. The word isolated doesn’t begin to describe that campus. And I found that nothing had changed in the many years since I was there. Oh, sure, there had been some building, but the dorms were exactly as I remembered them, perhaps a bit more run down.</p>
<p>All this is not to say that there aren’t many fine things about Kenyon in terms of programs and opportunities. There are. BUT! I can’t tell you from my experience that you will not grow to feel any less isolated. Drinking was the major entertainment there even “back in day.”</p>
<p>My daughter had a terrific interview when she visited there, but beyond that was completely unenthusiastic. Attended a writing class but found it dull and the students unengaged. We toured in the rain, and she slipped on an icy stone step which resulted in a hairline fracture. Of course we both realized that our visit experiences were unfortunate in the extreme, but it was very clear that it would have been a huge mistake for her to apply there.</p>
<p>Now here’s part two of the story. She attended another liberal arts school as a freshman and has since transferred to a much larger university in a city where she is very happy. She came home from her first semester as a freshman unhappy, but did not realize until she returned to school for second semester last year that she absolutely could not attend there for another three years. Here’s my point. Try to take a reading on how you are feeling when you go home for the holidays. If you still are not feeling that Kenyon is working for you, take time on your break to research schools online. It’s a different ballgame when you transfer; you do not need to visit all the schools as you did before. We certainly didn’t. In fact, my daughter ended up choosing a school she had never seen before, and it’s great for her. We had visited two of the schools to which she applied to transfer, but did not see four others. Her list of transfer schools was completely different from the list of schools to which she had applied for her freshman year. Completely.</p>
<p>So what I’m saying is this: hedge your bets at the holidays and use the free time available to you then to do a little research if you are so inclined, and even start working on those apps. There is no harm done in applying to transfer and ultimately deciding not to leave Kenyon, if it comes to that.</p>
<p>Further, if you got Financial Aid at Kenyon, you will get comparable aid at another school; I guarantee it. My daughter did. Her aid packages at all the schools that accepted her were comparable. </p>
<p>Keep an open mind but apply to a range of types and sizes of schools, just be sure they have good programs for your interests.</p>
<p>If writing and the arts are your thing, take a look at Vassar, maybe, or Johns Hopkins University which has the terrific Writing Seminars major. Change it up and look at things in cities and suburbs. There are many, many options to choose from.</p>
<p>Keep your grades up. This will help if you apply to other schools. Additionally, you want to cultivate relationships with as many of your instructors this semester as you can so they can speak knowledgeably about your talents in references for you.</p>
<p>My daughter absolutely maintained that she did NOT want to be that girl who transferred; she did NOT want to be that new kid again. Now, however, she would tell you it has been so worth it.</p>
<p>Best of luck to you. Hang in there and try to make it work this term. Then if it doesn’t you will know you have given it everything you’ve got and the answer will become clear.</p>