But, if nothing else, age is supposed to give us wisdom. We would hope. If I wrote such a letter today I might tell my 18 YO self to stop worrying about what other people want all the time. But, that actually happened anyway. I knew I was a follower and I knew, if I was going to accomplish anything with my life, I had to stop being around just to please other people and do what the crowd wanted and not getting any respect or attention. I’m not sure what else I would say. There certainly have been inflection points in my life, everyone’s life, that changed the course of everything and I think, for the most part, I played my cards right.
But who can say?
No one knows what would have happened if I had rolled the dice a different way.
I might have pursued a career that I totally loved but I might be regretting the fact that I had $50 in the bank instead of the amount I do have. If that had been the case, don’t tell me I wouldn’t have had regrets because I would have.
As far as relationships and love, I’ve been hearing from a lot of old friends lately, I think because we are at that age when you realize we are coming down the other side of the mountain now. We reached as highly as we could but, for the most part, our lives are what they are at this point. I think, for some people, that is a bit of a scary feeling that causes them to want to reach out and reconnect to old friends.
I’m always reflecting on things anyway so I don’t get into reflective moods it is a constant state of mind for me. I know why thing, if I didn’t fight for the current love of my life, my kids never would have been born. I can’t say what the future would have held for me if I had gone a different direction but I can say I’m really happy with what I did end up with. It is always a little fun to think about the other side of the street, so to speak, but it can be inaccurate too if you don’t think about all the things you would have lost if you had done something else.
I think, overall, I would encourage my 18 YO self to relax some. It’s all going to turn out alright.
–study harder, it’s ok to miss a party
–treat women better
Not much else. Then again, if I corrected the above too much, I would not have met my wife at a time when I had matured enough to attract, and hold onto, the best thing that ever happened to me. Plus, the whole “Butterfly Effect” thing scares me.
Below please find the name, phone number, and current address of your future wife. Track her down now so you will have 12 more years together that you otherwise would not.
Also I have included a list of all winners of the Super Bowl, World Series, NCAA Final Four, NBA championship, FIFA World Cup, Heavyweight Boxing Championship, and Kentucky Derby for the next 33 years. Wager accordingly and you will be set for several lifetimes.
Oh and it wouldn’t kill you to hit the gym on a regular basis beginning now.
Dear 18 year old self, That guy you love and who doesn’t love you back? It’s okay. You’re going to stay friends with him, and find someone else in less than a year. I’d probably also tell myself to stay at the Radcliffe dorms instead of moving to a River house.
I haven’t but would probably say something like, “Yes, we really do get stronger from adversity. We can survive a whole lot of it and pain does dull and lessen over time, even heartbreak.”
S has a whole file of letters he is writing to his FUTURE selves - something like 5 year increments. 20-> 30, 20-> 35, etc. It will be interesting to see how he views them when he opens them later in life.
Sometimes life is about risking everything for a dream no one can see but you.
Don’t wait for the approval of others. You may never get it. Stay true to your heart and follow your intuition for what seems right for you. Create the best version of yourself. Life is full of detours but always remember your dreams are important too. No matter what happens keeping moving forward one step at a time.
Dear 18 year old self,
Take the free trip to France. Your boyfriend will survive without you for a couple of weeks and be waiting for you when you get back.
Also, your body looks fine! You are not fat! You are curvy in just the right way - appreciate that now!
No. But at our high school the freshman write letters to their senior self.The school mails them when they graduate. DS13’s somehow got lost and he got his this last summer…Also DS19’s class wrote them in 5th grade and received them in 9th grade.
Ask your doctor about treating your acne. You've already had it for five years. You don't know it now, but it won't go away naturally until you're past 40. It's not vanity to want to treat it. It's not selfishness. Just do it.
Get rid of that hideous olive green parka. What were you thinking?
Yes, your relationship with that guy is promising. But think a little bit about whether you really want to get engaged so soon. You're still growing and changing, and so is he. You may still be good partners for each other a few years down the road or you may not. It would be better to wait a bit before making a commitment.
There's nothing wrong with your dream of becoming a librarian, even though your parents wouldn't want you in a traditionally female profession. Yes, they would be horrified. And your boyfriend might laugh at you. But that's their problem. And yes, you would have to borrow money for the master's program. But you have no undergraduate debt. You could manage.
Stand up to and say something to and about those individuals that tried, and in some cases sadly succeeded, to take advantage of you in many ways,
I always think of myself as a strong person. Yet I have allowed myself to be in very uncompromising positions.
If only I could go back… it makes my blood curdle that I did not react the way I should have. But that is female shame. I am learning that it is not me. I was not the one doing the wrong thing.
This is an emotional answer for me. It hit a nerve. No I was not raped. But almost on several occasions. That is another thread, if allowed.