<p>Ilovedcollege and threekids. Sorry for your loss. I lost my dad a few months ago. They had a plot and we’d already been through this with my mom, so it wasn’t too hard to handle. The freezing temperatures and many feet of snow on the ground… that was another issue.</p>
<p>No charge for the obit? Wow. That was true for our local religious paper where I live, but the obit in the NYT was expensive.</p>
<p>Thank you jym626. The death notice in the local paper cost $200, in our religious paper (and they shortened it on us…it was short to begin with but they removed the grandchildren’s names and mom wouldn’t have liked that) was $85. No obituary.</p>
<p>It all depends on the area and the particular newspaper. For my hometown newspaper, there is no charge. However, if you don’t send them an obit, nothing happens. They certainly don’t initiate anything.</p>
<p>I claim expert status on this as I used to write obits while in college.</p>
<p>At most newspapers there are three levels: the free listing, though a lot of newspapers have dropped those just as they’ve dropped free birth anouncements; the paid death notices that usually run with a picture and resemble classified ads; and an editorial obit, which is when the person is of some stature in the community. Those are free as they are part of the newspaper’s editorial section, rather than the ads. Sometimes, the family will call in to give a heads-up to the newspaper, which makes the call of whether to do an editorial obit, and, of course, some people are so famous that it’s a no-brainer.</p>
<p>For really famous people, packages are “in the can.” In other words, stories have been written, photos pulled and pages laid out. We’re talking major figures for this, like presidents and celebrities who have local ties.</p>
<p>I planned my ex-wife’s funeral in enormous and glorious detail. Foolishly, I committed my plan to writing. I recognize, now, that taken out of context, this fine display of forethought and organizational initiative may be viewed as nefarious. </p>
<p>On the upside, I now know that the Patriot Act has a very real, practical, and far reaching scope; additionally many, if not most, federal law enforcement officials lack appreciation for the hard work and planning required to put on a truly spectacular social event.</p>
<p>
That is HILARIOUS!</p>
<p>The paper for the expensive obit was in the East Bay Area of San Francisco. Smaller towns may be a better deal! We did get the obit placed on-line for one year…so people can leave comments which was really nice. But still…it does make you question that expense!
By the way- my grandmother had her body donated to Stanford University. They paid all the expenses including her cremation. And after the medical students used grandma for good purposes, her ashes were returned to us by the local mortuary that Standford uses.
It was a great thing on all accounts. Money saved and yes…my Grandmother went to Stanford! Dad tried for this option…but he had MRSA in the hospital once and that kicks him off the Standford list because it is a infectious disease that apparently stays around after death.</p>
<p>As an elder law and estate planning attorney, this thread caught my eye and I had to chime in with some professional advice. </p>
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<li><p>Kudos to all of you who have done estate plans. But, for those of you who have included your cremation instructions in the body of your Wills (and nowhere else), I encourage you to sign freestanding “Cremation Directives” which express your desire to be cremated and your wishes for disposition of your remains (or giving discretion to decide to one particular person, and then an alternate person if the first person is not able/willing to decide). Until a Will is approved by a probate court, it is just an expensive piece of paper with no legal effect. A local funeral director taught at a seminar I attended that if there is no written directive, and there is disagreement among the family members, they will not cremate (because that can’t be undone!). </p></li>
<li><p>Ditto for anyone wanting to donate bodies to medical schools. Don’t just put it in your Will. Contact the particular school, get their donation forms, and fill them out. And then have a backup plan because the med schools reserve the right to say “thanks but no thanks” after you have died for a bunch of reasons.</p></li>
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<p>^^^Ditto on the body donation forms. My mom said for years that she wanted to donate her whole body to science. Doctors would say “oh just indicate that on your license” and she kept saying “I don’t want to just donate organs!” She found out Vanderbilt would take body donations but it took a while to find the right department (even though all her docs are at Vandy.) Turns out they only accept forms to be placed on the list for donation for a few months out of the year. And you must be on the list before you die; a family member can’t decide to donate your body after you pass away (too many people would do that to ditch out on paying for burial.) I have a card in my wallet that I carry on her behalf to call when the time comes.</p>
<p>I just had occasion to check on the cost of an obit for a friend, in a newspaper for a mid-sized town. The first 70 words free, and then 70 cents A WORD thereafter and photos $15.</p>
<p>Ouch. That obit just got shorter.</p>
<p>I’m also a lawyer who does estate planning and probate and second the advice above about cremation and donation directives.</p>
<p>I’ve had clients hand me very elaborate instructions for their funerals including what psalms should be read (by whom) and what hymns should be sung (and in what order). I’ve always wondered if it’s my legal obligation to attend the funerals and scream out if the wrong hymn is sung (which in many cases would be difficult for me because I’m Jewish and many of my clients are not, and I don’t know one Christian hymn from another!!)</p>
<p>(PS - do NOT give your attorney your funeral plans . . . most often I don’t hear about a client’s death until after the funeral so if I had the plans it would be too late. Give them to the loved ones who will be in charge of your funeral.)</p>