<p>Imo, no news is good news. </p>
<p>I’m sure my son won’t call me but he’ll text his dad (I don’t do text.)</p>
<p>I can only go by the experience of friends and family whose kids have been in college. Most of the kids call constantly - sometimes several times a day! It is like they are attached at the hip. And these are kids who went away to summer camp since they were 6 and teen tours abroad. </p>
<p>I don’t want my kid calling constantly and needing to run by me every problem/decision.</p>
<p>^^ agree Emily.</p>
<p>I have a non communicative child- even when she was living at home.
When she was abroad after high school I was very concerned half the time because she basically was by herself & I didn’t hear from her for weeks.</p>
<p>However- she now is within two hours drive for college & it is great. Now that she has her own place, she feels ( IMO) more independent and she is more communicative & welcomes many more visits than I had with her sister, who was farther away</p>
<p>( additionally- I believe that in our familys case- the concerns that the oldest had, when she was at school, that necessitated taking a year break after junior year, could have been avoided if I had been closer/knew more what was going on)
YMMV</p>
<p>I am enjoying all the interesting replies.</p>
<p>When my son stated he didn’t want to go too too far from home, it suprised me a bit, since he has always been so independent (travelling alone with no problems, etc).</p>
<p>My basic philosophy is to listen to the kid-- so if he has any doubts, I try to listen. But then I read that financial aid is better if you go farther away, so that is tempting. And he is being flexible about it.</p>
<p>He is a junior, so things could change. We are trying develop a list of schools to visit, though.</p>
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<p>uhhh…edit - Eight hundred MILES! :)</p>
<p>I’m usually good about catching errors before the edit expires. I missed the window on this one. I kind of botched the post but that was the most glaring. I think everyone got the idea though.</p>
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<p>My daughter, who attends an out-of-state college, is going through on-campus recruiting now, and yes, most of the jobs she has applied for are in the same state where she goes to school – although there are exceptions.</p>
<p>However, even having your child at a nearby college doesn’t guarantee that he/she won’t skip town after graduation. My son attended our state university, which is less than an hour from home. He is now attending graduate school on the opposite side of the country.</p>
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<p>I think it may be best to let the student’s instincts be the guide on this matter. Sometimes, they’re just not ready to go far away. My son wasn’t ready at 18 – and then at 22, he was ready to move 3,000 miles away.</p>
<p>My older D & S went 5 hours away which was a reasonable driving distance. We went up to see D’s games a lot. Didn’t visit S as much, he’s seriously uncommunicative. He had a fire at his off-campus house, was woken up by the Fire dept and never mentioned it, I found out at graduation, among many similar stories. He was offered a full nmf at a CA Univ and as much as it would be nice not to have a parent loan, I’m not sure it would have worked out so well. Now he lives & works 2 hours away. I haven’t seen him since Mother’s Day. I finally received a text back that he would see me Thanksgiving weekend.</p>
<p>My D lives on the opposite coast, I probably talk to her once a week and text every couple of days or so. I usually fly out twice and she comes East as well. She is now looking at moving even farther away. That will be tough.</p>
<p>My current senior S will probably go to school much farther, he’s looking to get out of the cold North East. He is fairly good at keeping in touch, so that should be ok. The flights though are a little tough. Someone was just asking me yesterday if it would bother me having him so far away. Well I figure I will probably fly in for 1 weekend a semester, I don’t think that is unreasonable, maybe not after the first couple of years. Not sure if he will come home on semester breaks.</p>
<p>With Son 1,2, and 3 we never had a set time to communicate. However I do remember the first year we would speak at least 1 or 2 times a week with quick texts inbetween. By the senior year it is still once a week but the texts are down to about 1 every other day.</p>
<p>Daughter was the least communicative and she is the one we had the problems with. Communication with her was like pulling teeth. Her lack of communication with us was a clear sign that she was in trouble and she did end up home after the first year. </p>
<p>Every kid is different…When my kids are at their happiest I hear from them more often. They love to share good news. I know if something is not right when I don’t hear from them. This has been their way since they went off to school. I will call if I don’t hear something within two days from any one of them. I never let it go beyond that point. My sons love when they hear from us. I text first and ask if it is a good time to talk. If not I ask them when would be a better time. I never put any pressure on them and I always start with I love you or Its a glorious day or some other sweet message. I am sure to hear back within an hour.</p>
<p>Son3 will be moving to the United Emitrates upon graduation. Son2 still not decided, and Son1 will either continue working but will move to Manhattan by the summer. The college distance has less to do with it than the college major and the job opportunity where you live.</p>
<p>I would really hesitate before sending a kid far away unless he or she really wants it. You need to consider not just the distance, but how long the travel time is. I really wanted my daughters to have the option of coming home for an occasional weekend. We live near a major airport and Amtrak station, so that gave them many options. When considering a far away school, don’t forget to budget for travel expenses.</p>
<p>^^but if the kids are aware they aren’t going to have the option of coming home for an occasional weekend then that isn’t an important consideration. I’m sure that my boys miss on some level the option to come home once in a while, but that wasn’t on their priority list. Do I wish I saw them more than twice a year? Sure. But our job is to help them establish independence so in that case their “wants” are more important and aligned with our jobs as parents. All I ask is that they call me once a week or so. But I tell them I want them to call me once a week or so no matter how old they are. If I’m alive when they are fifty I’ll still want to talk to them!</p>
<p>There are pros/cons to everything. My biggest short term worry with son 2000 miles away in Boston is dealing with “the stuff”. I’m hoping he finds summer storage 
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<p>We are lucky because a wonderful scholarship means more flexibility for travel expenses than we’d have if we were paying tuition. I will say the October Parent Weekend visit was wonderful. Also have son coming home for Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. </p>
<p>For parents contemplating long distance colleges, here’s some things that should give a location extra “points”: </p>
<ul>
<li><p>easy access to an airport, ideally one with direct flights home</p>
<ul>
<li>family or friends within easy driving distance (a warm fuzzy, on the rare chance kids gets really sick etc)</li>
<li>a lot of other students from long distance, not a campus with mostly locals who go home on weekends </li>
<li>this one almost goes without saying… good scholarship or FA opportunities</li>
</ul></li>
</ul>
<p>My son is 13 hours from home (roughly 800 miles). He cannot text me for a reason – we do not have cell service at home or at my work. So he has learned to call regularly. In fact, he usually telephones me at work and chats for a minute or two en route to class. He couldn’t come home for fall break, because it was just a three-day weekend. But he was thrilled that I could take off two days from work and fly down to see him. </p>
<p>As a freshman, he admitted that sometimes he got lonely for home, especially when he read a Facebook post that we had something for dinner that he really likes. But he does chat regularly with some of his friends who elected to stay in state. And Skype really is great. He’s even helped his kid brother with homework.</p>
<p>When my son was in Europe for a semester, Skype was a lifesaver. Even just using the “chat” option, which is what we usually did, was good.</p>
<p>We use skype a lot. We’ve never done it with camera. A few years ago we did a voice skype (with DH in Europe, DD at college, and DS and me at home in den). But usually we just do the “chat” option.</p>
<p>Daughter is 1200 miles away.</p>
<p>Things considered other than the excellent education/opportunites:</p>
<p>Direct flights, as noted above</p>
<p>Quick access to medical care if needed (Type 1 diabetic/college athlete)</p>
<p>Nice place to visit</p>
<p>We have used skype frequently, even before last year’s study abroad.</p>
<p>I agree with the parent who pointed out that it’s the life after college that you should worry about when your kid goes far away, not the four years at school.</p>
<p>My daughter was sure she would only stay on the east coast for undergrad and then come back to California. Well, she’s been on the east coast for seven years now, and I don’t see much changing anytime soon. She got a grad school offer she couldn’t refuse, and now has a job in the area. Once they live in an area at this time of life , they make contacts and opportunities present themselves. If they come “home”, they have to start from scratch, and it’s a little more challenging sometimes. If their college city has more opportunities for them than their home city, you really can’t complain. But yes, we do miss her!! We used to hear from her more often when she was an undergrad, but now that she’s working and has a network of friends who substitute as family, we don’t here from her nearly as often.</p>
<p>As parents, we’re thinking of them everyday- wondering how they are, remembering little things they did when they were home. They, on the other hand, are hardly thinking of us at all! They have to remind themselves to call us so that we don’t worry!</p>
<p>My S is half-way across the country, in St. Louis, from NJ. He’s a freshman, so we’re only a bit more than two months into it. He is not overly communicative. He will occasionally text unprompted, but almost never calls unprompted. I try to call him about once a week. If I don’t catch him, I will text him to call home when he can, and he will do that. I had to learn what would be a good time, based on his schedule. I started out trying to call on Sunday evenings, but discovered that wasn’t a great time, since he had Calc 2 homework to do then. I figured out that Thursday afternoon/evening was generally a good time to call, and so he’ll talk more.</p>
<p>My biggest concern, as others have said, is that he will choose to settle far away. However, he is planning on law school, at this point anyway. So, I think his law school location, if he does indeed go, will have more impact on where he settles. </p>
<p>When I was a student myself, I went to an undergrad state U pretty close to home, but went to graduate school far away on the East Coast, and ended up staying on the East Coast.</p>
<p>Funny how kids change when they go to away to college. </p>
<p>My son, the older child, kept talking about going to school in Austrailia, just to “get away”. Ended up going to a large state school about 3 hours drive away. For the first month he would hardly call and rarely text’d. My wife was threatening to either drive up there or call the police. </p>
<p>Then, after a month or so, he called and we weren’t home. He left a message on the home answering machine. Called again about an hour later, same thing, no one home. Called again and was really upset that we hadn’t answered the phone. He said he was concerned and was about to call the police to see what happened to us (we had gone to a movie).</p>
<p>We talked with him about staying in communication so none of us would have to worry. That was 4 years ago and he has always kept in touch, even if its just a quick text to say he’s OK.</p>
<p>My daughter left SoCal this fall for school in Massachusetts. She has always been the introvert and we were concerned about her. She texts almost every day and calls about 3 times a week. We use Skype with her about once a week. She has made so many new friends and is doing so much with them we are amazed. We also know she is in better touch with one of her girlfriends that is still in town, so we talk to her friend every once in while to get some “insider” info. </p>
<p>So you can’t say how it is going to turn out. For us, we have been fortunate that it has worked out so well.</p>
<p>I do dissagree that being 3 hours drive away is the same as being across country. Just knowing that you can get to your child with 3 hours and on your schedule is comforting. Having to make flight reservations, the trip to the airport, hassle of airport security, cramped plane rides, rental cars and finally driving to see your child IS a big deal. However, if your child is at the right school, making new friends, doing well in classes; it is worth it no matter how far away they are.</p>
<p>DD1 is two hours away by car while DD2 is 2000 miles away. DD1 was always more engaged with the family at home but at college she is an infrequent caller (probably her new family). DD2 was a major introvert in HS but now calls weekly and is voluble on the phone. We miss them both but are happy they have found their places and know we’ll keep in contact no matter where they decide to live.</p>
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<p>Priceless! What? You have lives?</p>