<p>Under the premise that the people on this forum know everything I thought I would ask this question. My mother-in-law (born and raised in Scotland but living in the US for over 50 years) would like to be cremated and have her ashes sent back to Scotland and scattered there. How can I get this accomplished? Any suggestions would be helpful (of course I am sure I will have to deal with a funeral director but thought any tips would be useful).</p>
<p>The easiest, least expensive way to get this done is to take the ashes in your suitcase and distribute them yourself. Not aware of laws in the UK, but you’re supposed to obtain a permit in most locales in the United States to legally distribute ashes. Anytime you involve a funeral director, the cost will increase.</p>
<p>My wife and her mother and siblings just flew to Scotland and scattered the ashes in an appropriately meaningful place. It’s like a plastic bag full of sand. Take some kind of scoop or whatever.</p>
<p>My father asked that his ashes be scattered in the ocean. His wife originally was thinking to get the funeral director to charter a boat, which just seemed senselessly complicated to me. We took my father’s ashes to the beach in front of the house where he lived for many years and threw them into the winds over the sand dunes and waves recalling a fun memory as we tossed each scoop up into the wind. It was a wonderful way to remember him and the famil memories at his beach house.</p>
<p>Were some kind of legal permits technically required for either of those endeavors? Beats me. I wasn’t about to start asking.</p>
<p>You could probably mail her over. This happened to my poor dad. He died at a university hospital an hour and a half from home. Unbeknownst to us, the funeral home had him cremated near there and had them mail his cremains back out to them. We were horrified.</p>
<p>Re legal permits: sounds to me like this is one of those situations where it’s easier to apologize than to ask permission.</p>
<p>kiddie - sorry for your loss, and how good of you to follow her wishes!</p>
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My wife’s family is doing something similar … and also chose to not check into any legal requirements.</p>
<p>PS - If I were flying with ashes I’d be sure to double or triple bag them … not something you want spilling.</p>
<p>I’m not aware of any municipality in the US which requires a permit to scatter ashes. The ashes pose no health threat to anyone - cremated ashes look just like coarse sand, and they contain nothing that would harm the environment or people. My family scattered our dad’s ashes in Lake Michigan recently, and according to our funeral director, this is something that most families handle as they wish and funeral directors and local officials do not get involved. We buried half of the ashes next to our mother, and scattered the other half. We were interested in this “permit” issue and found that it is more or less an urban legend, and not an actual ordinance in most locations, if anywhere.</p>
<p>Also, the best way to ship cremated ashes is via UPS - no special labeling, packaging or handling are required.</p>
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<p>If I recall, they were in a heavy plastic bag, which was inside a fancy decorative velveteen bag, which was inside a nice cardboard gift box. Not much of a spillage risk, but it would be easy enough to put the double bags in some kind of plastic storage container. If anything, it would be useful to pour them into a plastic container for scattering as the bag is a bit unwieldy if you have a group situation where each family member is scattering a scoopful.</p>
<p>I was surprised at how emotionally uplifting the experience was to see the ashes carried on the wind over a place my father (and our family) loved.</p>
<p>Actually, the only way you can ship ashes (which are considered human remains) is by US mail. FEDEX and other carriers will not accept them. We just had my mother’s ashes shipped across the country (one funeral home to another) and they packed the urn in a flat rate box. They told us that the US Postoffice is the only carrier that will take ashes because you cannot insure ashes.</p>
<p>I was told by a funeral director that permits were often required. We’d asked about distributing my brother’s ashes in a state park and he assured that we didn’t want the red tape. We went to the park as a family and had a very meaningful ceremony, sans permit. The suggestion of taking a scoop of some kind is a good one.</p>
<p>If out of the country, ship them or get all the legal documents to check them in your baggage. I have a friend who had to miss her flight to protect her dad’s cremains when they were questioned in her checked luggage.</p>
<p>While you are at it, please note that you can opt for direct cremation, which costs a fraction of the whole casket and embalming thing. My mother chose this route when my father died in 2010, and even in her very expensive part of the country, the cost was only about $1500, including provision of a number of original death certificates. (I son’t recall the exact figure.) This was handled by a funeral home that also provided traditional funerals. We liked the funeral director very much, and there wasn’t even a hint of pressure to opt for more elaborate arrangements. You can then have the memorial service of your choice at the place of your choice.</p>
<p>We had my dad’s ashes shipped via UPS last year. The post office is probably fine to use within the US, but I would not use them to ship ashes overseas.</p>
<p>We made a little ceremony of scattering my father’s ashes in his favorite brook in Vermont about a year after he passed away. If you can possibly swing it, I’d suggest that a few of you save the ashes until there’s a time you could all go to Scotland and scatter them together. Scotland is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to - well worth a visit.</p>
<p>This must be common in Scotland. Both my grandparents spent their lives there, were cremated, and scattered, my grandfather decades before this was common practice here. A plane ticket for you with note from the funeral home to accompany the cremains would be about all that I’d want. Just go, and hopefully will be a nice footpath by a loch or seashore, and you can scatter and remember.</p>
<p>It is possible to mail ashes from a cremation within the U. S. it is NOT so easy to do so when sending abroad. We asked a funeral director about this and he said it was a NO GO internationally…and agreed that we would have to hand carry these ourselves internationally. We opted for Hawaii, and the arrangements ere made by out local funeral director.</p>