<p>Robert E. Lee, in his infinite wisdom, has shown us that eating out is a very expensive habit. I cannot agree more. So, in the spirit of his insights into how we spend our own money, I’ve come up with a further list of activities that are of no use to the typical American and should therefore be frowned upon:</p>
<ul>
<li> Travelling. Why travel anymore? You can see the pictures of almost everything on earth from the comfort of your computer.<br></li>
<li> Bowling. Don’t you know that you can buy your own balls, pins, and hardwood and construct an alley yourself? It’s much cheaper, and this way you don’t have to worry about the quality of the lanes!</li>
<li> Movies. Movie theaters are overpriced. Big screens, great sound systems, and the social aspect are for chumps. Stay home and watch a DVD on your VHS player. Better yet, get out that Betamax you saved!</li>
<li> Internet. You can go to the library, can’t you?<br></li>
<li> Cable television. Just buy the series you enjoy on Beta later. Wait…they still sell Beta, right?</li>
<li> Concerts. It’s the same song on the vinyl, isn’t it? ISN’T IT?!</li>
<li> HDTV. HDTVs are awfully overpriced, and they don’t really do much for Beta.</li>
<li> Videogames. 'Nuff said.</li>
<li> More than one outfit for any occasion. 'Nuff said.</li>
</ul>
<p>See, with guys like me and Robert around, you’ll save yourself TONS of cash that you can use to umm…</p>
<p>EXCELLENT! UCLAri,it appears that you are truly taking an interest in saving money. I couldn’t agree more with you claims here. Cable tv, imo, is a costly and unnecessary habit. You would be surprised how many channels you can receive through a set of rabbit ears.</p>
<p>Internet, iffy. Personally, you can get internet access for pretty cheap, sometimes $5.00. For someone in business, internet is vital.</p>
<p>Everything else I agree upon. Keep up the good work!</p>
<p>Movies. Movie theaters are overpriced. Big screens, great sound systems, and the social aspect are for chumps. Stay home and watch a DVD on your VHS player.</p>
<p>Nah, DVD players are dirt cheap. I saw one for sale for $29.99. Movies at the movie theatre are way overpriced though. No way am I going to pay $6.00 a ticket. Netflix for $9.99 all the way!</p>
<p>LOL, Don’t forget that you can use patches on those pants with holes in them. Better yet, just wear clothes with holes, and stains that you cannot get out. It is cheaper than buying a new wardrobe. </p>
<p>Don’t forget to find new uses for the little pieces of soap after using most of the bar of soap.</p>
<p>Wear slacks rather than dresses, that way you won’t need to agonize over buying more pantyhose because of the runs and snags in old stockings.</p>
<p>Why use a new tea bag for the second cup? Reuse the same bag of tea a second time. </p>
<p>Don’t purchase luggage. You can shove all of your belongings into plastic bags, or the free paper bags from the grocery store. Cheaper yet, stay home and you won’t need to pack at all.</p>
<p>There are many more exciting money saving tips like these that will make life more enjoyable.</p>
<p>Luggage is overpriced and not really useful in most situations. Good point. If you’re really concerned about plastic bags breaking, just buy some burlap and zippers and make your own duffle bags. </p>
<p>But, you could just grow and treat your own hemp to make your own burlap…</p>
<p>Oh, and you wouldn’t have to pay for a wedding because they really only just need to go to court and get a marriage certificate. You’d save SO much money!</p>
<p>Assuming that Robert E. Lee has an average job, the savings should provide piece of mind in retirement. Just remember that you cannot take it with you. Oh, and in those golden years, the retirement home will be very happy to have the thrifty couple reside with them They will be laughing all the way to the bank, but a couple of years later, the couple’s bank accounts will be wiped out.</p>
<p>Oh, and just think about it, in those golden years at the retirement home, you can have all of the culinary delights that you missed when you ate all meals at home. Finally, someone will be cooking for you–even pasta dishes!</p>
<ul>
<li> Central heating. Eskimos lived without it. Why can’t you?</li>
<li> Central air. Our ancestors never had it.</li>
<li> Washing machine. You have two hands and a sink, don’t you?</li>
<li> Dryer. Ever heard of a clothesline?</li>
<li> Dry cleaning. You won’t even have clothes that need dry cleaning. Trust me.</li>
<li> Color television. What, you need colors to enjoy your shows?</li>
<li> Pets. You want to see animals? Go feed a squirrel.</li>
</ul>
<p>It is cheaper not to get married. You won’t need to worry about hiring an expensive divorce attorney after your wife decides that she is miserable, freezing in the winters, dying of heat in the summer from lack of A/C and heat, and just dealing with the tightwad lifestyle. It is cheaper not to worry about splitting up your accrued assets.</p>
They will be laughing all the way to the bank, but a couple of years later, the couple’s bank accounts will be wiped out.</p>