Presumably, you have known genetics / family history that set the baseline for your health luck. However, it is also well known that eating and exercise and other habits make a big difference in probabilities of life span and health span, even though there is no guarantee of a particular health outcome, good or bad.
But what makes some people assume the worst (e.g. that poor health and mobility are “inevitable”) versus the best (that future health and mobility are almost fully controllable)?
I think that as with anything, one’s experiences influence their thoughts on the matter. Were your parents jogging until the day before they died peacefully in their sleep? You might assume full mobility is likely. Were your parents sidelined by mobility issues, in their 60’s, 70’s, 80’s or beyond? You might have an idea of what can happen.
LOL, you need to read my recent post on that thread.
But I have to protest - the idea that poor health and mobility are inevitable is NOT assuming the worst. It’s an idea that is formed by personal life experiences - of your own family or those around you. It is not worst. It is often supported by FACTS.
In fact I would argue if you want to use the words “worse” and “best” - to me, those who are prepared for health at some time to falter ARE preparing the “best”.
We’ve seen both extremes in my family. Grandparents who never learned to drive who walked miles every day until they were in their 90s, to a parent with heart issues who was impaired in his early 50s, and everything in between.
Everyone ended up having to move eventually except the two family members who died without warning.
I’m still in my early 50s, take good care of myself to avoid the cardiac issues that befell my father, and I’m not making housing decisions for something 20 or 30 years in the future. Having moved a dozen times, another move or two doesn’t bother me. If something happens sooner rather than later, we’ll deal with it.
It’s quite simple, most humans do not have the level of dedication and commitment to the PROPER diet and the PROPER exercise.
Heart disease, strokes, Type 2 diabetes, etc. are more likely to be preventable, but people don’t have the wherewithal.
And as for accidents, in or outside the home, some, many are preventable if people would focus on breathing, stability and grip strength, which is what the book Outlive discusses.
My dad would ask if he could join our family ski trip and be the one who closed the lifts each day. He got a cancer diagnosis and died within 8 months. So no, mobility was never an issue.
His mom would climb trees with a saw to remove the dead limbs well into her 80s. Yet ended up in a wheelchair toward the end of that decade. Her daughter, otoh, is approaching 100 with all but her mind quite strong.
My mom bought a 1 story home and was sure she’d just go to sleep one night and not wake up. I bought a walker for her at 88 (much needed) when she sold said house and moved to a senior community, and with CC help, am now encouraging an electric wheelchair purchase. She is discovering there’s something between being 100% and being dead. Previously unfathomable.
I think it’s important to think about the possibilities. An older friend said we either rust or wear out. Personally, I’m working on the wearing out approach and hoping that genetics and lifestyle will give me a lot of runway, but it’s not really in our control. I have friends who are already greatly dimished in their 60s -
accidents and excessive wear. Makes me extremely grateful for good health now.
This will be an interesting thread, and I want to throw a caution flag that it is very easy to take each other’s opinions as judgement.
My dad was eating what we would now call a Mediterranean diet as early as his 40’s. He lived an active, physically fit, healthy weight life. He had plenty of friends, intellectual engagement, happy long marriage. Outlived his first pacemaker, and his heart would not be the problem that felled him.
Anyway, when @sushiritto talked about their pov,(on the other thread) I realize now I took it badly, as somehow blaming my dad for not taking better care of himself and that’s why he died seven months ago. That’s not a rational reaction so y’all be kind to one another here.
Dad died at 88. And had he not done those things, maybe we’d have lost him sooner. Maybe not. It went downhill over maybe 16 months, and there was no way to stop it. So, I think it’s good to expect the best and plan for the worst.
My mother died of thyroid cancer at age 74. Her health had been terrible for decades. She was a life-long heavy smoker, never exercised, and ate terribly, due to IBS. (She was told to avoid fruits, veggies, seeds, and anything else with any redeeming nutritional value.) She was told she had “a touch” of emphysema. To me, that’s like being “a little bit pregnant.”
My father, OTOH, was until the very end taking his daily constitutionals to the post office and back, flirting with the postmistress to get his Barrons a few hours early, and chatting with my sister and me every week. At age 89, he one day had terrible angina and a massive heart attack, and he died within 48 hours of those events.
So I’ve seen that how you live your life can make a huge difference in your longevity. Of course, I do worry about surprise events like pancreatic cancer, but I know (sort of --) that I can’t control everything.
Yes, I am an example that life can be humbling. My grandparents lived into their late 80s, 90s, and early 100s. My mother is 90 and in good health (made it through a bout of covid). Both my mother and brother had knee replacements, so I had one in late October. My body produced too much scar tissue (arthrofibrosis) and now I can barely walk. We will probably have to sell our two story home. I quit my golf league and there will be no European trip this summer. After struggling to find handicapped parking spots, I’m thinking this could be my new calling. In the past, I would have said there were too many.
I can relate. My mom was super healthy - also ate a Mediterranean diet, exercised vigorously daily, was fit and trim, etc…started having symptoms of Alzheimers in her late 50s. Officially diagnosed in her early 60s, died at 78. The last 10 years of her life were fraught with caregiving difficulties and the last few years of her life were in a memory care unit. Both her parents lived into their 90s.
My MIL, also super healthy and fit, died in her early 60s from cancer. Her mother lived until her mid 90s.
IMO, there really is no way to predict. I just hope that I stay realistic as I age.
I think it’s as simple as having a “glass half full” vs a “glass half empty” mentality.
I am an optimist, almost to a fault. I think a lot of my health is in my control. My sister is a pessimist. She believes that so much of her health is genetics so, oh well, and doesn’t have much control over what happens and has had a whole series of surgeries that, if I were her, I’d have worked harder to avoid. She was diagnosed with cirrhosis recently. We have the same parents. Dad died at 91 after a pretty quick decline due to pancreatic cancer. Mom will be 92 next month. I don’t think my sister will make it out of her 80s. I am planning to live into my 90s, because I exercise and eat (mostly) healthy.
ETA: Dad was a sharecropper and mom was a migrant worker so they grew up with lots of forced exercise. And they maintained that physical lifestyle as long as they could.
My parents died in their early 60’s from non-natural causes. No health issues had manifested themselves by that point in their lives. I have very little extended family. Not everyone has reams of family history (or much of any) from which to draw.
I am not relying upon just family history, optimistic outlook, or my current state of health. There is a plethora of data about lifetime risks of dementia, mobility issues etc, by age and gender. While I hope to beat the odds, so to speak, I know I can’t count on it.
My parents were polar opposites. Dad: extrovert, lots of friends and social activities, loved to golf, walk, work out at the gym. He ate a Mediterranean diet and was very self disciplined, he was also blessed with good health. Mom: introvert who became more so as she aged, hated all sorts of physical activity, big sweet tooth, loved eating junk, sickly since she was a child. Both lived until their mid 80’s but Dad had a very good quality of life until the last few months. Mom had dementia.
I resemble my dad in my own health habits. I am trying to increase the odds that I will have a good quality of life as I age.
I do not believe that genetics rule over all. For example my beloved paternal grandmother passed away from a sudden heart attack at age 70 . This was back in the 1970’s (I was in college) and at that time heart attack victims were assumed to be men and not slender, nonsmoking women. I really doubt she had ever been screened for risk factors and think her medical care would be different if this had happened today.
Of course, those at age 85+ do exhibit a survivorship bias – the least healthy people who were more likely to have ADL or IADL disabilities are most likely to have died before reaching age 85.
My parents were just plain born with good genes. My dad made it to 99, my mom (even with cancer) made it to 93. My aunts are 97 and 95. And they were all pretty mobile for an extremely long time. But the real point of the “house” thread is that they were all in one story homes which allowed them to remain there without having to move. Even when health failed at some point they didn’t require a move and could stay in their homes.
People are notoriously bad at assessing risks, particularly to themselves. No one on their wedding day thinks they will be among the 40%which divorce, but clearly many will. Preparation is a useful thing.
80% of men wont reach 85, nor will most women.
Maybe you will get lucky.
When he was younger, my FIL was heavyset and smoked (and he was a doctor!). He had two heart attacks, one in his 40s and one in his 50s. Then he developed diabetes. He died in his sleep at 73.
EVERY time he visited us, he drilled into DH that watching his weight and exercising were imperative for him, due to his genetics. I’m sure he told DH’s brother that, too. DH has taken those lectures to heart. He’s at a perfect weight and runs about 3 miles 6 or 7 days a week. People are shocked when I tell them that he turns 70 this week - you would never guess.
His brother is six years younger and seems not to have listened to my FIL. He is very overweight and doesn’t live a healthy lifestyle. It will be interesting to see how the two brothers do. I am thankful DH is taking care of himself - I have a hard time keeping up with him!
I hope to live in a two-story house as long as possible. I really do think that going up and down stairs frequently has to be good for you. Yes, something terrible could happen, but we love our house and will stay here for awhile.
