@Marian, thank you for your post. It’s timely. My two younger kids have been driving me nuts this past week, googling what they’re going through (wisdom teeth removal and ear pain). They’re both convinced every terrible thing is going to happen. My daughter was so anxious that we called the oral surgeon’s office and they said what she’d read was flat untrue. I’m going to copy and paste your post and email it to both of them!
Seconding the recommendation for MedlinePlus!
This definitely sounds like anxiety. With a little bit of OCD perhaps (the obsessive thoughts) All sides of the same coin IMHO though. Ruminating is a classic sign of anxiety and even though in your rational mind, you know it’s not helpful, the anxiety keeps it going on a loop in your head.
One of the definitions of anxiety is the “fear of loss of control.” You clearly have no control over your husband’s health and test results, so I can see how the anxiety kicks in as your body attempts to grapple with securing some type of “control” even if that is impossible.
I would read up on CBT and look for a therapist who can help you “retrain” your dysfunctional automatic thoughts.
Many people have suggested things like not googling, or asking the doctor questions etc and those things can’t hurt. But IMHO you really have to learn to redirect the dysfunction/not helpful lines of thought in your head. A good CBT therapist, or even a good CBT workbook can help you do that.
a second opinion can also be helpful
I can totally understand this. Whenever I google health issues, it makes me anxious. The reddits are particularly bad - if you believe what you read on these sites you would think that nobody has ever gotten healthy and no doctor has ever been correct.
I have had bad years where I was anxious due to family members’ health issues. It is especially hard with a child not living at home where you don’t see them on a daily basis to really judge their condition.
Things that have helped are venting (like here on CC), talking to friends who are nurses (they have a good perspective), doing the usual calming things (yoga, etc.), and keeping the other things in my life simple. (I once quit a part-time job when the stress of family health issues and some other things were getting to me - today I think my stress level would go up if I didn’t have a job).
Menopause is no fun either and probably adds to the stress. No advice there, except to say that for me at least - the hot flashes eventually stopped!
Good info about the internet @Marian. I know there is a lot of misinformation out there, but it is good to be reminded of the extent of it.
CBT definitely sounds like it could help. I like the idea of a CBT workbook in the interim - I will start researching that.
All I know is when going through menopause my brain was racing so much I thought I was going nuts!
I can’t imagine getting a second opinion. That’s an unecessary expense. Doesn’t sound like that’s the problem.
I was told I should ‘consider’ eye surgery for my 4 month old son. Hmmm consider it? WTH? Why do it if not necessary. I went to a second doctor who said ‘you have no choice, if you don’t do the surgery he will go blind and first doctor is the expert’. Money well spent.
When something invasive is planned or if the health situation does not seem the way it is expected, I think a second opinion is well worth the extra time and money. Sometimes the 2nd provider may offer new suggestions and additional insight or may just confirm the 1st MD. Either way, it can ease medical anxiety and is definitely a reasonable course of action IMO.