Hi all - hoping the experienced, knowledgeable posters of the CC Cafe will have some helpful advice for me!
I have always been a little bit of a health worrier. But, after S2 had a variety of medical issues in college, I feel like it has really escalated to an unhealthy level. I am also now menopausal and I think that may also be a contributing factor.
Let me give you an example: My H had an upper endoscopy last week for some abdominal discomfort. When they called me back the doctor said “we found lots of things, nothing to worry about though” and then proceeded to tell me the findings and explain the meds he will need to take (prescription Pepcid). But, there was one finding that wasn’t a common one because he said “we don’t see this often, we do see it, just not often”. That was enough to trigger me into the anxiety I feel now.
Although he clearly said “nothing to worry about”, that is ALL I have been doing. I am reading and re-reading the post-procedure report, googling, freaking out about the pending pathology report, etc. I am clearly obsessing. Intellectually, I understand my thought process isn’t healthy but I can’t stop it. Most people would focus on the “nothing to worry about” part but I can’t do that. I would like to believe that a doctor wouldn’t tell you not to worry if they saw something even slightly suspicious, but that still doesn’t stop me from ruminating and feeling so anxious and upset.
I often feel like I have a form of PTSD. S2 had a particularly scary/unusual health scare 5 years ago which is something he will need monitored his entire life. It was a very upsetting process. I guess I would describe my anxiety as “situational” as it only surfaces in connection to health issues. In all other aspects of life, I do handle things in a reasonable way.
Any words of wisdom for me? Experiences with this type of anxiety and what worked? I have never had therapy or been on anxiety meds but feel like I may need one or both when I feel like this.
Putting this into words actually makes me feel a little better so thank you for that!
I can suggest a book that might give you some insight into anxiety in general, and health anxiety in particular. It’s called On Edge by Andrea Petersen.
Therapy! I started therapy to help me deal with 1- all the health problems I’m actually having and 2- all of the incidental findings that occur because of all of my health problems & testing. It’s been a godsend.
ETA: I have battled anxiety (and depression) for most of my life and usually meds are enough. For this, they weren’t.
The googling part is very normal and in fact useful. Our family has enough trouble over the years with medical mistakes and misdiagnoses. I learned to find out anything I can and ask a lot of questions. That doesn’t mean not to trust doctors, but empowering yourself with knowledge instead of hanging on doctor’s words is a good way to relieve anxiety for me.
^^But you have to be able to take that googling with a grain of salt - which OP seems to be having trouble doing.
OP, could you request to talk again to the doc and make a list of additional questions you might have? The thing with google is that the info and stories you read may not mimic your husbands circumstances. So may not be appropriate.
Right, I do need to add that if your symptoms can happen as a result of cancer or other scary problem this doesn’t say every little ache or fatigue means you have cancer!
It is tempting, but don’t read the blogs. They have every worst possible scenario and seem to include none of the 99;99% who are fine. If you are uncomfortable go back with your H to the doctor and get a more complete understanding of the issues, treatment plan etc.
It sounds to me like the problem here is anxiety: you feel anxious, even though your rational brain says you should not be anxious. I suggest seeing a medical professional about the anxiety. Therapy and/or medication could help.
Lots of people suggesting therapy, which is a great idea. My daughter would also recommend downloading the Calm app and playing with it, there are quite a lot of soothing options, she reports, particularly if you’re having trouble falling asleep.
Why is the doctor giving you results, and not your husband?
What is the unusual finding you mentioned? I personally feel I cannot comment on anxiety versus healthy worry without that info.
Pepcid is good for hearburn/GERD . Zantac for GERD or ulcers. Both are available over the counter.
I experienced an increase in acid production on Zantac as my body compensated for the drug’s reduction of acid production. I didn’t find this out until I tried to stop. I had a withdrawal period where symptoms were 10 times worse than my original problem. I tapered down slowly, breaking pills in half then quarters. This may or may not happen to others but I do know it is common.
Refraining from eating after 5pm, staying upright after meals, and watching what I eat has helped a lot.
My family has some serious health problems. Chances are when you DO deal with serious ones, you will handle them fine
I have been very healthy my entire life, but I do suffer from anxiety. So when my kid got sick last year (she had also been healthy, and felt that her body “betrayed” her), my anxiety went into overdrive. Every time a family member mentioned an unusual symptom, even if it was minor, my mind would do the death spiral. I sought therapy, which was very helpful. My new mantra is “he/she isn’t really sick, I’m just crazy.” It helps.
Sometimes there are flashbacks. I happened across a picture of my daughter’s dorm from last year, and I felt nauseous for a moment. But I realized what was happening and talked myself out of it. Anxiety itself is sick-making.
@dwhite - hi and sorry you are having this issue. I would focus on the menopause-anxiety link. I find that I get very “stuck” and anxious on minor issues at times - even when logically I know it is not a big deal. It is very frustrating. I am trying to manage with exercise, which helps somewhat. Talking about it helps too, even to hear that you are not crazy. I have a same age co-worker experiencing the same thing and just to be able to share some of it with her, without someone trying to minimize it or tell me I am being ridiculous is very helpful. Anyway, sharing here is a great first step. Obviously health issues are not minor, but the menopause-anxiety worrying in circles thing can impact both major and minor topics.
Thank you all for responding! It is comforting to talk about and know I am not alone in my over-thinking. I can very much relate to @Massmomm post about “flashbacks”. I had to change S2’s ringtone after all his medical stuff because my stomach would lurch every time he called after all that.
I will start to look for a good therapist - it is time. @compmom - He went over the findings with both of us after the procedure because H was still woozy from the anesthesia. I was not just me.
@doschicos - I would absolutely push for a second opinion if needed. Currently, there isn’t a need for one.
Some CBT strategies and some medicine can be a big help for overthinking, as well as having the doctor give your husband’s results directly to your husband.
I just went through the scope & colonscopy crap (no pun intended) a few weeks ago. I would not recommend getting results by yourself especially if you have just come out from anesthesia. I barely remember my doctor talking to me after the procedure but luckily I had a family member with me.
Plus, it’s just always helpful to have two people listening when a doc is saying something important.
If you have not experienced this type of anxiety before, I would seriously consider the menopause angle. I developed some new anxiety when I went through the changes. I am not an anxious person (except for a crippling fear of snow and ice) but during menopause, I became nervous about things that never bothered me before. I tried acupuncture for my hot flashes and found that it also helped with the anxiety. I had about 6 sessions.
I write public education materials for a health-related government agency (as a contractor – and we won’t get into the effects of the government shutdown on my life because that’s off topic).
There’s so much incorrect health information online that it’s amazing that the Internet doesn’t collapse under its weight.
If you must search online for information on a health topic (and I know you must – I do it too), you can greatly increase the facts-to-nonsense ratio by NOT GOOGLING. Instead, go to the site of an organization you trust and search within that site.
The best place to start for most health topics is MedlinePlus https://medlineplus.gov, which is maintained by the National Library of Medicine. It’s a curated collection of health resources that can serve as at least a starting point on most topics. Then, after that, you might go to the Web sites of relevant trustworthy organizations (like the American Heart Association or the American Cancer Society) or professional associations (like the American Academy of Pediatrics). They have their agendas, but they don’t spew out nonsense.
