In case, heaven forbid, of serious accident, is it a good idea for parents to have this or is parental status as ‘next of kin’ sufficient?
My D is turning 18 and heading to college next month so it got me thinking. . .
YES!!! Please read this: https://www.wsj.com/articles/documents-you-need-when-a-child-turns-18-1511972303 and this https://www.consumerreports.org/health/help-your-college-age-child-in-a-medical-emergency/.
I believe that a health directive is important for everyone at any age. Our son is 21 and has a HCPOW, living will, life insurance, and funeral arrangement plans. The military requires this but going through the process of making these adult decisions starts important discussions about what a person wants if (yes, heaven forbid) tragedy strikes. You will have enough to deal with then without wondering about what your child/parent/spouse would want. These documents spell out the answers in advance and take at least that burden from your shoulders during a time of stress.
You may be your child’s “next of kin” and, in the case of a serious accident or health emergency where your child cannot make critical care decisions, you would be the natural decision-making party but, at 18, the law may not agree. Talking to your daughter about what she would want in advance just makes good sense. Putting those decisions in writing may save you or someone else grief in the future. What if you die before something serious happens to your daughter; who would she want making decisions then? If you don’t have a HCPOW, now would be a good time to do them together. It’s not very expensive and is money well spent, IMO. If you do have one, then you have already given a gift to your child. You could start by talking about the fact that you have one, going over what’s in it, and asking her what her decisions would be for all the conditions listed in your HCPOW. I know that, as a military mom, I think of these things differently and perhaps many here would say that 18 is young, but I’m going to encourage you to have this discussion with your daughter. She is a legal adult now and it’s not too early for her to start making legal decisions or at least thinking carefully about them.
ETA: The links in @Bubblewrap666’s post above are excellent and emphasize that an 18-year-old is a legal adult and parents do not have the decision-making rights they may think they have.
If there is any chance your child would like you to be able to make health-care appointments for her with her local providers once she turns 18, I suggest asking her to make the arrangements with the clinic(s). She will probably need to sign paperwork to give permission for that.
We didn’t have them, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t a good idea.
Medical people often misunderstand the scope, and that can be in your favor. If you have one, the professionals may be more willing to discuss things with you even if it isn’t an emergency! They shouldn’t but they do.
In an emergency, ‘they’ (doctors, hospital,etc) are going to treat your child. They may or may not discuss anything with you. It might be a good idea to also have your kids ‘waive’ you with the insurance company too. Mine have done that and then I can discuss appts and billing and all those things my kids have zero interest in discussing.
My daughter includes my husband and I on a release form every time she goes to a new doctor. She is now 24 and has been doing this since she turned 18. I have found doctors, dentists, PT, etc., all very cooperative in speaking with me about my daughter’s health. We did have her sign a generic HIPAA release form when she first went off to college, they typically have a one year expiration date, but never used it. Medical offices prefer you to use their form. Note, my husband and I do the same thing each time we see a new medical professional - sign permission for each other.
One of my kids had a serious accident and was in a coma for a week or so. My kid had a proxy filed with the PCP but no one ever asked for it. However, my kid has type 1 diabetes and never wrote a note saying I needed to manage blood sugars if she was not able to. For anyone dealing with type 1, make sure your kid does this. Watching ICU staff, including docs, struggle to manage it was a nightmare. They have no training in it.
I had my attorney draw up three documents: Financial POA, Healthcare POA and a Living Will for my daughter, with me (and secondarily my husband) able to act for her.
He told me those three things, especially the Healthcare POA, would be enough to get through the HIPAA fortress.
Thanks everyone – this is very helpful info!! I think at least for the student health services at the college my D did sign something giving me access to her info. But I still will go down the path of getting things in order with these docs.
All of us (me, DH, D1 and D2) have wills and all of the legal stuff associated with POA and living wills, organ donation wishes, directives to physicians, etc. done. We were doing extensive estate planning and just decided to go ahead and pay for the Ds to legalize their wishes. It’s a huge relief to have it in writing and legally binding.
And yes, GOD FORBID we ever need to use them.
That’s just TV stuff (unless your child is a minor). As the Consumer Reports article linked above says, once your kid is 18, he is a legal a stranger to you. Now, some hospitals may choose not to be so strict and just use their judgment. But they are not required to give you any info at all if your kid has not signed a HIPAA release of a medical POA.
^^^ And that’s why I have the forms.
My daughter will sign when/where she can. If she can’t for some reason because she is incapacitated, I wanted something to waive in front of someone.
Another good point mentioned above is getting permission through your insurance. Even though she has her own online account now (that I have the password to) I am now authorized through the insurance’s own system to act on her behalf to ask questions about deductibles, etc.
The biggest hurdle isn’t the forms, but making sure providers know about the forms. They’re not something your child is likely to
For those sending their children away before the 18th birthday, if there is ANY family history of mental illness, be aware that the age of content for psychiatric care is 16 or even lower in most states. Not only do they not need your consent, but they can block your access to information (and might do so, even against their own best interests if paranoia is one of the symptoms). If they don’t list you as someone they want contacted, you won’t be contacted. Make sure someone on campus, who is likely to be aware of an emergency knows about it, and can call you. And if possible scan a copy an email it to yourself, or otherwise store it in the cloud. That way it’s easy to forward to someone, or to access on you phone if you travel and forget to print a copy. (Things I learned dealing with parents with dementia).
My son had a copy of his forms in the health office at school. Had it become necessary, you can bet your life I would have reminded someone that they were there.
It varies by state. In several states, minors can consent to outpatient treatment starting at age 12. In some states the minor MUST consent, even if the parent requests treatment for the minor. In some states, young adolescents (age varies by state) can consent to outpatient mental health treatment, but not inpatient. In some states, young adolescents can consent to substance abuse treatment but not “mental health” treatment.
Kerwin, M. L. E., Kirby, K. C., Speziali, D., Duggan, M., Mellitz, C., Versek, B., & McNamara, A. (2015). What can parents do? A review of state laws regarding decision making for adolescent drug abuse and mental health treatment. Journal of Child and Adolescent Substance Abuse, 24(3), 166-176.
You should also know that in most/many states a minor can consent at age 13 for contraception and STD treatment.
Edited to add: Also, be aware that your legal-age child can write in exclusions on the HIPAA release or medical POA. So, they can name you as an agent or allow release of info to you, but exclude, say, mental health or sexual health.
If you go to the Forum Home and search for “power of attorney,” you will find a number of prior threads on the topic.