<p>The original post utterly dismayed me.</p>
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Was it the mom who was going to go to college or the D?</p>
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See above.</p>
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<p>It’s all about mom, isn’t it?<br>
Sign me, totally unsympathetic to mom but very sad for D. Well, someone has to be!</p>
<p>Where does your daughter want to go to college?</p>
<p>I’m feeling the hand of DadII here. New poster, subject sure to bring out CC emotions…■■■■■?</p>
<p>Has an unCC sentiment ever been better articulated:</p>
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<p>GWU is probably not worth that kind of money, though Georgetown might have been, for that major. Regardless, her current option is very good, and she has all kinds of choices. Your willingness to support her in graduate school, and your ability to do so with this choice, is a terrific trade-off.</p>
<p>However, you must let go, let her make the decisions, sign off on the documents. Otherwise, it will come back to haunt you…she must take ownership in this. Take a vow, and plan on coming here for support, no more involvement in her academic decisions…repeat after me…no more.</p>
<p>She decided upon GWU because she likes the campus, but that’s all the interests she showed. It was like pulling teeth to find out her interest and we were running out of time on getting the applications in on time, as I stated earlier, we chose the colleges based on her interested in International Affairs, that interest only came about because I continue to drill and drill and we looked at so many different colleges until she decided the D.C area would be a good place to start (I was in the background pushing it along). I should have backed up and let her make “all the mistakes” we as parents do no want our children to make. Attending the in-state college will give her a chance to mature, make decisions on her own and be what “she wants to be”, not what I am “trying to make her”. I don’t look at this as being a failure on our part, she is still getting an education and still has the opportunity to attend an Ivy League for her graduate work if “she” so desires.</p>
<p>With the list of schools where your D got accepted, she will still have options to transfer at a later date.</p>
<p>At least at the college my S attends, the selection of majors start the soph year. After your D’s freshman year she may have a better idea of her major. If the state u (U of S. Carolina?) doesn’t have what she wants/needs there is the transfer option. </p>
<p>BTW–I transfered after my sophmore year. I look back and it was really a good thing. I basically chose the 2nd school based on the strength of the program in my major.</p>
<p>I suggest that you consider what you are providing your D and focus on the positives.</p>
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Ouch but my feeling exactly.</p>
<p>Plus, there is always grad school!! Esp if she does super well in undergrad, plus she’ll be more mature and focused in her career. </p>
<p>I, personally, feel that there is no point in beating yourself up for something that cannot be rectified (even if you were too controlling – what you do now but learn from it? Nothing.).</p>
<p>I am starting now. We will learn from this experience, mom has backed off, no more decision makings for “my baby girl”. Thanks</p>
<p>In What state is this instate school in? (As Paul McCartney would say) </p>
<p>Many kids, like yours need encouragement and hand holding so I won’t criticize you for giving your child guidance. Family finances change over time also, so I think it is perfectly fine to reweight the value of attending expensive private vs cheaper instate. The big accomplishment is getting accepted to Brown; no need to actually attend. For the rest of her life she (and you) can say, “Oh, I got accepted to Brown but it just didn’t make sense financially to go there when U of State has so much to offer and I am soooo happy here.”</p>
<p>GW, one of the most expensive schools in the country and highly overrated in my opinion as a former resident of Washington D.C.</p>
<p>Quote:</p>
<p>She decided upon GWU because she likes the campus, but that’s all the interests she showed. It was like pulling teeth to find out her interest.</p>
<p>I’m not surprised. Have you ever stopped forcing your own ideas on her long enough for her to figure out what she thinks? The best thing for your daughter will be for her to get away from you.</p>
<p>The in-state school is the University of South Carolina</p>
<p>And I agree, this way she can be her own individual, but like most parents you want the best for your child, can’t punish me for this. Don’t worry this mom has backed off - she is a brilliant young lady and she will do well.</p>
<p>personally, I think some of the posters here are being a bit too harsh on the OP.
Did she meddle too much? Raise hopes and then change her mind? Yes. Mistakes for sure.
But some kids are just darn hard to get moving. They have no idea what they want and very little passion to explore - and it’s very common for parents to then try to do everything they can to get things jump started.
If this girl got into Brown, she has some smarts, but it doesn’t mean she’s focused or that she knows what she wants. The state U is a good place for her to figure that out and mature a bit - outside of the influence of mom. She is very fortunate…no reason to be heartbroken.</p>
<p>Why couldn’t she graduate from GW in FOUR years? Obviously, if she got into Brown, she must’ve earned a fine merit scholarship to GW. Are the privates worth it at a heavily discounted price? Absolutely!</p>
<p>I agree with CardinalFang. Yes, its your money, but you should have made your stipulations clear up front. YOU WILL DO AS I SAY FOR FOUR YEARS, OR STAY CLOSE TO HOME!</p>
<p>Thank you all for the positive remarks, I have been trying to turn the “negative” into a “positive”.</p>
<p>Yes, I was probably being too harsh.</p>
<p>No, I would love my daughter to have a mind of her own, this is why I decided on the in state University, believe me, mom would only visit if she wants. I am not the snoopy type, just the sheltering type. She knows I have backed off and she agrees, she would prefer not to spend the money during her undergraduate work, but use it during her graduate work.</p>
<p>Oh no Pea, your comments were all “Positive” thanks</p>
<p>I’m puzzled. If D wasn’t at all sure where she wanted to go to college or what she wanted to major in–how did she write the wonderful essays necessary to show her “passion” for that field and those schools? Getting those great acceptances, I’d think she had to really make a forceful and believable case on why Brown? or even why IR? Or did mom help with that aspect of the application, too?</p>
<p>In any event, mom needs to let her D go her own course. Of the colleges listed, Brown does seem like a perfect environment to try out new majors and be surrounded by great students and professors who might spark a new interest. Too late for that, but even this thread seems a little late to help much.</p>