Heartbreaking Story Of 17 Year Old Suicide Over Ivy League Denial

Applying to College
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<p>This is a heartbreaking story and certainly an extreme example as to how carried away we can all get with the whole college craziness. I hope we can all read this and remind us keep this process in perspective, tragically this young mans life was cut short by his seemingly irreversible “failure at not getting into his ivy league choice” we all know he would have gone on to be a productive member of society and would have thrived no matter where he went to college as millions and millions do every year. This really made me feel sad because I know there are so many who go into a deep depression when things don’t happen as they planned. My heart goes out to his family and friends mourning his death.</p>

<p><a href=“http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=local&id=5016481[/url]”>http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=local&id=5016481&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>woa!..(10 chart)</p>

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<p>K- this is going to sound a bit harsh- but often suicides are because people are so afraid they disapointed others- their parents, their friends, etc- I am NOT blaming the family or friends, but bringing up the mindset of a young person- they feel awful and embarassed if they did live up to what others anticipated, and then having to tell people…</p>

<p>As a community, we put the pressure and expectations on and must hold some responsiblity in that respect</p>

<p>WE feed the frenzy, WE have the expectations, WE need to tell our kids that no matter what, wherever they go, it is a GOOD THING</p>

<p>It is more than this child being disappointed in himself, it is his fear of disappointing everyone else and his shame of hurting others inwhat he perceives as his failure to live up to his own and everybody elses goals</p>

<p>I am NOT blaming anyone, but this is a societal issue and this time of year is ESPECIALLY dangerous with regards to suicides amoung teens</p>

<p>you have valentines day, school after the holidays, college admissions, etc…</p>

<p>So, WE all need to work to great environments where not getting into the school everyone expected is OKAY, not where the child feels there is no reason to live</p>

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<p>I NEVER ask any senior student about college, unless they bring it up…because if they did not get into a school they had so wanted to go to, having to explain that to ME is just unfair</p>

<p>Talk about other stuff you know is going well…they are very sensitive right now, and have enough pressure without well meaning people asking questions they aren’t ready to answer yet</p>

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<p>We can all take a moment to pause and reflect-and send thoughts of love to the grieving family and friends.
This forum gives us all a chance to learn something we did not know before, or to take moments and think about what we want for our future.</p>

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<p>I also want to point out that it is only a guess that the boy committed suicide because he was denied admission to his top choice school. My guess is there were other issues involved. Depression is a very nasty disease that often goes unrecognized. We don’t have enough information to know what caused this boy to take his own life.</p>

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<p>The linked report is quite different from the news article in today’s New York Times. (I don’t know how to do “links” so anyone wanting to read it should go to <a href=“http://www.nytimes.com)%5B/url%5D”>www.nytimes.com)</a>. </p>

<p>Personally, the conclusion drawn by the linked article doesn’t pass my ‘smell test’ - why would a student commit suicide the first week of February over an ivy league denial? Anyone as steeped in college admissions as most of us are knows letters are sent out in December and April. If he was denied anywhere, he would have learned that back in December. </p>

<p>I’m sure there are numerous reasons for teen suicide and this is a tragedy. I don’t believe there’s proof that an ivy denial is the cause.</p>

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<p>APOL…nicely stated</p>

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<p>I live 20 min from where this happened and have friends who go to the kid’s school who told me what REALLY happened. </p>

<p>it’s NOT because he got rejected from a college. He didn’t do early decision to any schools and most regular decisions aren’t out yet.</p>

<p>it’s NOT because of his family or the community; family and friends have the right to keep these things private.</p>

<p>Don’t assume from other speculative reports like ABC who say there are such reports. It’s because the news agencies tried to get the story out quick and came up with their own bs scenario</p>

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<p>What a bunch of bull! Anyone who thinks a child killed himself over not getting into an Ivy League school is just sensationalizing for newsworthiness; this child had serious mental issues that would have lead to a similiar ending with or without the existence of the Ivy school. Sorry if this seems harsh but a healthy child does not react this way to a setback. Can you imagine what might have happened if the student got a “B” grade? Would the news sources be blaming the teacher?</p>

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<p>Newark Star-Ledger article said he HAD been admitted to an Ivy. It is an awful story whatever “really” happened.</p>

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<p>newark star ledger is wrong</p>

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<p>

Excellent point. WABC was always the most “tabloid” of the networks when I lived in the area. Oddly enough, I believe I took my SATs at Glen Rock High. </p>

<p>Anyway, it’s so sad to see this happen to someone close to finishing one chapter of life and starting a new one.</p>

<p>[Here’s</a> a direct link to the Times article](<a href=“http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/09/nyregion/09jump.html?_r=1&oref=slogin]Here’s”>http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/09/nyregion/09jump.html?_r=1&oref=slogin).
[Here’s</a> The Bergen Record’s article](<a href=“http://www.northjersey.com/page.php?qstr=eXJpcnk3ZjczN2Y3dnFlZUVFeXk0NSZmZ2JlbDdmN3ZxZWVFRXl5NzA3MzcxNSZ5cmlyeTdmNzE3Zjd2cWVlRUV5eTM=]Here’s”>http://www.northjersey.com/page.php?qstr=eXJpcnk3ZjczN2Y3dnFlZUVFeXk0NSZmZ2JlbDdmN3ZxZWVFRXl5NzA3MzcxNSZ5cmlyeTdmNzE3Zjd2cWVlRUV5eTM=).</p>

<p>From the Times:

</p>

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<p>That Times article is peculiar… it reports the boy had already been admitted to an “Ivy League college,” yet the night before he died he’d been on his way to a college interview.</p>

<p>Regardless - this is terribly sad.</p>

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<p>so sadd indeed</p>

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<p>Just today I was listening to NPR and they were talking about teen suicide</p>

<p>And GUESS WHAT- they said this time of year is one of the most dangerous with regards to teen suicide, the pressure of college admissions, valentines day rejections etc</p>

<p>I would trust the experts a bit in that regard…whether he got in or not, the pressure was more than he could take, sadly</p>

<p>And yes, as a community, a CIVILIZAZATION, we can add to the problems an already depressed or anxious person has</p>

<p>Something else the professionals on the radio said…kids at this age are VERY impulsive and it can take just one event, being dumped, disappointing their family, embarrassment, a rejection to cause them to want to commit suicide</p>

<p>My points still stand- that for whatever reason, this seemingly healthy, motivated, young man took his life…and we as a society need to see how we can help our young people</p>

<p>When you have girls that are dying to be thin, we can’t just say, oh, its alljust her, we need to look at society and family</p>

<p>There was a young lady on Tyra who was aneroxic…turns out mom had always ragged on her about her appearance…gee, you think there was a connection</p>

<p>After listening to the show today, and the callers it made me very sad, but also I saw that many suicides don’t happen in these depression bubbles- something often triggers it</p>

<p>As well, something to be warned about, often, when a depressed person, who may have suicidal thoughts but hasn’t talked about it or acted on it, often when they get medicated, THAT is when they may try suicide…their energy is up and they are motivated, so a newly medicated person should also be “watched” - medication doesn’t fix it all and in some cases, without proper therapy, that renewed sense of getting something accomplished can and does result in a death</p>

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<p>TO be clear, I AM NOT BLAMING THE FAMILY…I am saying pressures, family issues, gf/bf issues, grades, damaging a car, frustration, etc, have often lead to young people wanting to kill themselves, with few outward signs of depression in the classic sense</p>

<p>As the therapists have said, kids can hide it…that doesn’t mean that as a community we stick our heads in the sand and say, well, whatever, that kid was messed up, nothing we can do…there is MUCH we can do, for the kids around us</p>

<p>We need to pay attention, we need to take them at their word when they say they can’t do it any more, we need to be wary of too much stuff getting piled on to very impulsive often irrational young minds and bodies</p>

<p>This young man seemed to have pretty much everything going for him, but it seems, that perhaps it wasn’t enough, or he didn’t feel it was enough for him or perhaps for others</p>

<p>We seem to forget that a person doesn’t just commit suicide because they are hurting, sometimes it is ALSO beause they are afraid they have hurt and disappointed others, and we need to teach our young people that they don’t have to be perfect, they can make mistakes, they can mess up, we will still love them</p>

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<p>to Scarfmadness–Even if he was accepted to an Ivy, he could’ve had an interview arranged with another school.</p>

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<p>Instead of speculating on the details obviously this boy was deeply depressed and it had been brewing, there was a suicide note which on a local news station had something to do with his not getting into a school or something to that effect. BUT I do think we need to use caution for sure in how we judge this situation, no details are totally clear right now and Ithink its best we put our energies into praying not only for him and his family but for any other kids (and you know they are out there) who are feeling this same despair, this same desperate disconnect from life, that they find an outlet, someone to talk to and not make any terrible judgement calls regarding their life. No matter what his reasons, its a terrible tragedy and being a senior myself and under my own kind of pressure, I know its a tough time and not only are we trying to make ourselves happy, we are also trying very hard to please our parents, peers, advisors,etc…On that note I am going out to party tonight and celebrate life.</p>

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<p>whatever happened, its cuz people dont have faith in themselves. stop for a damn minute and realize that you are blessed already to be alive and to have the oppotunity to get an education. </p>

<p>if u dont get in to your dream school, forget about it and just try again for grad school or pro school. its never the end of the world</p>