<p>Soozie, I should have realized that you must have missed that part, knowing what I know of you (unfailingly kind!) I definitely agree with your second point. Of course, as we’ve discussed before, there are the stories of excesses, but overall, I think too little involvement is way more common, and I see the effects every day.</p>
<p>Garland, the too little involvement (speaking of K-12) I have also seen. I really see schools as needing to be partners with parents at that level anyway. I used to be a teacher and I did have some parents utterly uninvolved.</p>
<p>One memory that sticks out in my mind from teaching in a grade 1/2/3 class…I had a boy who was a discipline problem. And like I would do with other kids, he would get warnings and then consequences in class. In the hierarchy of the discipline plan, the next level was informing his parent with the hope that by doing so, I’d get the support at home to be aware of the issue at school so we could work together…like he might then get a talking to at home and/or a consequence for a report of poor behavior. So, I write the mom a note one day about an incident in class and letting her know as I had told the child I would do (as a consequence…sort of like, after consequence 1, 2, 3, now your parents will be contacted). The mom writes me back this letter and she tells me to not tell her about his behavior and that she doesn’t come running to me when he is bad at home! Ok…so, let’s forget about her support at home to work on this! And then of course there are kids that we even see on CC whose parents are entirely uninvolved in their college process. So, I definitely know about what you are talking about of the little involvement and the effects. </p>
<p>And I really don’t like when some teachers or schools come across as not wanting parents to get involved with school. I think they should encourage parental involvement in the educational process. I realize there are overbearing or inappropriate parental involvement but for the most part, I think parents do play a part in a K-12 setting. Our elementary school had heavy parental involvement and many volunteers, me included, and I think it was an asset to the school and to the kids whose parents weren’t involved even. While the involvement would be of a different sort in middle or high school, I realilze, the school itself really came across as not wanting parent involvement. I’ve had conferences with some teachers who seemed bothered that I’d even come to want to talk to them or work with them, even though I ALWAYS came across professional and saying “let’s work as a team” to solve whatever it was. So, anyway, I have witnessed a lot of the anti-parent involvement from some educators. </p>
<p>So, while I realize this thread was on college and on disabled students, in any case, I certainly would not like the tone of any response from the college that let on “do not have any contact with your child”! In college, for regular able students, I see parental involvement of the “behind the scenes” supportive type of thing, not as in K-12 when they talk to teachers and so forth .But it is still a kind of parental involvement and it has its place. So, while I don’t expect a parent to call a professor to discuss a problem, help with any assignments, and so forth, I do expect a parent to advise their child if they have an issue that comes up at school and talk about it and how they are handling it, etc. So, in essence, forgetting the “disability” piece here, I am saying parents’ role in their kids’ education takes a major shift once they hit college, but they still have a role as support from afar. So, I’m not into the two extremes presented (talking REGULAR students now). I am not familiar with how it works at college for kids with disabilities that are beyond learning disabilities and particularly kids who require a personal assistant. I still would think that the person doing that at school with the kid would not be their own parent because even though the kid needs assistance beyond what regular kids need, it is still college away from home so who does that job of assisting might not be their own parent, but again, I am not familiar with how major disabilities are dealt with on college campuses and certainly did not realize that this topic was quite that.</p>
<p>A summary from the providers’ listserv for college level disabled stduents.</p>
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<p>I remain offended at the thought that as a parent, we suddenly are supposed to throw our kids to the college and just run the other way. disabled or not, I was their mom the day before they went to college, and remain so the day after. yes, I am sure there are those over-involved, but as a person who works with the elderly and sick, what a great thing when family is willing to be involved to spare a person the cost of hiring somebody. anyway, i am sure some of you have read about the problems my son had his first year, and how I truly had no choice but to become involved because nobody wants to listen to an 18 year old freshman, but have mommy dearest call with the rath raining down and suddenly people have answers. There has truly been a shift in our society to just not giving a da*#, and that goes to colleges also. nobody calls back, nobody cares if a student is being harrassed or tormented, nobody cares if things aren’t working properly, nobody cares period. so when I am paying 32,000$$$$, you darn well better believe I will be hovering around like a helicopter to ensure that things are being done the way they should be if my son is unable to get it done himself. it wasn’t this way when I went to college, things were done as scheduled, teachers did what they were supposed to do, there were rules and guidelines. now everybody just does what they want, the rules change daily and everything is “open”. well it needs to be closed up a little, then I think you will see the helicopters flying away a bit.</p>