Hello!

Parent Cafe
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<p>I just wanted to say hello before I actually start posting. I have a daughter who is a junior in high school and a son who is a sophomore. My oldest is in college and there are some things I wish we had done differently back when he was applying. This time I will know more.</p>

<p>My daughter does not want me to even mention the word college to her, and I have only said it once when I asked if she’d like to do some visits in the spring. Perhaps it is too early for her to think about it.</p>

<p>I look forward to reading more of the board. Looks like there is a lot of great advice here!</p>

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<p>Write~</p>

<p>Welcome to CC! I was lucky enough to find this site as my first one was going through the college app. process last year. I also have a daughter who is a junior and one who is a freshman, not to mention the three younger kidlets! <em>lol</em> So, there are lots of college apps. in my future!</p>

<p>I am sure you will bring your voice of experience to this site as well as collect all sorts of good suggestions and ideas. I look forward to getting to know you! ~berurah</p>

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<p>Welcome–write!</p>

<p>I also found this site after having had a rough time with the first one’s college admission process (see my post under “I miss her” thread). Things went much better the second time around, and so hopefully they will for yours, too.</p>

<p>Glad to have you join us!</p>

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<p>Welcome, write</p>

<p>The “not wanting to hear” about college from a jr. at this point in the year is not all that unusual. If the school has active guidance office, there will be various meetings/assemblies which start getting the kids more interested/active as the year goes along. But some of them will never be as interested/active as their moms and dads. ;)</p>

<p>We found that S really engaged a lot more in the process during visits. Prior to that he was interested (once) in answering the “college search” questions on the counselor-o-matic website and seeing what came up.</p>

<p>If you haven’t read it, for a little bit of humor and solace in the process, read “Accept My Kid Please: A Father’s Descent into College Application Hell.” It takes about an hour the first time through and then can become your security blanket to pull out during times of highest need. :D</p>

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<p>Hello Write, and welcome:
I think what jmmom says is right…the activities of a decent guidance department will help kick start the process. It will become clear that this is something real, happening in real time. We used our spring break junior year for a family vacation–including the dog–based around colleges we and our daughter thought might work for her. Because these colleges are often in beautiful areas with lots of other sights to see, it was a fun trip for all. Including the dog and little brother.</p>

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<p>Welcome- you are about to make a ton of new friends. This is a great forum and the information you can get is invaluable. I discovered the forum almost a year ago- how we managed to get our daughter (“D” on these boards) into college without it is a mystery! She is now enjoying her junior year at Rice. S is a senior in high school and we are in the midst of battle!</p>

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<p>welcome i have not been here for long either but mine is a senior and she is having the i am 17 an know everything phase in our household. she is filling in applications and taking care to get papers to counselors but is still holding on to the application for the essays and if we mention them she says i know when they are due. good luck with your kiddos</p>

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<p>Write:
Welcome to our loony bin… :)</p>

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<p>berurah–Wow. You’ll be an expert in the process before too long!</p>

<p>garland–I read your post in the “I miss her” thread. Thanks for mentioning it!</p>

<p>jmmom and driver–The counseling department at our public high school is somewhat lacking in the admissions to college help. There is one couselor for 500 seniors. I had not realized that until the fall of my son’s senior year when the counselor had a meeting with parents to pass along this information. Son did end up getting into his dream school, but it was without any input or help from the counselor. I gave him advice, but there was so much I didn’t know. My son assured me that he knew what he was doing. He did, but I wish he would have applied to a couple of more places which offered merit aid. (His safety school was the only one that offered merit aid.) He loves the college he’s attending. So it turned out well. (Although it is a major expense.)</p>

<p>MomofWildChild–I am already feeling more prepared this time! </p>

<p>flounderingfree–It sounds like your daughter is handling everything. </p>

<p>optimizerdad–You made me laugh!</p>

<p>Thanks for the nice welcomes. I look forward to reading about how everyone is doing during the college admissions process.</p>

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<p>LOL,optimizerdad, or, put another way</p>

<p>Write,
Welcome to our Fellini film…:)</p>

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<p>Welcome, write. I oh-so-casually left a couple of college big books around the house. When I noticed my daughter had started dog-earing some of the entries, I knew it was time to start talking college. Since then, it has been a whirlwind of attending college fairs, info sessions, and touring colleges. And spending a LOT of time here.</p>

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<p>Welcome write!
This place has been a life saver for our family! And I’ve made lots of friends most of whom I can never remember if I’ve actually met or not.</p>

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<p>Hi, Write. Welcome to the zoo. Don’t feed the tourists. </p>

<p>There have been several threads along the lines of “What to do?”, involving students who are unengaged with the process. I sympathize and don’t have any good advice…that was not our road. But by junior year, if she is thinking of applying to selective colleges, she MUST get engaged, if nothing else to get a road map of the process and understand the implications of some of her choices…which in turn means she must have at least some point-of-departure criteria, even if they wind up changing.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

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<p>Welcome Write, I say a lot, but I really only have one truly useful piece of advice - put in a healthy supply of ice cream for the next 18 months - it is ALWAYS a good time for ice cream! Welcome</p>

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<p>Bienvenido!!! Hope CC meets your expectations.</p>

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<p>“My daughter does not want me to even mention the word college to her, and I have only said it once when I asked if she’d like to do some visits in the spring. Perhaps it is too early for her to think about it.”</p>

<p>Welcome, Write!</p>

<p>Many of us have BTDT when it comes to what you’re experience. Your daughter’s response is pretty typical. College is an enormous decision, so overwhelming to many students that they are so scared that they put off anything involved in the decision as long as possible. That only makes things worse. </p>

<p>My advice is for you to think about the kind of colleges that your D might enjoy seeing and that might be good matches for her. Take the time to look at some guidebooks like the US News Ultimate College Guide, which may be the best guidebook because it gives in depth info about colleges, including merit and need-based aid. There are 2 US News Guides. The “Ultimate Guide” is the larger, light blue, more expensive one (about $18 or so).</p>

<p>Anyway, pick out some colleges that are close enough to visit over spring or winter break. Make sure that the colleges are open then and are offering info sessions. You want your D to see the colleges when they are in session – with college students, not the h.s. students who typically are on campus over the summer.</p>

<p>Make sure the college(s) are places that you could afford. This may mean visiting in-state universities, which often are one’s best deal.</p>

<p>After selecting some colleges, ask for your D’s feedback, but if she simply gives no answer, don’t lose heart. Just make plans for the trip.</p>

<p>Make sure that the trip is low key. Don’t expect her to pick a college. If she hates all of the colleges, fine. That gives you – and her – some ideas of what kinds of things she wants in her experience. Make sure that you also do some things that she’d enjoy – shopping, sightseeing, etc. Have fun. Believe it or not, the time is rapidly running out for you to do such things with your D.</p>

<p>This is what I did when S was a soph. We headed to Duke and UNC, and he took a weekend program at Duke. I had planned to do a similar thing junior year, but he got a one-week job that was for spring break, so those were just about the only college trips we were able to make.</p>

<p>Even though he decided not to apply to either college, it did help both of us know what he liked. I was surprised that the faculty/student ratio was extremely important to him, for instance.</p>

<p>One other tip: Check around to see if there are any summer h.s. programs on college campuses that your D might enjoy and that you can afford. Such programs can range from one-week programs to ones that last a whole summer. Those, too, can be nice ways for students to see what it’s like to be in college. They also get inspired by hearing about the other h.s. students’ college plans.</p>

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<p>Cangel- LOL, I just stocked up on black rasberry, mint chocolate chip, and cookie dough last night! They’ll be gone by the weekend!</p>

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<p>Welcome to the board, Write! I’ll bet it won’t be long before your D embraces the college process. Her friends will be talking about it and she will get caught up in it. My D got caught up in the excitment during her sophomore year and especially her junior year and we visited several schools. Suddenly, at the end of junior year and throughout the summer, there wasn’t a lot of excitement and I even got moans, groans, and rolling of the eyes when I mentioned college. I think the reality of graduating, leaving family and friends, and being on their own hits home. </p>

<p>The best suggestion I can give is to be supportive. DD was away for six weeks this summer, but when she came home, DH and I advised her that she could not stick her head in the sand and pretend things would just magically fall into place. We told her we would do whatever we could to help in the process by scheduling and making travel arrangements to schools for visits and interviews. Hug her and tell her everything will be fine and just encourage her. It’s very common for kids that age to go back and forth between excitement and dread. Good luck!</p>

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<p>Welcome to the Caf</p>

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<p>Thanks again for the replies and advice! This board is becoming addictive, but I am learning a lot.</p>