HELP!!! critique my essay!

<p>Would anyone like to read my essay and give me some much needed feedback. I really think what I wrote about is meaningful and honestly an interesting topic? I am just unsure about how readers will feel about the connection I tried to make? Also the fluency of it (Paragraph - Paragraph) still is not there. If anyone would like to help, it would be greatly appreciated!</p>

<p>Thank You.</p>

<p>really no one :(…</p>

<p>i guess the wording of my post was awful?? :(</p>

<p>I’ll take a look, PM me.</p>