<p>lb, I hear you about being “low income” in relation to the other families that attend that school. Doesn’t mean poverty, just means how do you compete with $1000 dresses? My guess is that boy knows she doesn’t drive a Mercedes and that is okay with him. Maybe he doesn’t either so the both are on a more limited budget than the other kids at the school. </p>
<p>When you go looking for dresses, can you take one of your daughter’s friends or an older female cousin? If your daughter is a bit of a loner, having closer age female along will pump up the excitement a bit and reassure her that she can do the “girl thing” just fine so she doesn’t feel so ackward the night of Prom. She needs to check with friends to see what the attire is in your school. You can set general guidelines like I will not pay for a dress that is cut down to your navel but listen to her when she says whether she wants long or short, poofy or straight, glittery or not, etc. She needs to feel like she fits in so she will have the best scoop on that. And we’ve done dresses from cousins/friends, ebay, used clothing store and sale racks. All worked out fine. Generally, my girls have done their own hair. We do usually spend under $10 to buy a little something special in the way of sparkly, pearly, etc clip or band that goes with dress. Oh, they have also done their hair and then sprinkled small amounts of baby’s breath in hair and that has always been a big hit with the kids who go for the professional hairdos. And they have never gotten their nails done, they got together with friends and did each other’s nails. </p>
<p>If your daughter isn’t into heels and all, try to find something a little lower but fun because she will probably have them off a good bit of the evening. My kids have done embroidered chinese slippers and flip flops with sparkles. Instead of “I can’t afford to keep up with you” their statement came across as, I may have to wear this fancy dress but I’m still going to be my quirky comfortable self. </p>
<p>Dinner may or may not be part of dance, limo may or may not be part of evening, etc. Have her ask around. Differs by region. Most probably, boy will pay for dinner, prom and corsage. Other expenses could be split or not. Just have her ask her friends. If it is anything like at my kids school, your smart, nerdy, somewhat antisocial but sweet, beautiful daughter has a bunch of people at the school going Awwwh, that’s so sweet. Here, you ought to do your hair this way. Oh, you need to wear blue, you would look so good in blue. How are you going to do your makeup, let me show you how to do the eye shadow, etc. For some reason, the nice, nerdy, shy kids become projects for the other kids at times like this and they offer all kinds of support and assisstance cause they really want it to work out. And she needs to start talking more to this young man so the evening is less awkward!!!</p>
<p>If boy asked her, he wants to go with her because he wants to go to Prom or his buddies/parents pressured him to go and 1) he finds her shyness endearing 2) he respects her intelligence and doesn’t want to spend the entire evening talking about who did what to whom on the latest reality tv shows 3) he thinks she’s cute and he needed a date so what the heck 4) he’s shy too and she was less intimidating than the “social” girls 5) he enjoys being around her 6) he sees the same wonderful qualities in her that you do 7) he considers her a friend, she didn’t have a date, he didn’t have a date so there you go 8) or any one of a number of other reasons that you don’t want to even think about. Probably doens’t mean anything more than, I want to go to Prom, do you want to go with me?</p>
<p>Now, repeat this to yourself several times - I will not speak ill of this young man in front of my daughter, I will not ask about his income, GPA or SAT scores. I will tell her repeatedly she is beautiful. I will smile when I answer the door and try to put the boy at ease. I will proudly take pictures but only a few because it gets tiring and embarrasing. And when she is in the bathroom screaming that her hair looks stupid, her dress isn’t “right”, she can’t do her makeup, etc I will remember this is her night and she is nervous and not yell you look FINE, that dress cost $200, just let it go and get dressed, etc. I will resist the temptation to roll my eyes and raise my voice. I will use words like beautiful, radiant, glowing, wonderful but I will not cry until she leaves the house.</p>