<p>DD is a junior and she was asked by a senior to go to the prom. She told me that he has been nice to her in school the whole year etc but she is some what reserved. I encourage her to have an open mind and discuss that with the boy.</p>
<p>What are things I must know about prom? Do we have to buy “nice” cloth and shoes, get her hair done etc? Keep in mind we are of a low income family in the area.</p>
<p>Very first time facing this situation. Needs advise.</p>
<p>I am sure her girlfriends can advise on hair, shoes, and clothes. My daughter was able to buy beautiful formal dresses (that she loved) rather inexpensively at Sears or Penney’s, as opposed to very expensive department stores or prom dress stores. She can buy cheap fancy shoes, as she won’t be wearing them day after day. Many girls get their hair done, or a friend can do it. She will also need to buy a boutenierre (spelling? - male corsage) for her date, but that is not too much. In the scheme of things, it will not be a huge expense! I’m sure she will have fun!</p>
<p>Do you know any other parents in the area who have been through prom before…you could get an idea of the regular dress expectations, etc. In some places of the country, most prom dresses are shorter (not formal length), but it varies widely. Usually these days they are strapless or sleeveless and very dressy. Ideas for dresses: resale shops or do you know anyone who you could borrow from? or someone who can sew? In our city, a charity sponsors a dress event where girls who otherwise couldn’t afford a dress can go “shop” from dresses that have been donated throughout the year. Finally, we got D’s dress for this year on e-bay. We actually ended up getting 2—one was brand new, and $65, instead of the $150 it costs in stores. We also got another one, which was a used bridesmaid’s dress for $25. Both look awesome, and she’s keeping the 2nd one to wear at a later function. Some people go all out for hair and pay people to do the up-do’s, but this is also not necessary, either. I hope she has a fun time!</p>
<p>Thank MOT.</p>
<p>I need a little more details. For example, who would pay for the $60 ticket, Photo and after prom party? </p>
<p>If a girl goes to the prom with a boy, does it imply anything other then just a prom party? I get a full sweat just thinking about that four letter word starts with D.</p>
<p>I think the other girls at school can advise on “dress expectations” at least as well as the other parents. I would let her handle the choice of outfit (without getting too involved) as long as it stays within good taste and reasonable cost. I can’t imagine my husband asking other parents about prom dresses and then advising my daughter :eek:</p>
<p>Also, don’t forget the resale shops. When my D and her friends went to the 8th grade dance a few years ago, they found TONS of beautiful prom dresses (current styles, too) and crazy cheap prices. Beautiful ones … just have to keep going back. Also, doesn’t hurt to talk to the owner of the shop, let her know your situation and put her on the look-out to hold something back for you, or, at the very least, let you know when they tend to put out their stash. Let’s face it, girls tend to only wear these dresses once before they want a new one for the next dance. Also, my D’s cousins, who are a couple of years older, swap and mail dresses. Still a whole lot cheaper … Another store, though … that tends to have good deals is Dillard’s, if you watch for the mark-downs. Found my D’s homecoming dress for about $30, and she must have tried on 15 dresses, all in that price range.</p>
<p>lb - Prom can be fun without getting out of control with the expenditures.</p>
<p>Styles will vary depending on geography. Here we are seeing a trend toward natural hairstyles that the girls do themselves. I’m seeing fewer and fewer of the elaborate, $75 ‘up-dos’. And beautiful dresses can be found for reasonable cost as well. Our drill team girls are big on dress sharing and have a schoolwide prom dress re-sale every year for a fundraiser. There will always be the girl who goes to the most expensive store and pays an outrageous amount for a dress and she will make sure everyone knows about it…but most girls are pretty darned proud when they get a good deal on a dress at the re-sale.</p>
<p>In my d’s group, the kids go ‘dutch’ on any big stuff. Or the boy may pay for prom tickets (which includes dinner) and the girl may pay for the limo if there is one…it kind of evens out. Your d’s date will likely buy her a corsage and if it is customary at her school, she should provide him a boutonniere. Boutonnieres are easy to make, but are also very inexpensive if ordered with the corsage. Here, the boy and girl go together to the florist and order matching corsages and boutonnieres…boy pays for corsage, girl for boutonniere.</p>
<p>Have your daughter ask around to see what is customary at her school. I hope she goes and has a wonderful time!!</p>
<p>Photos - here, each kid’s parent pays for their own professional photo package…which is a totally optional side event that goes on at the prom.
Afterparty - We have a school sponsored event (project prom) which is free to enter. Once inside, participating in some of the events requires tickets which can be purchased, or earned by the students and/or parents by donating time to the planning of project prom. There a plenty of free events in the party too. This is something your daughter will have to ask about…not every school sponsors events.</p>
<p>It just implies that they are friends!!! My son got asked to the junior prom when he had no interest in going, as many of the girls wanted to go and a classmate who was a friend asked him. Many times dates are actually set up with “strangers” (friends of friends, friends of aunts, friends of friends of aunts… from other schools) so that someone who wants to go can have a date. It does not imply a romantic relationship, although, of course, people in a romantic relationship go with their bf or gf. </p>
<p>If he asked her and she is not a senior, I think he should pay for her ticket. If two people who are both from the class and school holding the prom go as friends, I think they should each pay for their own ticket. The photos at our school were of minimal cost, but they can split it. </p>
<p>I have to run now, but I am sure there are a lot of other moms around who will be glad to give you further information 
It is a fun topic!</p>
<p>Do you have a Ross Dress for Less? D’s homecoming dress came from there - $18. </p>
<p>My D is going to the prom with girlfriends (six). She did something similar for homecoming. Guys seem to all get dates, fewer go stag. But lots of girls don’t get asked, so go together. I wish my D was going with a date, because I think it would feel more special, but she’s happy. Both my boys got turned down once, before finding dates. I watched them sweat it out, and thought it would be easier from the girl’s side - I was wrong. (I don’t think D has the confidence - or the contacts - to do the asking.)</p>
<p>Since we had just moved back here last fall, we had to rely on friends to coach us on the normal protocol for dress length and such. One person told me D should ask the others in her group what they were wearing, since it would matter more that she feel comfortable with the group she was with, rather than the whole crowd at large. They wore tea-length, so she did, too. For prom, they are all wearing formals, which is the norm around here. We spent $139 on her prom dress (Dillards) but she is also using it for her concerto performance next week. So, counting the homecoming dress, I figure it’s more like $55 or so per occasion. She did not put up her hair for homecoming, but will for the concerto. She hasn’t decided yet about prom.</p>
<p>With my boys - they paid for dinner for their dates. Prom tickets were paid for with dues, so each paid his/her own. Limo costs were shared all around.</p>
<p>o.k. I think I need to clarify the area of my need. I don’t know any thing about procedures or customs about prom. What do we need to do and expect? </p>
<p>We are of low income in the area does not mean we are poor. It is just that DD attends a school which has Lamborghini parked in the student session.</p>
<p>In our city, several weeks before prom, there is an event held at the Junior League shop in which hundreds of once-used prom dresses are donated and then given out free (with free alterations, services donated) to girls who would not otherwise be able to afford a dress. Is there any way to find out if there is anything in your area? Ours is called “Gown Town.” I’ve never been to it, but I hear about it on the radio each year, and it sounds like an outstanding program that redirects resources in a great way!</p>
<p>Laserbrother, here are a few things to find out about. Others, I know, will add more:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Are they going only as a couple, or are they going with a group? If a group, do you know anything about the others in the group? Since your D doesn’t know the boy that well, it would be important to know his reputation – drinker? carouser? ladies’ man?</p></li>
<li><p>Are there after prom events? After prom functions are normal around here. What are your (and your D’s) standards for this?</p></li>
<li><p>A normal prom date around here goes like this:
Girl spends afternoon getting hair done, manicure, whatever. Wears long dress. Guy wears tux. She buys him a flower for his tux, he buys her a wrist corsage. Guy picks her up around 5:00 to join friends for lots of photos. Limo comes and picks up group and takes them to fancy restaurant. Guy pays, unless otherwise agreed upon. Prom starts around 7 or 8. Photos taken at prom by professionals. Not all kids choose to participate. S1’s date wanted photos, and paid for them. S2 skipped photos, as will (probably) D. At prom they dance, visit with friends, eat snacks. After prom, they head over to someone’s house to continue the party - usually all night long. Might stop home to change, first. Head home after breakfast.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>lb - Basics…she’ll need a dress, shoes, handbag, costume jewelry and to provide her date a boutonniere (small lapel corsage). Some girls opt for professional hair, makeup and manicure. Manicure is probably the most important thing…many girls do their own hair and makeup.</p>
<p>Limo - She’ll need to talk to her date and find out if there will be a limo and if other people joining them in the limo. If so, she needs to find out where the kids will meet and if parents are welcome to come and take candid pictures before the kids leave in the limo for prom. She’ll need to ask her date if he would like to share expenses for the limo.</p>
<p>Tickets - Dinner should be included at prom. Our proms are usually held at hotels where dinner is catered. Again, she’ll need to ask her date if he would like to share expenses for the tickets.</p>
<p>Photos - Usually, professional photos are taken at prom at a location somewhere on site. Not every couple has their pictures taken, it’s a personal choice. At my d’s proms, it was not obvious if a couple opted out of the professional photos. If you do want to buy a photo package, each parent usually pays for their own child’s package. If a couple poses for pictures and only one person wants to buy a package that’s okay too. Most kids will carry their digital cameras and take candid photos (for their facebook 
) of each other all night long. This seems to be more a priority than standing in line for a professional photo.</p>
<p>My D was invited recently to her first, too. Also by a senior (she is a junior). The dress was very pricey, so I’m hoping that she gets to wear it several times. I told her in advance that if I bought her the dress she loved, she’d be on her own for hair, makeup, shoes, etc. Many girls here have that professionally done, for hundreds of dollars. You’ve never seen plans change so quickly, though—as soon as she realized it was on her dime! lol…now she’s fine with PayLess shoes, because they’ll barely peek out from underneath the dress. She’ll do her own hair, and her own makeup. She works after school, so she’s learning the value of a dollar. To the OP: there are lots of stores in the mall where you can get a long prom dress for under $100. Try places like Deb, or Loehmann’s.</p>
<p>Also, my d found cute shoes at Bakers for $30 and has recycled them for most of her semi-formal events. If anyone is interested, they are running a sale right now. Buy shoes plus matching handbag and get 25% off entire purchase.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.bakersshoes.com/jump.jsp?itemID=0&itemType=HOME_PAGE[/url]”>http://www.bakersshoes.com/jump.jsp?itemID=0&itemType=HOME_PAGE</a></p>
<p>Thanks to all. I got it, I think. </p>
<p>My D is somewhat anti-social if that is even a word. I don’t remember the last time she ever did a make up. I actually would like for her to go and I want to do what ever I could to dress her up to show the “girl” side of her. </p>
<p>As long as we don’t have to pay for the boy’s part.</p>
<p>^heck no lb. The girl’s part is expensive enough without paying for the boy too! ;)</p>
<p>He invited her to his prom so he will pay for the tickets - he probably already has, we had to pay by 3/1. Our mother’s club pays for the post prom party. We also require signed permission slip from every parent whose child is attending but that be a local thing. If she wants the photo and he doesn’t then she can pay. They cost $25 here, usually 2 5x7s and a few wallet. We have done Payless for shoes, they take them off after the pic and go barefoot or fancy flip flops. Hope she has a great time.</p>
<p>LB, don’t worry…when your D is off at college, you won’t know anything about her dates, so you won’t break out into a sweat. Just one more year. Hang in.</p>
<p>Despite her MAJORLY expensive and frou-frou dress, my D is wearing a pair of clear shoes (think Cinderella) with light up heels <em>rofl</em> that we got at Payless last year for about 12 bucks. I’ve even seen girls around here wear very pretty, rhinestone sandals! My D got a pair of dress shoes at a Goodwill store for use as part of a play costume, but they’re <em>really</em> nice…nice enough to wear with something formal if they had matched the dress.</p>