<p>Hi everyone –
I’m trying
Thanks for the support and advice -seeing and doing are two different things. I just don’t want to estrange the relationship - She is our only child - we have tried to give her every advantage – I did mention on my last talk that maybe the school where she is going isn’t he one for her. She is on a scholarship and has the opportunity to travel – Doesn’t want to go and be lonely – She told me he makes her happy – I told her happiness comes from within – I’m trying to say the right stuff and not scream out my opinions which are many</p>
<p>Hopefully she will take my last comments that were filtered because I don’t want to drive her closer to him –will give her food for thought. I feel he has a lot of influence on her and since he is in a different space in his life with no supports (emotionally/financially) he looks at things differently.<br>
IE she goes to school 1.5 hours from home – talking about thanksgiving – she thought she’d spend it with bf – we told her thanksgiving is family time/tradition, etc. – told her she could bring him – he could stay here or at cheap hotel if he preferred – She shared that this is his first thanksgiving in his own place ( ie with 4 other people ) and wanted to start his own traditions – thanksgiving, Christmas tree etc.<br>
She was trying to convince me it is the natural order of life that she start move into adulthood and away from us. I told her after she has education. </p>
<p>Dr Drewsmom – I mentioned his earnings and his lack of thanks as a way to shed light. It was never mentioned to my daughter - I take the factor of his upbringing as an explanation – I don’t think he has had much and in that way, I feel for him.
I think he may be shy too? It’s hard to say. The opportunity to get to know him is difficult – they have been offered.
I just don’t think my daughter needs someone who is so needy – She needs someone who can bring her out and engage her. Most people on the outside can see this a relationship that has many obstacles – she doesn’t have friends that she confides in – he is her confidant – so she is not getting unbiased input.<br>
As Goalidad said he is a slacker – didn’t find a job for 6 months – was looking for something more than starbucks ( apparently spent his small inheritance from the house sale after his mom died – finally took a job through an agency working in a warehouse. The first 6 months (and possibly through today has not learned how to use public transportation . I think he spent his time holed up in apt while daughter was at classes – he has no money – can’t take her out/ movies etc – yes I want more for my daughter!
I have no problem with people that aren’t educated but I know that not having education puts one at disadvantage.</p>
<p>Barrons- your link scared me</p>