<p>Zafiro:</p>
<p>Many good opinions already stated here. You have a risk of having your daughter turn to the BF if you are perceived to attack him in any way, make him welcome in your home, be generous of spirit, hope that getting to know him and being open to him will allow her to relax and not feel defensive of him.</p>
<p>My DD had a BF, she was away at school and a senior, so we had not met him, but in my gut I did not feel right about it, just little cues, like the fact that caller ID always showed is home ph#. A few months later I met him and was amazed at the slacker she was with, I cannot tell you how he bothered me, but since she had been away more than not for most of 4 years, I endeavored to get to know him and not show my judgmental feelings. Nothing made me feel any better about him and a few months later, my gut was proven right by his behaviors. He put her in a situation that caused her to be at risk, she realised he was not a good person, and she ended up being stalked by him after she broke things off!</p>
<p>Could I have done anything sooner??? Not sure, I don’t think she would have listened until she saw it for herself, some of our kids have to make their own mistakes 
He stalked her for months after and it was a hellish time, but we were there for her completely and, interestingly, she admitted she had kind of wanted her Dad to meet the BF on a visit, as she was having her own doubts and knew her Dad would not pull any punches. So, should I have said he was a loser? The day her Dad and I came into town for a visit was the day that things fell apart, so I had no chance to see her reaction to negative parental comments, but I would say, do nothing to push her away and be there for her no matter what.</p>
<p>Each family has their own rules, in our home, if you are a student, with your life paid for by mom & dad, then no living with the BF; if you are an adult, supporting yourself, then you can make your own rules. Be consistent with your family’s rules. If she has been told no living together, than no financial support; if living together is fine with you, but you don’t care for this guy, then it would be more difficult to exert your opinion.</p>