@NDMom123 If you work with the posters here, there is a good chance of finding a good and affordable school. You may need to help some, but it should be manageable.
Try to remember that the only thing that will cost you more than sending him to college, is not sending him.
U Wyoming is a couple of hours from Denver and Boulder, so OP’s son could have big city experiences on weekends.
Although, I think one of the free tuition options would be better for this family, perhaps U Arkansas - Little Rock could give him an urban experience and free tuition +.
A couple of HOURS from Boulder and Denver…and you think they will be going there for,weekends? In whose car?
We live a couple of hours from Boston and a couple of hours from NYC…and we don’t go,there on weekends with any regularity,
The posts upstream about Arkansas schools, and UA Huntsville are good ones. These could,actually be affordable for,this student if the parents can help with some personal expense and transportation money.
Laramie can seem as bright as Vegas to those from very small towns in ND. It’s rather a cute town, and lots to do at the university. People are very nice It is cold for 6 months of the year, and that’s not going to change.
Just because a parent isn’t contributing money to a child’s college doesn’t mean the parent isn’t contributing. For my DD2, I don’t pay much (or now going into year 3, anything) but I spend a lot of time (a LOT of time) filling out forms, following up with the financial aid office, tracking down her awards and making sure they are applied to her account. She’s not good at administrative things, and I’m very good at them, so I do them. I’ve found some scholarships for her to apply to, and helped her with those. I spent a lot of time working with her (and her sister) to find schools we could afford without a large contribution of cash from me. (I think picking the right school is key.) I’ve done her taxes so that she benefits the most. If I didn’t do all those forms and follow up, she’d be paying a lot more for college. I do consider that a big parent contribution. My mother even said to me today that she doesn’t remember doing any of this as she sees me doing their taxes, figuring out how much they’ll need for room and board, checking due dates and amounts before the semester starts. . My mother doesn’t remember doing it because she didn’t. I did it all, my sister did it all, my four brothers stopped going to college after starting because they didn’t want to do it.
If OP just wanted to push her son out the door, I don’t think she would have come to CC to ask for ways to talk to him, to work with him, to figure out this college thing. The schools he had on his ‘list’ (which sounds like he just named some schools that aren’t in ND) are schools he’s heard of. CC regulars are very good at thinking of schools, programs, scholarships people have never heard of, ways to make the finances work out a little bit better. I doubt her son is going to end up at Ohio State or USC, but Minnesota is a possibility. Maybe he’d have to go to a community college for 2 years, or to UND and then transfer. Maybe the father does have some GI benefits he can transfer and the son could find a Yellow Ribbon school to make up the difference (my daughter attends a Yellow Ribbon school and we heard about it at the open house, but since we’re not military I didn’t pay much attention, but I know it’s a good thing). Maybe son just needs to realize how much OOS schools cost and decide that UND (or South Dakata, which is very inexpensive) are just right after all.
OP can now sit with her son and make some suggestions, not just “It’s UND or bust” which makes the son mad. Take the ACT again, look at WUE schools (Hawaii!, ASU), think about the military or doing a year of service to see if you really want to live in the tropics. She can look into the military benefits and run some NPCs to see what her son would be expected to pay. Maybe she and her husband will find they can contribute a small amount to the son’s education if they crunch their budget again. One thing I’d do if I were the OP is look at the tuition exchange rules again, or beg UND to offer something in reduced tuition. For UND it costs little to give an employee a reduced tuition benefit, and it gets them a student. I’ve had professor friends find that by asking, they get something. It might be an easy fix (changing title from adjunct to part time professor) to get a big benefit. My friend’s husband found that if he went part time rather than retiring and teaching 2 classes (which he was planning to do) their daughter kept her tuition exchange benefit.
A couple of hours in Colorado is very different than a couple of hours on the east coast. It is not at all unusual for people to drive a couple of hours for a weekend day trip up into the mountains to ski, bike, raft, hike, etc. I don’t think OP’s son would go down every weekend, but it would not be a big deal to catch a bus or ride with down with a friend (a lot of CO kids go to U WY because with WUE it is cheaper than CU).
But again I don’t think it is a good option for the OP because a 5.5K loan won’t be enough.
It’s not exactly tropical in North Dakota!
To be honest, I’m not sure what the OP was asking…if anything. The mom says they will contribute nothing towards college costs. The son is not enthusiastic about college searching.
She didn’t exactly ask for help, but folks are generously giving it.
If the parent is willing to think outside of the ND box…and so is the son…and the parents can help woth I dicentra costs…there are some options that were posted upstream,
And the parents can help,with discretionary expenses!!
Sorry for,the typo!
Perhaps there are some relatives in a city where he would like to live that would be willing to house him for a year or two while he worked as a much as possible and attends CC until he can afford to transfer to a 4 year college? A parent who legitimately can’t afford anything isn’t a problem because they can seek out schools that are generous with financial aid but a parent who by the numbers can afford to pay something but won’t makes it so much harder. As he puts forth effort to find schools where he can receive merit aid yet not be forced to continue living in a small town perhaps you can put some time towards doing some financial/budget research to see if there is any way to help him even with a few thousand a year which would make a huge difference for him. Call the companies you deal with cable/phone/cell/trash and see if there are any discounts or lower service plans that would save some money, etc. Takes some time but often pays off.
Without WUE it’s cheaper than CU!
Wyo WUE is limited, and I only know a couple of kids who receive it, but almost every OOS student gets Rocky Mtn Scholars awards. The top award for that now is the same as WUE, 150% of instate tuition. Same 150% if you have a parent who is an alum. The r&b at CU is also a lot higher than Wyoming. I think Wyo sticker price for an OOS student at Wyoming is about $29k (and we didn’t come close to that because of alum award, Rocky Mtn, department awards, and it just doesn’t cost as much as they allot for expenses and books) and instate COA at CU is about $28k (my nephew paid every bit of that and more). Wyoming student fees include everything - football, basketball, Friday night events (concerts, movies, hypnotist, ice skating), which can run several hundred dollars at CU just for football. If they didn’t have Starbucks, daughter would spend very little. Damn that Starbucks crack.
I’m a CU alum and love the school, but my checkbook loves UWyo.
I hear Wyoming is also very generous with FA, both to its own residents and OOS. A friend told an anecdote of a CO student getting tens of thousands of dollars in grants from UW after her freshman year. The school wanted to keep her, period. I’ve never been to Laramie, so can’t comment about its attributes, but there is no doubt that Wyoming’s largesse is putting the school on a lot of people’s radar in the West.
Another increasingly popular option in the West: Montana. My own son was awarded a total of almost 40K in “scholarships” at Montana State (it would have been more at U of Montana!) for his 30 ACT score. His ACT may have been decent, but he’s no scholar, and his high school grades reflected it.
@NDMom123 I’ve seen several posters ask about potential GI benefits from your retired military spouse. What occurred to me is that, since he is retired, could he pick up part-time (or even full-time) employment and put that salary toward college costs? I know you mentioned furloughs and unemployment. I’m not thinking of a continuation of his previous military occupation; just something that would allow you to start and maintain a college fund for your son and other children.
He would easily qualify for the Amigo scholarship or WUE Plus at the University of New Mexico. This would bring the cost down to in state tuition - about 6.6K per year. Albuquerque is a reasonable city with nice weather and good access to outdoor recreation. Cost of living is moderate. There are also scholarships for children of veterans.
Regarding OOS state colleges with football, U of MN is NOT considered OOS for this student. There is reciprocity with ND. Doesn’t mean he can pay for it, but at least he would not be paying OOS tuition.
I believe that it’s far too late for the dad to transfer GI bennies to his son, if the dad even had that option (don’t remember what year that became an option…the dad retired years ago).
If I remember correctly, a retiring parent who qualifies for that option has to select that option within X months of retiring. This dad retired about 9 years ago.
None of the WUE schools will work…this student can’t pay regular instate rates, much less 150% rates. WUE benefits really mostly benefit affluent kids whose parents don’t mind paying full instate COA, plus an add’l 50% tuition.
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I might have always meant for my son to get a degree,
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^^^ This sentence bothers me.
You have a “pretty talented student,” and you, a college prof, “might have always meant” for your son to go to college?
Do you realize why that is hard for us to understand? If you were a nurse and your child was chronically ill, would you say, “I might have always wanted my child to get medical treatment.”
Ok…moving on…
Your son’s biggest hurdle is that you won’t pay for anything. I understand that you’ve just started saving, but your H is “double dipping” and you’re working, too. Your H already has a retirement, with benefits.
If you’re determined not to pay for anything, then your son needs to be told that none of the schools on his current list will work. He needs to find schools that will give him a near-free-ride since he can only borrow $5500 for frosh year.
There are schools that will give him huge merit, but many aren’t ones that would likely interest him.
He seems to want a big Div I football school. Those tend to be flagships or other top schools in each state.
I know that Miss State would give him decent merit, but not enough. Texas Tech would probably give him decent merit, but not enough.
Troy Univ might give him a near-free ride. They have a popular sports program.
University of South Dakota has low rates, look to see what merit he’d get there.
I’ve missed what his major/career goal is…what is it?
Your son needs to retest…take both the SAT and ACT…he needs a higher score for larger awards.
I suggest looking at the thread with the list of schools that cost under $25…and focus on the ones that give merit for his stats.
I suggest that you also look at your budget and try to figure out how you can give at least provide a few thousand a year towards college. It might make the difference for him. It may mean taking on another teaching assignment or hubby working more hours or figuring out how much you’ll save having one less mouth to feed in the home.
I don’t think OP is at a point where different options can be weighed. (Though yes, it is well time.) Partly for that reason, I’m also not sure if this is Mom or the son asking. If Mom has an idea of what will be affordable or how he’s supposed to put the funds together, she can say. It’s unusual to see this presented with such little detail, from an educated parent. it’s not unusual for our kids, at this point. So I hope someone in the family runs NPCs for even a few schools and gives that feedback here. Some savvy posters could help with ideas.
Please folks: The OP has stated that she is 2 1/2 hours away from Grand Forks. Look at a map! 2 1/2 hours from Grand Forks almost certainly means that the OP is in a rural area where there aren’t a lot of extra jobs to pick up. Maybe none other than seasonal harvest work - maybe not even those if the farmers have contracts with harvesting companies.
From her statements, I gather that the mom is an adjunct instructor either for one of the specialized live UND programs taught off campus, or for UND online courses. And yes, she is allowed to call herself a college professor because she’s teaching at a college. That is the job title she is expected to use when she deals with her students. She would be paid as an adjunct. Teaching online for U of MD is just more adjunct income. Again, there may not be any more teaching contracts to pick up.
She has come here for help. Let’s focus on that rather than on criticizing her family’s choices.
The poster is active but silent. There is little we can say without knowing more.
^And given all that, it’s very unlikely that OP does not qualify for significant FA. Her EFC at need-met private schools may be much lower than she’s thinking. Hopefully she’ll run those NPCs, return, and then we can see what the options are (if any) beside the yolasite and other large auto merit awards.
And if those are the only options, then intended major could help in narrowing down the list.
It is quite possible,that this family MIGHT qualify for need based financial aid at a college that meets full need…IF her son gets accepted to one. These are highly competitive universities…and acceptance rates are pretty low.
I do think the family should try some net price calculators.
Also wondering…is there something new in terms of family ability to,pay for college. OR is there some more recent reason why this student must stay on ND?
I’m hoping there is some compromise to be made.
If the family is really stretched financially, then that’s the way it is. Some good options for good merit aid have been pointed out upstream.
To others reading this thread…please…start having the college discussion including budget constraints a LONG time before the summer before senior year of high school. If your family budget is significantly limited…it’s better for your student to know this earlier in the game. Help your student identify lower cost options. Don’t lead them to believe that the college search is an open book if financially it can’t be one.
To the OP…I hope you are sharing some of these lower cost, or good merit college suggestions with your son. They could be the compromise you need to enable him to go OOS at a low cost.
OTOH! If there is some reason why your family needs this student to stay in ND…then make that clear to him also.
Agree with @lookingforward
I don’t think she knows what she wants from this forum. She wants the conflict with her son to go away. She doesn’t want to lose him to some faraway out of state school. She wants her financial strain to be easier, without having to actually have to talk frankly and in detail about money with anyone (either anonymously online or with her family).
We can’t give her any of that.
We are all guessing as to what the issues are, but I think we should be quiet until OP comes back and explains her situation more clearly and what sort of help, if any, she is open to. If she decides to. Which she might not.