Help for 1st grader who hates books.

Hi everyone,

Looking for some help here. My youngest is a first grader and she really hates reading. She won’t even let me read to her! Even as a toddler, I could barely get her to allow me to read her anything. She is bright, verbal and at grade level in reading according to her teacher but every night the reading is a struggle. I would love any an all thoughts and suggestions.

Strew books around the house. Provide other ways of exposing her to rich vocabulary. Otherwise ignore.

We cheerfully falsified our child’s reading log at that age, and encouraged her to do the same when she was old enough that it wasn’t expected to be supervised by parents. No sense making a burden out of something that should be a joy, for a kid who is not falling behind.

Leave her alone. Seriously. She is at “ grade level” in reading. So why does she need to be read to at night. Personally I can not stand being read to or reading out loud. Can’t stand it. When I was in first grade I discovered the sublime pleasure of reading to myself. I loved reading that way.

When I had kids I forced myself to read to them and they liked it ok. But as soon as they could read to themselves I stopped. I was lucky in that they were very early good readers.
In any event until you get an inkling that your daughter is falling behind reading wise don’t push it. If it starts seeming like there is an issue and that her dislike of reading is about a lack of ability you’ll know it soon enough and can take steps to get help. But if she’s capable but just doesn’t get pleasure from reading that’s her prerogative.

Who is choosing the books for the school reading? Have you addresed this with her teacher?

As for family reading, did she choose the books or did you?

Does she have her own library card?

Audiobooks worked for my youngest! Anything funny hooked him.

My kid hated to read - especially when he was in the early grades when they made reading homework. He’d read the required 10, 15, 20 minutes and as soon as time was up, slam the book shut.

He never became a reader for enjoyment until after he graduated from college and both H and I are voracious readers.

We did read to him all the time and he loved it but it didn’t carry over.

Does she just not like to sit still? Is she bored by the books?
Maybe she just hasn’t found what clicks yet–some kids like “true life” stories while others like magic and fairy tales. Or nature books.
Do you have a close by library where she can pick out what she wants? Read her books above her grade level that have good stories…
I personally find a lot of kid’s books too preachy or trying to teach something without any fun.
Dr. Seuss books are always good. Amelia Bedelia anything.
“Where the Sidewalk Ends” by Shel Silverstein is great–funny poems.
How about comics?
Or magazines like Highlights?

bedtime stories don’t have to be via reading books aloud
I remember using shadow puppets and finger puppets to tell stories
I think getting interested in stories is a good first step

She is so young and reading on grade level so I fear it would cause more harm than good to push it too hard. My kids both eventually found something that piqued their interest and made them want to read. It happens at different times for different people. My D loved animals and started reading non-fiction books on different animals in 2nd - 3rd grade or so, my S was later and started reading some (probably terrible) fiction books based on a TV show he loved in middle school,decided “reading could be fun,” and has been reading ever since.

I would: 1) not stress about it; 2) continue to read together at night; and 3) keep different kind of books lying around that she may find fun (perhaps some silly ones, ones with good pictures, ones about things she may be interested in etc.) and eventually something will hit her the right way.

As long as she is developmentally where she should be, don’t push the “sit down and read” philosophy - not now anyway.

Look for alternative ways to “catch” her reading. Magazines, comic books. Sit down and look at a catalog together and read details (like the American Girl catalog). Cook together using recipes- cookbooks or online recipes require you to follow along and read. Sit down with the grocery ads and make a shopping list for meals or those recipes you will make together.

Is she able to “sit” for other activities? Like building with legos or playing with dolls, etc.? If so, they she had attention span, just not for books right now!

Hopefully you’ll see a gradual turn around. It’s two different things, wanting to sit and read vs. being ABLE to sit and read. As she gets older school work will require her to read more and more often - so you want to be sure in the next year or two that she can do it since there comes a time when kids “don’t learn to read but READ TO LEARN” - 3rd or 4th grade is when that really kicks in.

We found S1 thought grade level books too boring. When he had more say in exploring higher level material he jumped in and became reader. S2 like comic books. Eventually moved to role playing books for his D&D. S3 did not like it until he found the scary books series. Not great literature but he started reading more. He eventually moved on to non-fiction about space. DD had Pony Club all over the house. As adults, S1 and DD became avid readers and continue to read for enjoyment. S2 and S3 enjoy it but don’t gravitate to it. All came from a house with books and magazines everywhere and parents who read. Some kids just take to it more than others. As long as they can read with comprehension I would not stress about it. Oh, they all hated reading out loud. When left to their own they did much better. We would just talk about the story afterwards.

We too lied on the reading logs. It’s just not worth it sometimes. If they are keeping up with the grade level, then nothing to worry about. I will say my middle child did not like the look of books due to the length. So our solution was a kindle. They would never know how long a book was and just kept reading. Maybe try read magazines. Short stories but still get the benefits of reading.

Have you asked them to read to someone else - like maybe to the dog, or to a grandparent over the phone? Make it not about themselves, because they may be rebelling about being told to do something that you want - make it something THEY want.

Good suggestions so far. I will throw in taking her to the eye doctor, not just to check to see if she needs glasses, but to an eye doctor who can give a good overall eye exam. Ruling out any vision issues can clear your mind of any lingering doubts about relaxing reading rules.

What kinds of things interest your D right now? I suggest you take the “reading time” each night and instead just focus on paying attention to your child, engaging in her interest, and loving on her. I was a third child, and getting one on one time with my mom was a treat. Having conversation requires words, and so you can build vocabulary as you show interest in her and whatever toy/doll/activity she enjoys.

I have a dear friend who works with under-performing children in the local library. They have an arrangement with a local animal rescue that once a month brings cats and dogs (and last month a rabbit!) to the library for these kids to read to. These kids “normally” wouldn’t crack a book if their life depended on it (they’re all under 11), but something magical happens when these critters show up. The kids are told the rescues need story time, and believe it or not, the kids dive right in. Last month a little boy said to “his” cat, “I hope you get a house, but if not, I’ll be right here to finish this story” - I wonder if there might be an animal shelter that you could visit and take along a book to read to the animals.

Our oldest did not like to read, although he did like to be read to when he was young. I found that he would pick up magazines and comic books if they were lying around. We subscribed to a variety of age appropriate magazine when he was young. As he got older, he loved to read how-to type magazines and books- anything that showed him how to tear something apart and re-build it. He is still not a big reader like the rest of the family, but does enjoy history and still reads technical manuals. We also hated the reading logs-especially the ones they were supposed to keep over the summer. We usually filled them in a couple days before school started each fall and just faked it all. Our other kids were big readers and read a lot over the summers, but it ruined the fun if they had to track it all.

On the other hand, our youngest loved to read and was reading chapter books at age 4. However, he stopped reading for pleasure in high school- he did not enjoy many of the books that were required reading and resented that he was forced to read multiple books that he did not enjoy. He is just now starting to read for pleasure again now that he has graduated from college. Granted he has not had much extra time for recreational reading over the last few years, but he still says that high school almost ruined reading for him.

Tell her she isn’t allowed to have a book today.

I have a friend whose youngest was not much of a reader compared to the other kids and parents. It turned out that while her vision was 20-20 she had trouble focusing so trying to keep her eye on the page was a real strain.

I don’t think everyone has to, has to be an avid reader, but I think I’d keep trying to see if you can find things that picque her interest. My youngest wasn’t reading on grade level for a long time, but his interest level was far beyond that so I read him big fat novels. He was also very interested in naval warfare and I read far too many books about naval battles of World War II. (Guess what he’s in the Navy now!) We used to read DH’s medical school anatomy text books to our oldest - he knew all the parts of the inner ear at age four.

I think everyone hates reading logs! My oldest read plenty, but the third grade one was full of questions that assumed you were reading fiction. “Who was the major character?” “What is the setting?” Since one of his favorite books that year was “Visual Basic for Dummies” answers were “There is no setting. There are no characters.” Luckily his teacher just told him not to worry. She knew he was reading.

Another thing to throw out there - see what she thinks of wordles or almost wordless books. I’m thinking of David Wiesner’s Tuesday or Chris Van Allsburg’s The Mysteries of Harris Burdick.

I had a friend who child did not like to read until they started listening to audio books. The boy loved them and if it was a really good book, he would get frustrated by the slow pace of the audio book and pick up the actual book to read himself. I also agree with letting her choose anything she wants to read:magazines, catalogs, etc. Is there anyone else she can read too? Perhaps a younger child, or even you while you cook. Tell her you need to get dinner ready but really want to hear, how an age appropriate book to her, ends. Last as others have said, have her eyes checked. Good luck!

Try inviting her to write her own. She tells you her story. You type it up. You could both illustrate it.
But generally, I agree with backing off. Avoid power struggles ( like in toilet training).