<p>We have a 21 year old son who started college at a prestigious university that focused on engineering. Despite doing well in high school, he did not do well in many classes and ended up dropping out midway through his sophomore year. He failed three classes. He took a semester and summer off and worked full time in a warehouse job. He was confident he could do well in our local university. He has now completed a year there and failed 3 more classes and pulled under a 2.0 grade average so is on academic probation. He continues to live at home but thinks moving out will help him be more responsible. He has also started ADHD medicine which helped his focus a little. He is frustrated with test taking. He does well with homework but does badly on tests. He continues to pursue an engineering degree, although we have encouraged him to look at other degrees. Any suggestions or thoughts? He has an academic advisor appointment this week.</p>
<p>Sounds like either he’s not cut out for engineering or he has poor study habits.</p>
<p>See if you can get him tested for executive function disorder or other learning disabilities that affect his ability to organize his time. I’m no expert, but I have learned that many smart kids have issues that keep them from doing their best. Engineering is a very tough major; this may be contributing to his challenges. Consider taking time off or doing classes at a CC while he gets his study habits to improve. Good luck.</p>
<p>Thank you…we are getting discouraged since we are paying his way. Should we cut off the money? He isn’t presently working and that is another issue.</p>
<p>I don’t think that every failure in life is caused by a disease. Afterall, he was able to get into a prestigious university.</p>
<p>Maybe he is just lazy or unmotivated?</p>
<p>I would cut off the money until you get this sorted out. Taking and failing classes is money down a rathole.</p>
<p>All this attempting and failure would have to lead to depression and low self esteem. I would want to get to the cause of the problem. If he was not putting in effort, or partying, then cutting out funding would make sense. However, if there is an underlying learning disability or depression, then cutting funding wouldn’t treat the problem. Although it would be good for him to be independent, it might be better to know what is going on with him first before adding more responsibilities.
If he is attending class and doing well on homework, it would seem to me that he is trying. The problem seems to be the tests. It would make sense that on top of what is keeping him from being successful, there would be test anxiety now after so much failure.
Take a look at what is going on with the tests. Is he not able to finish them in time? With engineering, is he making careless math errors- like getting numbers in the wrong columns, but he understands the concept. Careless errors would cause him to get the problem wrong anyway.
If he has ADHD he may need extended time on tests, or take a test in a quiet room without distractions. He may need to do math on graph paper instead of lined paper to keep numbers in columns. He might need counseling for anxiety or depression, or help with executive function and organization.
Most colleges have an office of disabilities and perhaps they can refer you to someone who can do the appropriate testing. Colleges also have career centers to help students find something they are suited for. Classes can be put on hold and, if possible, he can work some while you look into what is going on.</p>
<p>If he got into a prestigious university he must have had a high GPA and high ACT/SAT scores. That indicates he’s able to perform at a high level. How do you suddenly get ADHD (which some argue is a phoney disease) or acquire a learning disability?</p>
<p>It does make sense that he could be suffering from depression.</p>
<p>^ I have known of students who had subtle learning disabilities that did not affect them until the academic load of college, or the emotional consequences of failing while making effort were increased. Anxiety and depression can affect attention.
I agree with the possibility that not all failure is an illness, but if this student is attending class, doing well on homework, but failing tests, then it seems something is going on that is worth looking into. If he is going to class, doing his work, and putting in effort, he’s not lazy. Even if he was an excellent student, and there is a change, then what happened? It is possible that engineering isn’t the best path for him, maybe not even college, but if the goal is his independence, then turning him loose without direction or support for problems might not get him there.</p>
<p>riporin that is a common misconception. High perforfming HS students can mask the underlying problems which don’t surface until the work becomes too hard to compensate. DD was not diagnosed until after her freshman year at Rice. In HS she could manage around the LD issues but at Rice she no longer could. After testing and the right accommodations she was back on track and did just fine. Accommodations are like glasses. They are tools to assist where a difficulty exists. Try the testing to see if there is an underlying issue. If he were physically ill you would not hesitate to get testing done to see what was wrong. If nothing turns up then you can go to other approaches.</p>
<p>I’m open to an organic cause for the academic issues, but it’s also possible that he’s ill-suited for engineering or is cutting corners or has issues with his study habits.</p>
<p>Most students that get into prestigious schools have taken numerous AP/dual enrollment classes so he should be acquainted with managing a heavy workload.</p>
<p>If he is studying an appropriate amount of time and has tried tutoring and other avenues… I would take a close look at the grades in non-engineering classes. It is possible he just isn’t going to succeed in engineering. It happens. If he does well in non-engineering classes then he might need to change his major if he wants a degree. If he doesn’t do well in any classes then maybe college isn’t the answer right now. A few more years with real world working experience might give him the ability to connect the classroom with his brain. I’ve seen it happen where 25 or 26 and some years of work experience really makes a difference for people. Medications are not always the magic bullet that people think they will be.</p>
<p>I think the way we grade in high school: class participating, homework, quizzes, extra credit, regurgitating answers from a very short time learned etc. etc. can “hurt” kids who never really assimilate and live the material and learn to apply it as is generally required by college coursework. It will be interesting to know what the adviser tells him.</p>
<p>Pennylane2011 post # 8 is right on the money. OP, please do have a thorough psychological evaluation done on your son. In addition to ADHD there may be executive function disorder (it used to be considered part of the ADD family, now it’s believed that efd is caused by other chemical misfires in the brain.) And don’t discount extreme anxiety and/or depression both of which may lead to a debilitating loss of self-confidence. That’s a scenario that happened to my son. It’s been heartbreaking to watch him struggle since he left college after a breakdown in college.</p>
<p>I absolutely agree that an evaluation is necessary. I think it should be a NEUROPSYCHOLOGICAL evaluation (with a neuropsychologist), not just a psychological one. A neuropsychologist can detect underlying learning and functioning disabilities that a regular psychological examination wouldn’t pick up.</p>
<p>The story has some synergy with the long and winding road for one of my engineer-wanna-be kids. In that case, Econ was a better fit… and the happy ending was successful graduation and a real job.</p>
<p>Wow…you have all been most helpful, I truly appreciate all the responses and thoughts about our situation. It has given me some good ideas for where to start and what to encourage him to do. Thank you. He has gone to classes, and been responsible with homework so I think he is trying, but the tests seem to trip him up. We will consult another professional and see what might be best. He did do well in high school, but in his words, he “just had to turn things in to get an A.” College is much different. Thank you again for your ideas and thoughts.</p>
<p>Also, remember that in high school, test taking problems are easy to hide. Teachers often give review sessions and help sheets that make what and how to study a snap. Tests generally covered only content, not context or application. Poor test grades were often camouflaged with lots of other grades for home work, and quizzes, and posters, and note book checks, and class participation…</p>
<p>Hang in there, OP.</p>
<p>For those of you who are frustrated parents of bright hs kids that don’t turn in their completed assignments… know that you are not alone
<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/That-Crumpled-Paper-Last-Week/dp/0399535594[/url]”>http://www.amazon.com/That-Crumpled-Paper-Last-Week/dp/0399535594</a></p>
<p>Concerned Mom,
You’ve already had a lot of good suggestions. As a college adjunct who’s dealt with students who’ve “dropped” classes midway through the semester or I had to give a poor grade to for not turning in work, engineering is, well, not easy. Many years ago I went to a college next to an engineering college (Clarkson, in NY). I knew guys who told me it was so hard they would get 50s on the first test. But they were retested and did better on subsequent exams. Engineering courses are difficult. Maybe he could consider a slightly easier science like field biology or environmental science? And there is also the issue of maturity (along with any learning disability) and fitting in. Did he have problems getting along with others or making a friend? That can also affect concentration. I would recommend he read the book “College Rules!” about organizing your life and how to study for various tests, including math oriented tests. He should maybe refocus his major, you should see if he had learning/friendship issues, and read the suggested book on organizing his time. Maybe all this could help.</p>
<p>All, including valedictorians from the top private HSs will need adjustments startign college. Adjuatments to a much higher academic level. While absolutely every kid needs to adjust, not all of them understand this requirement. If kid does not understand it and in addition decided to have the absolutely hardest major (harder than science, harder than pre-med), the combo of low maturity level/the most challenging major will not produce positive results.<br>
Kepp in mind that there are NO High Schools in the USA, none, zero that prepare kids for colleges, for lowest ranked public state colleges. It is part of the student’s responsibility to adjust. These are not my personal comments. They are my D’s. She graduated #1 from the top private HS in our area that includes more than our home town. My D. went to the non-flagship public state University where she witnessed many in her Honors program (consisted primarily of valedictorians - only top 200 applicants were accepted to Honors) who fall out of their original major, none of them were in engineering though…</p>
<p>Thanks for the suggestions. We will look up that book “College Rules.” It sounds helpful, especially with time management. He has always had lots of friends, he is fairly social, sometimes to his detriment because he will choose activities over studying. He has made good choices, overall, with types of friends though, and is not into partying. He is now considering some other majors and also seeing how he does in a physics class this summer. The environmental engineering might be another option. I appreciate all the helpful comments and ideas. It really has helped with some conversations we have had with him.</p>