<p>Thanks for the perspective, MommaJ. This is exactly why I posted in the Parents’ section! I don’t know about the characterization of Cuba as a “repressive regime” necessarily (things are much more complicated than that), but that’s beside the point.</p>
<p>The general feel that I’m getting from the thread is (1) Get a job, and (2) Get some perspective. Makes sense.</p>
<p>tamasha, I am sure my son would say the same thing about me when it comes to money matters. 
I think I am the ultimate helicopter dad. haha, I get restless if I or my wife don’t hear from him for more than a couple of days.</p>
<p>Don’t know your dad, so I can’t really speak for him. Perhaps he feels that you don’t understand the value of money. Trust me, most south asian parents feel that way about their children.</p>
<p>Just be patient with your dad and everything will be alright. :)</p>
<p>I’m now 60 years old. My DH felt that his Dad was helicoptering most of his life. i kept saying that he just wanted to be helpful and feel needed. My H has been very successful in life, more successful than his Dad though they were both very successful. Can’t we just want to feel a little needed by our kids? Sometimes all I can do is make some cookies or clean the house.</p>
<p>Can you ask your Dad for advice on some other less important aspect of your life that would
give you something in common to discuss? That way maybe he could feel wanted?</p>
<p>So maybe if you called him and asked him about cooking, gardening,music, current events etc…</p>
<p>That would give you some common ground and he could feel like you value his opinion</p>
<p>I agree with the others about getting a job.
Good Luck!</p>
<p>I think you’ve received some very worthwhile advice. In order for you to become financially independent, it would be very helpful if you started to save as much money as possible before you graduate. Get a part-time job now. Once you graduate, you need to find a full-time or several part-time jobs. My husband and I both had a full time job but also worked a second part time job to save up money to buy our own house. We were able to buy our first home 2-1/2 years after we graduated from college. Once you start earning money, you need to be very careful about how you spend your money. My husband and I used to keep track of almost every penny that we spent and we set financial goals for ourselves. Becoming financially independent is actually rather simple in concept. You need to make money and live within your means. Then you will no longer be dependent upon your parents to support you.</p>
<p>"You say u are an “adult” and that you spent YOUR OWN money on this vacation w your boyfriend. From what I read, you have a sense of entitlement that your parents money should be spent on your education and upkeep, while your money should be yours to spend on your own pleasure. </p>
<p>Why are you not using your earnings to defray the cost of your education like other kids do? If I were your parents, I would be incredibly pi$$ed off, too."</p>
<p>I think you’re out of line to suggest this. I would not accept a penny from my kids to defray the cost of their education. That’s my responsibility, and I sense her parents feel the same way.</p>
<p>I’m a little confused. Where did the actual money to pay for your boyfriend come from?</p>
<p>I’m a helicopter parent and freely admit it. My D went on vacation with her boyfriend in college. However, they had both had jobs that covered all of their leisure expenses, so it didn’t come from me even indirectly. I felt confident in treating her like an adult because as someone who earned, budgeted, and otherwise managed her spending cash for all of college, she was acting like a responsible adult.</p>
<p>My D2 was asked to do a prestigious internship in her field in a country that is currently unstable and is not always friendly to Americans. I had no problem at all in saying no.</p>
<p>I agree with others who suggest you get financially independent from your parents as soon as possible after graduation. The job market IS getting better but you will need to be flexible. From what you wrote, it sounds like you want to be a writer or a journalist (correct me if I guessed wrong!) which can be difficult in terms of jobs. The son of a friend graduated with a humanities degree from a good university and wanted to be a comedy writer. And he wanted to do it on his own, financially. His first job out of college? He was a waiter. And he did improv at night. And he wrote in his spare time. And he hung out with theater types. And he and his friends made videos. And wrote plays. And then he got a job in a video store. And he kept writing. </p>
<p>And in time it started to pay off. A couple of his plays were produced (in small, experimental theaters) and he kept working in the video store. And some of his videos that he posted on-line were noticed and eventually he was hired (freelance) by an on-line company that needed humor writers. And he kept plugging away at his video store job during the day and his writing at night. And now, 5 or so years after graduation, he is working for one of the big on-line humor sites and can support himself on that salary. </p>
<p>It’s not an easy road, but if you’re not “too good” to take some crappy jobs along the way, you can support yourself and follow your dreams. Good luck!!!</p>
<p>Proud Mary –</p>
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<p>Very good advice. It’s unfortunate that some college grads aren’t willing to take those crappy jobs. They move back home with their parents and wait for their “dream” job to land in their laps.</p>
<p>tamasha –</p>
<p>I gave this some more thought this morning. I think your father is doing you a disservice when he keeps telling you he doesn’t want you to worry about money. He may not be aware of it. Tell him that you want to learn how to become financially independent and ask him if he can give you some advice. I’m sure he would love to impart some of his knowledge to you.</p>
<p>Tamasha, will all due respect I think you want to have your cake and eat it too. If you do not want your father to monitor your spending, then don’t spend his money. I agree with Calmom’s advice.</p>
<p>Life follows the Golden Rule: he who has the gold makes the rules. This applies to parents and dependent children. If you want independence, you will need to work toward it. It is a process. As soon as you are self-supporting, you can make decisions without reference to your parents’ wishes or opinions.</p>
<p>an open heart discussion with your parent is needed.</p>
<p>^^^My friend was given such an advice by her husband (born, raised American) - to have an open heart discussion with her mother while they were visiting her parents in Asia. As a 35 year old woman she felt abandoned by her mother because she was sent to boarding school overseas when she was a young girl. It ended with everyone crying. She was called ungrateful for all the sacrifices her parents made. Her mother, through her tears, went through everything they did for her since child birth. My friend had to apologize profusely to her mother to get her to stop crying. Meanwhile her H was hiding upstairs pretending he had nothing to do with it. Joy Luck Club book wouldn’t be written if open heart discussion was a solution.</p>