Help in English editing for a second grader.

englishhelpneede · July 17, 2009, 10:01am

My elementary school second grader read her first novel Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin. She loved it so much that she wrote a two-page summary to me and gave it to me. My problem, English is a second language to me and I want her to improve her writing skills but I have less knowledge of English grammar. I am looking for a parent or student who is a good editor to edit her two-page report. She is reading 10-15 books every week but preparing a book report once a week of very famous novels. Any editing help will be appreciated. If you are willing to help, please send me an email <a href="mailto:englishhelpneeded@gmail.com">englishhelpneeded@gmail.com</a>. Thanks

englishhelpneede · July 17, 2009, 10:07am

In exchange I can help with math/science.

Eriatarka · July 17, 2009, 10:22am

She read Pride and Prejudice at 7/8? The hell?

englishhelpneede · July 17, 2009, 10:27am

Sorry these are edited version designed for high schoolers. She has read so far swiss family robinson, tale of two cities, Prince and pauper and wants to read all the novels that our library holds for 9-12th graders section. She loves reading other than swimming, playing tennis, practice bele and of course play ninetendo.

MBA_Grad_2009 · July 17, 2009, 10:47am

That’s impressive, and to think I am proud of my D2 reading one grade ahead of her level.

englishhelpneede · July 17, 2009, 11:07am

The Prince And The Pauper
By Mark Twain

(Summary by xxxxxxx)

One autumn day during the 1500s, two babies were born in same and different ways, both of them were boys also had the same birthday and lived in London, but Tom Canty’s family was poor so had to beg. Edward Todor was born in a Palace and was the son of King Henry the 8th. One day Tom observes the palace suddenly a solider tells him to mind his manners and ready to beat him up, but the Prince stops him and lets Tom in. He lets Tom have some food and asks him questions. One question makes him want to be a pauper, so they switch places for fun. However, the fun turns into disaster Edward is getting made fun of and beaten up for claiming he is the prince, and runs into Tom’s terrible mean father. While Tom is making royal mistakes, like bowing to Edward’s family. The King believes that the Prince is sick from all the studying and having a memory loss. Tom remembers he became the Prince for fun and plays along with it. Edward is still with Tom’s father and was forcing him to let him go because he was the Prince, but all Tom’s father did was roar with laughter. Tom’s mother become very upset and decided to test if he was really her son. The results told her he was not her son. The day after that they have to pay for the tiny house so they all run, the father garbs Edward’s hand, but someone stops him now Edward is free. AT the Palace the King is dead and Tom is crowned King. While Edward is running some strangers want to kill him, suddenly a tall man jumped out with a sword and everyone backed off. Edward asked what his name was. The stranger quickly responded, said “Miles Hendon.,” and took him. The next morning in the palace Tom wakes up to, find many servants giving him clothes, during midday he sets some prisoner free and goes on. As for Edward, he is missing when Miles come home. He sets to find him and eventually does. They go to see Miles brother Hugh who is very selfish when they get there nobody recognizes him even his wife. He realize that Hugh told everyone he was dead so he could get the property and his wife and he was able to prove it, so Hugh was sent to jail. Edward finally meets Tom again and they were both able to prove that Edward was the real King. Therefore, everyone lived happily ever after.

I would apprecaite it if anyone can point out grammatical errors and correct it. Thanks

Jolynne_Smyth · July 17, 2009, 11:25am

So, just out of curiosity, how much work do you do w/your second grader independently, to foster the reading/math/science, etc.? I’m assuming this ability didn’t come just from attending ordinary, American 1st & 2nd grade…

Although, I will say my daughter’s best friend had read all of the Harry Potter books several times before age 6. Seriously. But, her mom worked w/her constantly, nearly since birth…

englishhelpneede · July 17, 2009, 11:41am

She wanted to read as when she was little, she saw a movie where a liitle girl alone went to library and read all kind of books. The girl was adopted by her teacher. Her parents thought reading was bad. When she was lillte asked her that she wants to learn as much as possible. We have encourged her. It is a lot of work but it is fun. We let her make her own choices and only intervene if there is a immeditae serious health issue involved. We want her to think independently and develop her own thinking skills.

She knows she alone is responsible for her education, we as a parent can only provide means to satisfy her curiosity. But in return for her hard work, we are there for her. We tell her mistakes are more importnat than sucessas as one can learn lifelong lessons from mistakes. And we tell her we still makes mistakes as an adult, but we want to improve ourselves.

We have shown her first hand poverty and other real life issues, so she understand that life is improved but working what one like and be responisble for their actions.

Jolynne_Smyth · July 17, 2009, 11:58am

Interesting! Good luck to you and to her!

chuy · July 17, 2009, 12:02pm

Here’s a quick rundown of some of the grammatic errors I saw, but I’m just an engineer.

One autumn day during the 1500s, two babies were born in same and different ways{Unclear. She’s trying to get across a complex thought here, basically that there were some similarities in the children’s births but also some differences. She also needs to put a period here instead of a comma}, both of them were boys also had the same birthday and lived in London, but Tom Canty’s family was poor so had to beg. Edward Todor was born in a Palace and was the son of King Henry the 8th. One day Tom observes {observes probably isn’t the word she was trying to use here. Something like ‘was looking at’ would be better} the palace {when} suddenly a solider tells him to mind his manners and {is} ready to beat him up, but the Prince stops him and lets Tom in. He lets Tom have some food and asks him questions. One question makes him want to be a pauper, so they switch places for fun. However, the fun turns into disaster {when} Edward is getting made fun of and beaten up for claiming he is the prince, and runs into Tom’s terrible mean father.{instead of a period there should be a comma} While Tom is making royal mistakes, like bowing to Edward’s family. The King believes that the Prince is sick from all the studying and having a memory loss. Tom remembers he became the Prince for fun and plays along with it. Edward is still with Tom’s father and was forcing him to let him go because he was the Prince, but all Tom’s father did was roar with laughter. Tom’s mother become{s} very upset and decided to test if he was really her son. The results told her he was not her son. The day after that they have to pay for the tiny house so they all run, the father garbs Edward’s hand, but someone stops him{period here} now Edward is free. AT the Palace the King is dead and Tom is crowned King. While Edward is running some strangers want to kill him, {either a period instead of the comma or the word ‘when’ needs to be put here} suddenly a tall man jumped out with a sword and everyone backed off. Edward asked what his name was. The stranger quickly responded, said “Miles Hendon.,” and took him. The next morning in the palace Tom wakes up to, find many servants giving him clothes,{either a period instead of a comma or the word ‘and’ here} during midday he sets some prisoner free and goes on. As for Edward, he is missing when Miles come home. He sets to find him and eventually does. They go to see Miles brother Hugh who is very selfish when they get there nobody recognizes him even his wife. He realize that Hugh told everyone he was dead so he could get the property and his wife and he was able to prove it, so Hugh was sent to jail. Edward finally meets Tom again and they were both able to prove that Edward was the real King. Therefore, everyone lived happily ever after.

I might have missed a couple things. One thing that ran throughout was that she kept changing verb tenses (past and present) although she still may have a foggy idea of how those work. That and the run-on sentences I mentioned were the only real errors, and it is probably just stuff that hasn’t been covered in school yet. She’s picked up an excellent vocabulary from reading, but you can’t really pick up the ins and outs of grammar without having it taught to you. She’s got an excellent mind though, and she’s going to be something amazing if her interest in learning is sustained.

englishhelpneede · July 17, 2009, 1:05pm

Chuy:

Thanks a lot as it will allow me to improve my grammar too.

BunsenBurner · July 17, 2009, 1:35pm

Here is a good book for your child to read at some point (I like this illustrated version):

[Amazon.com:</a> The Elements of Style Illustrated: William Strunk Jr., E.B. White, Maira Kalman: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0143112724/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_3/186-7201352-4688024?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_r=14TET7FH2AS1P95FV40W&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_p=304485901&pf_rd_i=020530902X]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0143112724/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_3/186-7201352-4688024?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_r=14TET7FH2AS1P95FV40W&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_p=304485901&pf_rd_i=020530902X)

If she is an avid reader, she will absorb a lot of grammar simply by reading the books she likes.

thumper1 · July 17, 2009, 1:44pm

Actually…I would encourage her to read and to write…but I wouldn’t emphasize the need to make corrections to her writing all the time. What she wrote was actually quite good and if holistically viewed, would be an exemplary piece of writing for a second grader. The important thing is her ability to express her ideas and she is doing so nicely.

I am NOT saying that grammar isn’t important…grammar IS important.

My grandfather used to take all of my writing and red pencil it. I finally got to the point that I just didn’t write to him or show him any of my writing. I knew that each time I wrote something, I wasn’t going to get a note back…I was going to get MY work with all kinds of criticisms of the grammar, spelling, whatever.

I would hate to see your daughter lose her love of writing. Give her a writing journal and let her write about what she reads for herself.

Use something besides her own writing to teach her the grammar.

mathmom · July 17, 2009, 2:04pm

I had an advanced reader too, but I really think you might want to reconsider her reading choices. I don’t think a second grader has the life experiences to make reading a comedy of 18th century manners appropriate. There are plenty of books at the same level of vocabulary and sentence structure that would be much better. The Prince and Pauper is a good choice, I’d also suggest other 19th and early 20th century novelists. Authors to consider: Louisa May Alcott, Frances Hodgens Burnett, Gene Stratton-Porter, Rudyard Kipling, and Robert Louis Stevenson. I’m also not a fan of abridged versions of classics. There’s just so much wonderful literature out there for kids, it’s a shame to rush into the advanced stuff just because it’s advanced.

As to the writing, I think it’s been covered pretty well. I wouldn’t do a lot of correcting of her work - unless she’s asking for it.

englishhelpneede · July 17, 2009, 3:24pm

bunsenburner:

I did give her book for her birthday the Amazon.com: The Elements of Style: William Strunk Jr., E.B. White, Maira Kalman: Books

But I will buy the Illustrated one.

Thumper and mathmom:
Thanks for your suggestions. For time being I will encourage her to keep writing these summaries and when she is a little older she can edit herself. She was telling me about authors Rudyard Kipling, and Robert Louis Stevenson as she has brought novels written by them.

thumper1 · July 17, 2009, 4:16pm

I would suggest you get this youngster a library card. There are wonderful choices of literature at her level at the LIBRARY.And it’s free.

HarrietMWelsch · July 17, 2009, 4:42pm

Right. Like Matilda, OP - the Roald Dahl book that the movie you mention is based on. (And the reference did make me wonder if this thread is sincere.)

A good children’s librarian will be a huge help in steering her toward choices that will mean more to her because they have more to do with situations and experiences she can understand (as mathmom said). There are plenty of beautifully written, challenging books that will make much more sense to her. Again, I second mathmom: Abridged versions of classics aren’t going to feed her brain the way you’re hoping they will - the diction and vocabulary have been watered down and the language just isn’t the same.

Help in English editing for a second grader.

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