Help! Is my counselor being discriminatory?

Pre-College Topics High School Life
21

<p>You’re so of a better person than me. By this point (well… I couldn’t really experience your situation, as mine is different) I would have killed her, figuratively. </p>

<p>You can ruin her life quite easily, as in getting her fired. Keep all the emails, and take it to the superintendent. Forget the principal (he was the moron who hired the *****). ON a school board meeting just show the evidence and do not ASK for her severing from the system, demand it. </p>

<p>Also, call the colleges and explain your situation to them. As your college app is important I would not do anything else (well, I would, I would have been out of control by now with this ****). Doing something which would cause her to impede your application is not a good idea. You could always send her an awful email (which makes her feel bad, not insults, but hurtful ones) and say it’s not you. </p>

<p>Forget the last paragraph of this post. I can’t even imagine how it must be for you with this doggy little *****. Speak with the superintendent. If that doesn’t work speak with the mayor.</p>

<p>Oh, and of course, you MUST get this in your local or state (if there is one) newspaper. Call the people (they would LOVE this stuff, they need drama) and give it to them. They will probably make it even worse than it is.</p>

22

<p>It sounds like she doesn’t think you deserve to go to an Ivy, and that she thinks you’re trying to get in based on your circumstances(income, URM, etc) so now she’s trying “disprove” and scrutinize your circumstances. </p>

<p>This is, of course, ridiculous. She should be trying to portray you in the best light possible, which means emphasizing the challenges you’ve overcome, not minimizing them. And her correspondence, written and spoken, has been extremely rude. Please try to get a new counselor. Getting her fired may be satisfying but the real concern is a new counselor, fast.</p>

23

<p>I say you do it yourself.</p>

<p>Ignore your counselor. I mean… she’ll have to probably write a recommendation for you… but otherwise… you do the app yourself.</p>

<p>My dad had C’s and D’s in high school… and his gc told him he couldn’t get into college, so he applied on his own. He ended up getting into Appalachian. And then he ended up in law school. He did that all by himself.</p>

<p>Go figure.</p>

24

<p>Well, the OP CAN’T ignore the counselor.</p>

<p>“she’ll have to probably write a recommendation for you… but otherwise… you do the app yourself.” < If she remains as the counselor and writes a rec, it might say something along the lines of “OP is SUCH a LIAR! She/He claims to be hispanic, but doesn’t look at all like a hispanic! And apparently the mother is “sick,” but I saw her at a softball game once and she looked healthy as a horse!”</p>

25

<p>True. But there’s not really much you can do… unless you ask to change guidance counselors.</p>

<p>But that’s not an option at my school. (We only have one gc.)</p>

<p>I mean… I’m in the super low income level. We’re not under the poverty line, but I think we’re about 2k from it. And I go to a private school. And my father is a lawyer. Do you know how many times I’ve been accused of lying because I said I wasn’t rich?</p>

<p>It kind of makes you miserable when kids whose parents might make two or three times as much as yours say that you’re rich.</p>

<p>If you act intelligent or your parents are hard workers… or if you carry yourself in a certain way… People for whatever reason will NOT believe that you are actually poor. Or disadvantaged or whatever.</p>

<p>And… it just puts you in an even worse place.</p>

26

<p>If she doesn’t believe you are Hispanic, show her some documentation of your family’s heritage (parents’ passports, naturalization, birth certificates, etc.) … that’s what I did and your counselor really can’t dispute that. Regardless, she is still really out of line try switching counselors if you can.</p>

27

<p>Change counselors then?</p>

28

<p>Please don’t follow…these: No, don’t punch her, don’t get her fire or something, and don’t punch her in her face…all of these recommendations can get you in big trouble.</p>

<p>I’m sure there are better suggestions…</p>

<p>Do you feel better with a different counselor; I know some wonderful counselors, probably you have one at your school. I will suggest you to approach that type of counselor and inform her that you feel comfortable with her approach and will like to change counselors. Try this without complaining about your first counselor, to see if it works. Sometimes, complaining can backfire…</p>

29

<p>I do not think you are over-reacting at all. This “counselor” is a disaster and someone in a position of authority over her needs to know about it.</p>

<p>I do think you need to formally document, in writing, all of the things that have happened. Print out the email and also write down right now – as accurately as you and your mother can recall – exactly what was said at the game, before you both forget. Ask for a meeting with the principal (with the head of the counseling department if that is her supervisor). Do NOT jump the chain of command and go directly to the school board, as that will just tick off the principal since the school board will ask him what he’s done about it and you haven’t given him a chance to do anything. If you don’t get any satisfaction from the principal, THEN you go the School Board. </p>

<p>Bring your mom with you, if you can, to the meeting to provide her first-hand account as well. Do not get sarcastic or angry, but remain calm and show that you are acting far more maturely than the counselor. Specifically bring up the problem with having this woman – who is obviously biased against you – writing your letter of recommendation and get the principal to commit to finding a suitable alternative (assigning you another counselor, writing the letter himself, etc.).</p>

<p>I’m so sorry that you were subjected to this awful behavior. Applying to colleges is stressful enough without having this added burden. I hope it will be resolved soon. Good luck!</p>

30

<p>Thanks for all of the responses! It’s nice to know that others were thinking along the same lines as I am. Unfortunately, my school only has one College Counselor, so I’m pretty much SOL. My mom wants to wait for her to write my recommendation letter until we complain to the superintendent. She doesn’t think it’s fair that we have to provide documentation for two very important things in our lives (ethnicity, and her illness). I’m concerned that my counselor may question my honesty in this matter, but, I don’t feel like I can do much at this point. I mean, I could show her the syringes my mom uses to inject herself with medicine? Or I could show her my mom’s birth certificate that states her birthplace, etc. I don’t know. I feel really concerned about this whole situation.</p>

31

<p>Post on the Parents Forum. It is an excellent place to get wise advice including from people who work for school systems or who have had to handle similar situations for their kids.</p>

<p>You need to complain now to the superintendent and principal. Otherwise, the GC will write whatever she wants, and it’s like that letter will be damaging to you.</p>

<p>If you and your mom complain now, the GC will be writing the recc under strict supervision, and you’re likely to get a much better recommendation than if you don’t complain and none of her supervisors look the letter over. You also should not check the box on the form that indicates you’ll never look at the recommendation. </p>

<p>An alternative would be to have the principal write your letter after you and your mom express concerns to the principal. I believe that most colleges will accept a principal’s letter in place of the GC’s. You and your mother even could contact the colleges, explain the situation, and to ask them if they would take a principal’s recommendation instead of the GC’s.</p>

<p>One of my friends who has worked in admissions at a top 20 LAC said that when, for instance a URM has high test scores, but low grades or has outstanding stats and ECs yet has some mediocre reccs, the admissions officers wonder if the student is being victimized by racism. They particularly wonder about this if the URM is in the racial minority in their school.</p>

<p>Speaking as a black parent who successfully went to bat at her son’s school for kids – including her son – who were being discriminated against by a bigoted teacher who had given the students inappropriate grades.</p>

<p>There literally was no reason for the grades. The teacher didn’t even have a rubric for the grades. Most of the work they were graded on was for group projects that the students also had publicly presented.</p>

<p>I complained to the principal, bringing evidence, and also complained to the assistant school superintendent. The principal changed the students’ grades.</p>

<p>The kind of situation that you’re in is one in which there’s such blatant and destructive bigotry and incompetence that the worst thing that you could do in response is to ignore the problem. The teacher is stupid and bigoted enough to be saying such things to you and your mom. Imagine what she would say behind your back – to teachers and to college admissions officers.</p>

<p>BTW, when I applied to Harvard, I asked a teacher who had taught me social studies for 2 years to write a recommendation for me. I had gone above and beyond researching one of her assignments, even traveling out of town to do research. I also planned to major in that area, and I had excellent test scores in the subject.</p>

<p>She agreed to write my recommendation, and later, when I told her about my Harvard acceptance, the teacher replied that she had told Harvard to reject me because she didn’t think I could do the academic work Harvard would reply. I graduated on time from Harvard with honors in that academic area. </p>

<p>I was the only black student in my high school class of 500 students, who except for about 2 Asian students were all white.</p>

<p>Anyway, please take it from me: Do not be passive about your situation. You and your mother need to complain to the GC’s supervisors. If your mother won’t complain, you must do so yourself. It would help if you can get a trusted adult to go with you, too. And do get more advice from Parents Forum. Students are welcome to post there, and many do post to get parents’ advice.</p>

32

<p>One last thing, if you got a score of about 185 or higher on the PSAT junior year, you may qualify for National Hispanic Scholar, which could lead to merit aid, college admissions and other opportunities. However, your high school would need to verify that you’re Hispanic (to be considered Hispanic, you’d need to be at least one-quarter Hispanic.</p>

<p>This is more reason for you to make sure that an informed, nonbigot will be handling your college and scholarship paperwork on your high school’s behalf. You don’t want your idiot of a GC denying your Hispanic because you don’t look like the Frito Bandito or whatever her stereotypes are of Hispanics.</p>

33

<p>

How does getting this ***** fired get her in trouble? It’s beyond me…</p>

34

<p>Greenery, the counseler is openly racist or at least extremely discriminatory. I think it’s time she got fired.</p>

35

<p>Well, I was really concerned about the quality of the advice the OP was receiving: I did not like the recommendations to punch the GC, to get her fire or something, and to punch her in her face…all of these recommendations can get her in big trouble.</p>

<p>I’m sure there are better suggestions…and Northstarmom has posted several great ideas:
“Post on the Parents Forum. It is an excellent place to get wise advice including from people who work for school systems or who have had to handle similar situations for their kids.” and other suggestions according to her experiences.</p>

<p>Still, I don’t know how is the Principal of the school…Is she supporting the GC?
Same agenda? </p>

<p>I agree that she (the OP) needs a better person to write those recommendations. Now that we know that there is only one GC, she needs to follow up with some truthful staff member.</p>

36

<p>"Still, I don’t know how is the Principal of the school…Is she supporting the GC?
Same agenda? "</p>

<p>If the principal is supporting the GC, the OP and their mom need to go to the school board and/or school superintendent. Start dropping the word “lawsuit”. There’s probably a basis for a suit citing racial discrimination as well as discrimination against the disabled.</p>

<p>Whatever the OP’s race, it also would be wise to consult with an organization like ACLU or the NAACP. </p>

<p>This is not the time to be passive. Passivity only will give the GC (and anyone else like her at the school) free rein to continue implementing their bigoted agenda.</p>

37

<p>The education system is a very big machine, and they ALL support each other. This individual will not get fired, I guaranty you. These people have the “nack” to spot vulnerability and exploit it.</p>

38

<p>wow seriously get her fired NOW</p>

39

<p>“The education system is a very big machine, and they ALL support each other. This individual will not get fired, I guaranty you. These people have the “nack” to spot vulnerability and exploit it.”</p>

<p>Whether or not the GC is fired isn’t what to focus on. Getting the OP appropriate help and support through the college application process is what to focus on, and that’s why the OP and their parent(s) or other adult supporter need to talk to the principal, and if the principal doesn’t help, then they need to talk to the school board or school superintendent.</p>

40

<p>any teacher/administrator can act as a guidance counselor. it’s perfectly okay for someone else to act as your GC, even if they have no experience doing so. they won’t have a lot of experience “selling” students, but believe me, anything will be better than what your current counselor is going to write. talk to the principal. talk to the superintendent if necessary.</p>