<p>"“bad habits do not necessarily make for bad people.” "</p>
<p>Very true.</p>
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<p>Do you think this is narrow minded?</p>
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<p>Same question.</p>
<p>At any rate, I don’t think going online and arguing with people in college confidential is a very mature representation of a grown women with a huge amount of life experience.</p>
<p>I think that what you are trying to do is a good(Making your son more sociable). I just think the way you present it(and yourself) online is bad. </p>
<p>You seem somewhat judgmental and condescending to anyone who posts anything against you in the forum.</p>
<p>Apparently it runs in the family.</p>
<p>SMR, I get what you’re saying. Speaking as someone who used to be pretty rigid, I can attest to the usefulness of being open-minded and not immediately writing off people who do stuff I wouldn’t do. My mother would have certainly given me the same advice (she actively encouraged me to attend more parties). </p>
<p>However, the way in which you phrased your concerns makes me cringe and wonder. You claim that you are an incredibly open-minded person who has a history of tolerance, but your open-mindedness cannot conceal the contempt that you hold for his friends and their activities: </p>
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<p>And then there’s that bit that Axion004 quoted in the post above mine. It really sounds like you have an axe to grind against these people. You may not be able to be convinced otherwise, but I really hope this isn’t the attitude you’re conveying to your son (consciously or not). Otherwise, the message comes across as, “I want you to socialize with people who will one day be in a position to help you and who have better things to do than play Pokemon cards. Your current friends are losers.” Like you said, your goal is to make him realize that he needs to learn how to interact with all kinds of people and that relaxing his strict standards is not a moral failing (which is a useful lesson), but you don’t want your own prejudices to cloud that message.</p>
<p>In any case, it seems like your son is already learning how to do that, so good for him.</p>
<p>^ +1</p>
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<p>The thing is, I don’t have to rid myself of all prejudice at all times. I realize that’s the prevailing facile pablum-for-the-masses social directive, but I don’t subscribe completely to that. You probably won’t when you’re older. Or maybe you will. And “judgment and condescension”… well, that’s in the eye of the beholder (oftentimes used to describe the person who is actually just responding to the same… yet not as often applied, especially by the speaker, to he or she who dished it out. Ironic, huh? One persons “j. and c.” is another person’s “what - I was only giving my opinion!”)</p>
<p>Nor do I have to conform to someone’s notion of how a “mature” (or of whatever age) person should conduct and present him/herself. (narrow-minded much?) That’s another thing you worry less about as you get some years under your belt. I realize you guys are just now learning, though. And everyone is different in their philosophies and beliefs, in addition to that. </p>
<p>Internet forums - gotta love the way people of every perspective possible are thrown together in a barrel to discuss civilly… or duke it out.</p>
<p>He’s out of the nest. Let it go. Seriously, I am so happy my family did not inherit the Sikorsky gene. I would be embarrassed if I were your son and I knew you were on this website talking about how to mold my perception of people.</p>
<p>Well, of course he doesn’t know! And actually would not care, as long as he is not identifiable (how do I know that? Oh, I sort of know him after lots of years - hard to imagine, huh? Based on similar events in the past. Hard to imagine that I and he might not be just like some preconceived notion of how you think cardboard-cutout stereotype examples of an 18-yr-old and his mom might be. Yet you feel free to make plenty of commentary on our shortcomings, even as you don’t know .0001% of anything about us.)</p>
<p>And get this… did you see it? He is GLAD I butted in. Hello… read that part… people have skimmed it over. I guess that despite that apparently happy outcome - because it came from my butting in - that makes him a loser, unfortunate to have me as a parent, as pathetic as I am as a person, cut from the same faulty cloth (read: Not like you or not like your idea of How People Should Be), so he might as well just declare himself a failure right now or at least cut ties with the unacceptable person that is me, and run far and fast…</p>
<p>LOL, I’m done here; I got some input. Continue insulting the person you believe you know based on typed words on a screen after she has left the building, as it seems to satisfy y’all… it is a bit weird as uses for your time go, though. You guys just have it all together - you have it all figured out - so keep on imparting your wisdom to others as you seem to do all day (I wasn’t going to mention it, but really… college students, on here all day? Hundreds - thousands of posts for some of you? Think about it). Just try to keep your minds open a crack. Sometimes people think their mind is so open… but they don’t see the invisible shield around it. Keep the bathroom door cracked and the light on at night!</p>
<p>Hahaha it is so like people my age to get all defiant when parents try to share their advice. I hate how 18 and 19 year olds act like they are independent and don’t need help by their parents, unless that help involves tuition, room and board, insurance, car, gas, book money, food money etc; You can’t leech off your parents and then act like you know more than them. </p>
<p>I ignored my parents for years until I realized they are usually right. I get that whole teenage agnst and the whole I know what’s best for me thing. But as I recall the son asked the OP for advice, she didn’t just throw herself into it. </p>
<p>Geeze, it’s amazing how immature some of the college kids are on here, I am ashamed!</p>
<p>“I have not excluded people from being my friends if they smoke cigarettes; some people actually won’t have anything to do with smokers. Some people drink more than I do (I used to not drink at some stages of my life but I never excluded people who do.) Now that I’m thinking of it, I’ve been friends with and even married to (previous marriage) people who use drugs and even heavy-duty ones, while I was married, though I didn’t do that at all. I was raised among people who excused smoking/drinking/drug use in others; many people wouldn’t even consider interacting with known drug users.”</p>
<p>This was what I was referring to. If you read my post, I was asking about your preference of friends, not your son’s. Based on the way you were writing about “nerds”, it appeared to me that you would associate with drug dealers (as shown by above post) but not “nerds”. </p>
<p>I was rude in my reply because I watched my younger brother endure years of bullying for being a “nerd”. He finally stopped trying to be “cool” and now has a good base of friends-who all enjoy the occasional video game/anime movie/etc. It just reminded me of how I felt every time he came home upset because he had tried/failed to make friends with a crowd he just didn’t fit in with. Didn’t mean to come off so negatively, I’m just one of those “defensive parent” types. I helped my mom raise my brother, so I’m pretty protective of him. </p>
<p>Sounds like your son is going fine, which is all that matters.</p>