<p>Hi guys I’m new to this site and i just wanted a little feedback before i submit my personal statements.
ESSAY 1
Average height, average weight, and average intelligence, yes everything about me is the definition of average; except for one outstanding detail, my brother Andre. My brother is a special person, because you see whilst most people deal with feuding siblings, my brother suffers from autism. For most people they would see having an autistic family member as a burden. My family however, shows undying support for him and everything he does. My brother plain and simple is a miracle.
Andre struggles through life trying his hardest at everything that he attempts. He has accomplished so much through really adverse hardships. One memory that still glows in my head is the year that he spent all of his time and dedication trying to attain his drivers license. After putting in countless of hours and sleepless nights studying, he unfortunately failed on his first four tries at the written permit test. But, knowing Andre, I believed in him and decided to help him by tutoring him on driving rules and regulations. Through another 2 weeks of harsh learning, he decided to once again take the written test, only to fail once more. Now, at this point most people would have already given up and quit trying. However, once again he tried. On the very next attempt at his permit, he finally succeeded and received his permit. This feat may seem menial and unimportant to a regular person, but Andre is not a regular person.
He is an individual that overcomes personal dilemmas in the only way he knows how, persistence. Andre is a person who will literally never give up until the job is done, and because of this Andre is a person whom I always admire and look up to. Sadly, persistence cannot get you everything, and living costs can become quite substantial, so while I look up to Andre, It is almost certain that he will not be able to sustain the lifestyle that he has grown so accustomed to. Thus, my interest in finance was born. I have always hoped to somehow help Andre sustain his living style in some way, so I figured why not get into the financial world in order to help him out first hand? The main goal in my life is to make sure that I share my happiness with my brother and begin to take care of me as he has taken care of me for most of my life.
So here I am, entering the dawn of my adult years, hoping that everything will turn out to be just as planned, but life is mysterious. Life is an unforgiving fog that will never clear up. However, one thing in my life is certain for me; I must come through for my brother in the scary years of post-parents. I will support him and make sure that he lives his life happily, for in this dense fog called life, my brother acts as the trusty headlights that guide me through the darkness. </p>
<p>ESSAY 2
It was the year 2011, the twilight of sophomore year, fresh off of the best grades of my high school career. I was feeling good and was ready to take on the world and anything she could throw at me. I decided to sign up for supposedly the hardest class on campus, Pre-calculus honors. I was cautioned by every authority figure that had some insight on the matter. However, I could not be fazed by this warning because my genius friends were signed up, and you know what peer pressure is like. I can still remember the words my friends mockingly said; Come on wimp, take the class! It cant be that hard. So, I unwittingly signed up, unbeknownst to me the wicked horrors that were yet to come.
At the start of junior year, starting from the first minute my teacher warned us the difficulty level of this class and gave everyone a chance to drop out. Seriously, what kind of a weakling drops out of something before attempting it? So we rolled on with the school year. Our first lesson was a review of algebra II and I naively thought, Algebra is easy pickings. Boy was I wrong. My sense of adequacy was terribly false; when the test day came I was definitely not prepared. As a result I bombed the test. My situation was bad enough that I had succumbed to hiring a tutor to help me with my studies. The year progressed as I barely kept afloat. The test grades came back one by one: C, D, and C they read. When my mom asked how I was doing in math I had to give her a false sense of well-being by saying Oh you know, pretty well. The truth stood a great distance from being pretty well; rather, it was really heading down south.
Finals season rolled in as my grade was gasping for its dear life at 72%. It was time for me to buckle down and give it my full effort. I got as much studying as any sane man could get the week before the final test. Then came the big test, I gave all I had during that test but when it was all over I walked out of that door feeling a little bit skeptic about the outcome. Two weeks later the grades were posted, I scrolled down to my name and read 73%. That moment I felt such unprecedented joy. I really believe that I as a person grew a little because of pre-calculus, the hardest class on campus. I guess the moral of the story is that life is meaningless without drive. Clearly, failing is something that everybody loathes, however when it comes down to it the only way to succeed is to give an attempt. If you fail, its fine. Just be sure to keep trying afterwards. After all, one does not play in Carnegie Hall without first learning to play an instrument.</p>