<p>Advice please…we leave Tuesday morning for UMD from the west coast. D (freshman) is now quite involved with a boy and is very emotional about leaving, compared to a month ago when she was jumping out of her skin to get to UMD. She is spending every waking moment with him (sometimes til 3 or 4am) He is a very nice boy and if she were staying I could see them in a long-term relationship. But…we leave in THREE DAYS!</p>
<p>This last week has been h#!! and it is tearing her apart, and me as well when I see what she is going through. Any advice out there to help us all cope and somehow manage to actually get on the plane Tuesday morning??</p>
<p>I’m in the same boat, sorta.
But just tell her that everything will be okay.
And if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.</p>
<p>I’m sure they will be fine because of technology now a days… texting/chatting/etc.
Try to look at the bright side of things. Glass half full.
Her going that far doesn’t mean that that’s the end of it, it’s just a short time that they’re physically away from each other. Although the distance may be far and they won’t see each other for awhile, when they do see each other over breaks or whenever, it will be that much more special. </p>
<p>Try to get her to do something really special before she goes. Her being happy will make the flight so much easier. I’m not saying that it won’t be hard, it’ll be easier.</p>
<p>Thanks Justin. It’s now 6am Saturday morning. He left about an hour ago, she has been sobbing for an hour and is now saying that she’s not ready to go to college. It is heartbreaking to see her like this. How do you tell an 18 year old ANYTHING that they will actually hear? I am truly worried that she will not get on the plane on Tuesday. I’m really not sure how to handle this at this late date - restrict them from seeing each other the next 3 days? Not likely. Just let her do whatever she wants and be a wreck with no sleep? I am really unsure how to handle this.</p>
<p>Don’t worry, when she gets there she will be just fine. Tell her that nothing you can say will make her feel better, but remember that the next 4 yrs of your life will be fantastic.</p>
<p>If it makes her feel any better, I married a UMD grad, we never were together for more than a couple of weeks a yr because I went to school in another state. He graduated and left for the AF to California for a yr while I went to work in NJ. 26 yrs later from the day we met and we are still in love. It does happen, but only if it is really meant to be.</p>
<p>Also tell her she will be amazed at how many girls will be walking in with red pufffy eyes too for the same reason, so she start bonding with them real quick.</p>
<p>For the guys, sorry, but it stinks for you for 2 reasons…one because most of these girls don’t break up until after winter break, so they aren’t available. When they do become available they usually go for the upperclassman. :(</p>
<p>Wow, you’re really in a tough situation. Maybe she needs something to look forward to - like the next time they’ll see each other. Will you be out for Parent’s Weekend? Maybe he can come along. Also, what is the boyfriend’s attitude? You could appeal to him to be more encouraging to her plans. Good luck!</p>
<p>Pima’s story makes me feel better.
Try to keep her happy and let her do what she wants. You should try to help her look on the brighter side.
Life doesn’t stop here because he’s physically gone. Although this is a low time in her life, you should tell her that it’s a low and that it can only get better from here.
Be sure to tell her to keep that fire going.</p>
<p>Michiganian has a good point about the boy’s attitude as well.
It can’t be a one way street. It has to go both ways.
(*Sigh, it’s weird that I’m talking about something that I’m going through and then I see the words ‘Michigan’. That’s where my cutie is going. But everything will be alright. Everything will be alright.)</p>
<p>Have her contact her mentor, maybe even call. Let her work it out with someone her age. I bet the mentor will be able to excite her about her program and new life at UMCP.</p>
<p>I think you’ve got two issues going here…she doesn’t want to leave her boyfriend AND she is nervous about college. Going to college is a huge step even for a kid who’s going to the local state school, but to go all the way across the country and immerse yourself in a huge new environment, plus leave the boyfriend is just hard. For most of our kids, this is their first big lifestyle change, at least the first that they chose.</p>
<p>So…listen to what she is saying: “I’m not ready to go to college.” Add that to having found a safe, happy place with the new boyfriend and that’s a double whammy. </p>
<p>As far as advice, you’ve probably figured it out already…let her talk, listen to her concerns, but remind her it’s a great adventure, it’s what she wanted and chose then please be firm with her and make sure she knows that she’s going and that’s that. If she senses that she could talk you into letting her stay home, then she’s may decide that’s what is best. </p>
<p>Of course, it’s easier to sit back and say this than it is to actually be in your situation. I hope it goes well and she embraces this wonderful new experience she’s about to embark on despite having to leave him behind. They’ll be okay if that’s what is meant to be, but it’s hard for them to see it right now.</p>
<p>If you have a good relationship with the boyfriend, maybe you could talk with him about what she is going through and reassure him that they will keep in touch, etc. Load Skype/IM on the computers together (including his). Do a test run with the cameras. Have he and she log on and have a video chat from their homes before she leaves. </p>
<p>Ask him for his help in making HER transition to college a little easier. Include him. If she hears the same from him that she is hearing from you I think she will feel a lot better about things.</p>
<p>SO how is your DD? Did she get on the plane? Is she happy or melancholy. If she is melancholy remind her that the campus is empty right now and by Friday it will be a different story. If that doesn’t work, say to her, wait until the 1st home football game and Rush, if you still feel sad we’ll re-visit that then</p>
But everything will be alright. Everything will be alright.)</p>![http://15.media.■■■■■■■■■■/hWlreEGvjprgwbcbD10598EKo1_500.jpg[/url]](http://15.media.tumblr.com/hWlreEGvjprgwbcbD10598EKo1_500.jpg%5B/url%5D){kind=link}
