Help me with my FBLA speech!

<p>Really want to win, seeing as I've been a FBLA member for the past 3 years and served as Secretary this past year.</p>

<p>I'm not sure on how to conclude strongly and my word choice is bleh at times. </p>

<p>So here it is:</p>

<p>As consumers in the business world, we face decisions everyday:
Which product is able to offer us better value?
Which product boasts better quality? Is the product proven to work?
Ultimately, we pick the product that offers us the best return. </p>

<p>Now, as the Future Business Leaders of America, you guys are all saavy with what constitues a
powerful product, and how this product can strengthen a business. In this election, consider your candidates
as products, and the club of FBLA as your business. Wouldn't you want the most effective product?</p>

<p>How can Sameep and I bolster this club?
We have the commitment; both of us have been members of FBLA for 3 years.
We have the drive; you've seen us at all club events.
Most importantly, however, we have the unparalled experience;
both have us have served on the officer board this past year. We have seen what needs to be done
for this club to operate smoothly. </p>

<p>Thanks everybody.</p>

<p>bump!bump! thanks!</p>

<p>bumpbump!!</p>

<p>what chapter/region are you in</p>

<p>
[quote]
Most importantly, however, we have the unparalled experience

[/quote]
I would remove the "however." Also, if the products are cheap and numerous enough or the product will be used for a very short amount of time, then the average customer would probably get the cheapest out of the lot or stick to brand loyalty rather than going out of their way to find the one with the best quality. That doesn't have to do with the meaning of your speech though lol, just me being pedantic ;)</p>

<p>Don't brag about your accomplishments too much. I think what you have right now is solid. Now, if you can entertain your audience and add a touch of humor in your election speech, you would have my vote.</p>

<p>This seems...late.</p>