<p>My son has always done well in school until this year (7th grade)… He is in Jr High and changing classes, basketball, girls etc etc… But, he cannot remember anything! I just emailed his teacher this morning because he hasn’t brought home any Math homework in a week. His teacher says he had homework due on Monday and yesterday!! He does not remember to bring home his books and notes to study before a test… What is going on? I met with all of his teachers a week ago and they said he appears very disorganized… Now this is almost too funny, because I am so organized, that my friends refer to me as Martha Stewart! I know the benefits of being better prepared and organized, but how do I help a 13 year old boy?</p>
<p>I had the same problem with both of my sons. Here are some suggestions:
- Does he have a planner?
- Have you had his eyes checked (my younger son needed glasses – he couldn’t see assignments on the board).
- Have him carry an accordian file or any folder with pockets and have him put completed homework ONLY in the folder. He should carry the planner and homework folder EVERYWHERE.
- Does his school use Edline? My sons’ teachers post all of the upcoming assignments on it and you can check it yourself. If his school doesn’t, encourage them to look into it.
I think a lot of it is probably based on the fact that (most) boys have problems with this and they eventually get better at it.
My older son forgot everything in middle school. Something clicked in 9th grade and now he is a freshman at Duke!
Hope this helps!</p>
<p>Our middle schools use a planner and it seems to work well. In addition to writing in the homework for each class, my daughter has invented another memory system for herself. She is so social and even though she wrote in the assignments, she would be talking at her locker and forget to bring the books. So, she made a space at the bottom of every day in the planner and actually writes the materials needed for the homework in each class. She writes thing there like “biology book” and “math binder”. That way there is less thought involved during her social time at the end of the day. It works for her! :)</p>
<p>Momma P- I expect as an organized person you probably know what to do for him to be organized but are looking for ways to get him on board. I think this is the time to use the carrot and stick approach and be prepared for him to take the consequence of his actions. We are midway through the first quarter at our school and if my son had C’s on his progress report we would let him know what would happen if there were C’s on the report card. For our son (the stick), this would be taking away computer game time or an earlier bed time.</p>
<p>As a carrot, I would allow him his choice of a movie in our netflix queue for every A on the report card. Carrots and sticks vary per child! Our school has gone to a program that allow the students and parents to view the homework assignments and up-coming test dates on-line. I think this is a good idea but I am reluctant to make it my job to make sure my son has his homework done. That’s his job and if he doesn’t have it done he is the one that will suffer the embarrassment in class. Much better to have them fail in Middle School, figure out what it takes to succeed and that they like to succeed then to have to nag them all through high school. Somehow they have to internalize the process to make it work. Painful to watch, and as a parent of an 8th grade boy, I for sure know what you are going through!</p>
<p>momma p,
I just posted under your other thread about this.</p>
<p>My DD went through this, too. It started in the 4th grade, was resolved for a while, and then reared its nasty head again during her 7th grade year. We tried several things, but finally nipped it in the bud by requiring her to write her assignments for each of her classes in her planner and have the teacher sign it … daily. If there was no homework in a subject, she had to write that, too, and have the teacher sign it. If she came home without a signature from each teacher, she was grounded. This was very embarrassing for her and she never had problems with forgetting her assignments again. Good luck!</p>
<p>I think also that kids this age think they can remember everything in their heads without writing it down. Show him your shopping list, your errand list, your “to do” list and emphasize how you wouldn’t remember things either if you didn’t write them down!</p>
<p>splashmom, we did something similar with the teacher’s initials, it was minimum for the teacher to do, but a big deal for the kid to have to go get those initials, and you are right, doesn’t have to last very long, either, and the habit of writing things down became natural</p>
<p>the other thing we did, was that every Sunday, the backpack was cleaned - papers put away, etc. so the week would start fresh- physically and mentally-</p>
<p>Having gone through this and attempted to deal with it throughout the public school years through organizational systems and time management, I would advise you (in hindsight) to rule out ADD.</p>
<p>I agree with worry wart…but assuming no problems are identified, I also agree with kathiep. We repeatedly let our kids forget their homework, lunches, books, gym bags, etc. in middle school. We were fortunate that the consequences took care of themselves and we never really needed to have any at home. When they forgot their lunch they ate their friends leftovers - usually the less tasty stuff. When they forgot their gymbag, they didn’t get to play and had to sit out. When they forgot their books, they had to walk back to school or get up early the next day. We were always very sympathetic that they went hungry or sat out. We’d say “what a bummer” or “ouch - a zero for a forgotton assignment” . We’d never say “I told you so” or “you should know better”. We’d never criticize the teachers for the zeros for the forgotten assignments. We never rescued them or bailed them out. We just treated it like it was a normal part of life. You forget something, you pay the price. It took a toll on their grades in middle school, but now in high school they receive very good grades and seldom forget anything. I think it takes time and they have to learn it for themselves. My experience anyway.</p>