<p>Visirale- I know you are joking, quitting is subjective in terms of being a negative or positive thing. Quitting drugs, quitting alcohol,quitting cheating, quitting lying, quitting a game that is damaging your brain and tearing apart your family…A GOOD THING.
Quitting a team, quitting good habits, quitting taking care of yourself,quitting school. a bad thing.
Let’s recognize the difference, and I don’t think I need say more.</p>
<p>TheSmiths- While that may work just fine in YOUR house, please do not try to sugar coat the reality that this game is known across the world as the single most addicting game ever created and finally the effects are being recognized for what they are- degrading a generation of young bright minds, ripping family connections apart, tearing marriages apart, ending college careers short, all you have to do is read through this entire thread to see what this game has and is doing. YES, while I agree that some games are a form of entertainment and might promote dexterity, hand eye coordination,etc…while done in moderation, they can be fairly innocent in small doses AS LONG AS THE KID IS PARTICIPATING IN OTHER ACTIVITIES, ENGAGING SOCIALLY WITH HIS PEERS, KEEPING UP HIS GRADES, ETC…however when this becomes an all consuming activity, such as WOW often is with the teens and adults who play, this becomes a serious problem.</p>
<p>To me- a video game is senseless, it means a kid playing indoors, instead of enjoying the sunshine and breathing fresh air, it means a kid often playing in solitude instead of interacting with peers, it means a kid might be learning a skill but not one that cannot be taught by other means, or in a classroom. I personally don’t like any of them…I feel the negatives far outweight the positives. We are entitled to have our own opinions but I do not see the overly redeeming qualities to which you are referring.</p>
<p>As for Thesmiths comments-
They would apply to activities that are not addictive in nature. Unfortunately, the situation you are dealing with is an addiction, not a casual enjoyment. Hang in there.</p>
<p>ctmomof3: I’d be careful about the “not interacting” comments aimed at video games. Many games nowadays are becoming highly social and interactive - which is one more thing that enhances how much of an addictive experience they are.</p>
<p>As for everyone who continues to act as if video games have no positives… I dunno. I had a lot of fun, made some money and some good friends and learned a lot of organizational skills by playing video games (I was semi-professional for a while).</p>
<p>I agree with 1of42 in that video games like WoW do in fact involve significant amounts of social interaction with peers, only in a virtual world. Indeed, this is part of why they are so engrossing for people, they are not simply a game but a whole virtual world where one can interact and live in much the same way as in the real world. Also, I understand that this is a very difficult time for you and your son but I think that you should not go and vilify all video games out of hand, they can provide a very rewarding and fun experience when played responsibly. Also, I do not want to sound critical or harsh, but I think that when a person becomes so absorbed into a virtual world there is usually an underlying problem with the person that would cause him to seek refuge in a virtual world where he can essentially re-invent himself and act as he cannot in the real world. You should perhaps start to ask if he is addicted to WoW not because he finds the game overwhelmingly fun, but because he finds the real world somehow uninviting and wishes to escape from it.</p>
<p>Closetotheedge, while I appreciate and respect your opinion, I do not agree. I do not at all consider “social interaction” as it is known to be included with socially interacting online/in a virtual world. That is actually quite rediculous in my opinion. Anyone can socially interact online, the most shy person, the most socially inept, the pervert,etc…they can reinvent themselves without any physical consequences and without having to face any kind of rejection. If they don’t like the response they are getting,they simply sign off or come back as a new identity. PLEASE, no one will ever convince me that this is socially interacting on the same level or even close to doing so in person, in the flesh, in real time. My son thank God is showing signs that are positive and encouraging. Not without having gone through a tremendous amount of grief in the last four months mind you. He does not have a computer so we carefully monitor his time online. He is busy with school, and preparing for many tests he has coming up, plus if he visits a website with regard to WOW, i know it as I have a tracking program on my computer. At this point, we need him to walk a careful and straight line. Once the trust is built up again, we will slowly allow him to make his own decisions about his own free time. I also don’t agree that everyone who becomes utterly addicted is troubled, trying to escape,etc…in fact I will go so far as to say I think it is the unsuspecting, innocent kids/teens/adults who venture into it without any knowledge of what lies ahead…it kind of sucks them in and these often innocent productive students (many smart ones I might add), happily married men,etc…suddenly find themselves uncontrollably addicted to this game and frankly I don’t think they can help themselves. Suddenly it is taking over everything. So, again you are looking to blame the person and not the game. BLIZZARD is fully responsible in my eyes for producing this garbage and I have a feeling will soon start having to own up $$ to the disaster it is creating with youth across the globe. This is practically an epidemic in many Asian countries, it is serious enough that the Chinese government has issued sanctions, and actually controls the number of hours their citizens can play…just read and you will learn.</p>
<p>Brief update for those of you who have been so kind to ask and inquire…things are looking up. We are not totally out of the woods yet, but he told me he decided that it was altering his personality too much, it was getting boring,BUT he felt a big void and felt slightly down over the “loss”. The compromise was one some of you had suggested- I went out and splurged on a system with a video game, one that is specifically non addicting, and the nature is you can win it easily and be done with it. After an hour of playing, he had fun but was easily able to turn it off. I am not one to EVER go out on a whim and buy something like this but if in fact the game is really history, it was such a huge celebration for me and my sanity, that I felt it was a small price to pay. In addition,he has a job working over the next break, he is out for 10 days so has agreed to pay half with some of what he earns. I have no problem having done that if it will mean a mild form of entertainment for him, and will serve as something to keep his mind off of these games. Its been about a week or so, and so far things are looking up, I am cautiously optimistic, will keep you posted.</p>
<p>Not my own words, but useful nonetheless I think, citygirlsmom</p>
<p>"World of Warcraft (WoW for short) is the world’s leading MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role playing game), captivating over 6 million people around the world. While many would brush aside WoW or any other online game as a gross waste of time that drags people away from real life friendships and relationships, Nicholas Yee and others at the Stanford Virtual Human Interaction Lab say otherwise. In the paper ““Alone Together?” Exploring the Social Dynamics of Massively Multiplayer Online Games,” Yee and others explore the social intricacies and hierarchies of World of Warcraft. The key to WoW’s success does not lay in its character development and monster slaying aspects, but rather in the human to human interactions its players experience. The game coaxes interactive game play by offering incentives and rewards that can only be achieved by teaming up with your fellow players. These rewards however, are not limited to vast amounts of gold and new more powerful swords and wands. Players are persuaded to build up their own reputation among others. Every WoW player remembers the name of that one person who, without any compensation, helped them do a quest they were too low level to do themselves, or the rich high level player who handed out items and money to beginners. In fact Ducheneaut and Yee argue that such reputation building acts are in fact the ultimate keys to success in WoW.</p>
<p>Throughout the game, though mainly when players reach maximum levels (now capped at 70), players join organizations known as guilds. Guilds are unique with respect to their hierarchy, style, or even goals (player version player as opposed to player versus environment). Most serious Warcraft players strive to accomplish the games most difficult tasks, and these tasks can only be completed by joining a powerful and well organized guild. Ducheneaut and Yee explain how guilds function like any other “real life” social networks. Skeptics may argue that there is not much real social interaction between players as they can only type messages to each other through WoW’s chat features, however this cannot be any farther from the truth. Every organized guild owns a channel in one of the many large scale proprietary Voice over IP programs such as Ventrilo or TeamSpeak, in which all guild members can communicate with each other live just like a large telephone conference. It is only through structure, discipline and above all, teamwork and cooperation that WoW’s most challenging endeavors can be overcome. While many people still believe there is nothing more to WoW then wasted money and a destroyed social life, Ducheneaut and Yee show that there is clearly more: an intricate social web as delicate as any outside Azeroth."</p>
<p>Its like me saying I look like Heidi Clum and love bowling and race cars…its not ME…its a fake me…so this defense that is “social interaction” just flumoxes me</p>
<p>I would say that all social interaction involves a person putting on a “facade” even in the so called “real world.” Interactions in the virtual world can be just as intricate and involved as those that take place in the real world. Truly, entire virtual economies just as complex as their real life counterparts have developed in some online games such as Second Life. Citygirlsmom, I’m not claiming that virtual interaction is “beneficial,” merely that it is just as complex and intricate as real world interaction.</p>
<p>closetotheedge, I with all due respect totally disagree. In fact, I think you will have a hard time trying to convince most people that this game is equal to real live social interaction. The only “friendships” you are developing are on line and only based on the mutual desire and interest in this game. In real life, you make real connections based on a whole host of things, like mutual interests, being on the same team, taking the same classes, working in the same workplace…these things are all the basis or foundation for long term social interaction or relationships. These are vital to any teen or adult to thrive and develop as a normal functioning human being in every day life. The skills that WOW or any equally addicting game gives you, cannot even begin to scrape the surface in terms of being “legit” to develop and learn what human interaction is like. Please don’t even try to convince us otherwise, if someone has a full and normal life, i.e. a student who has friends, participates in school activities, maybe has a part time job or plays on a sports team, goes out on weekends or has friends that he regularly sees, AND wants to play this and can do so for a few hours here or there, then I don’t think there is anything wrong…if that is their chosen “outlet” then so be it. BUT unfortunately with this game, it seems like its all or nothing. It seems nearly impossible especially when you read the hundreds of stories on this thread alone to “have it all”. This game is all encompassing and truly seems to creep into every nook and crannie of one’s life, therefore making it addicting to the point where all else in that person’s life is compromised. THAT is where the problem lies. Having experienced this firsthand and seeing the tremendous power and capability it has, I for one, seem NO redeeming qualities UNLESS (AND THIS SEEMS RARE) one is truly able to limit their play on their own while maintaining a normal existance outside the game.</p>
<p>Well, it would seem I cannot make any headway with the people here, so I will not push the issue any more. I respect your opinion though I do not agree with it. Best of luck with your son and I hope this matter resolves for the best.</p>
<p>ctf, post #275 is excellent - clearly defines the difference between mere recreation and all-consuming addiction.</p>
<p>As someone with experience in the 1970s drug culture, I can say that you could substitute gaming with drug addiction, and it fits perfectly. (To clarify, I am NOT referring to the social ‘getting high’ but to junkies whose entire lives revolve around getting their next fix.)</p>
<p>In all fairness to CloseToTheEdge, I understand that you think we don’t understand your gaming world. You’re right in the sense that, since we have not partaken of that world, we cannot fully comprehend its intricacies.</p>
<p>However, that is irrelevant. I have no doubt that the virtual realities are quite intricate, and the interactions are quite intricate, but they still exist only in cyberspace. The fact remains that those worlds are not real, and excessive time spent in those worlds interferes with healthy functioning in the real world. Just as an acid trip or an excursion into the Land of Nod (heroin) may have their own intricacies as well, but clearly distort the real world and damage one’s interaction with it.</p>
<p>I highly recommend ‘Wonderland Avenue’ by Danny Sugerman. It’s about drug addiction in the hippie era but applies equally to gaming addiction. Amazing parallels.</p>
<p>Cyberworld is PRETEND. It’s not the same as real world interaction. You don’t have to BE the person you are pretending you are. You don’t have to face the challenge of overcoming your weaknesses, whether they are shyness, physical, lack of athleticism, intelligence, psychological, etc. If you want to become a super warrior, you can, and you don’t have to be strong and athletic to do it. If you want to be a worldclass musician, you can, and you don’t have to practice. If you want to be a leader of people, you can, and you don’t have to have charisma. Nope, I’m not buying that cyberspace is anything like interacting in the real world.</p>
<p>I’m embarrassed to say that I was likewise addicted–to Yahoo answers, a website. Not like WOW, but still addicting. then I lost the Internet connection because something was wrong with my computer, and this lasted a month. Once I knew I couldn’t get on the Internet, the problem immediately went away.</p>
<p>I would just get rid of the Internet service. End of problem. And I wouldn’t make it a big power struggle. Just say you are cutting back because you have to start saving for college. Don’t say it is because of WoW. And if he shows up with a WoW CD, just make the CD disappear. And then be very vague about what happened to it, say, I don’t know, I saw it around, I didn’t realize notice what happened to it. </p>
<p>You can get the Internet back when he leaves home. Obviously, he cannot have the temptation around. And I wouldn’t give him a laptop for college either, not for a long time. </p>
<p>My college age son apparently had a lot of problem with videogames when he was in high school and college. He has finally realized that he cannot have the CDs around him because of the temptation. He wasted a lot of time in college on this junk.</p>
<p>You might want to monitor that none of your other younger children have a subscription to WoW. My 8th grade son plays the public Runescape, he doesn’t have a subscription, and he manages to still be social. </p>
<p>This is a big problem and for some kids, I think they have to go cold turkey.</p>
<p>Ivydreaming, I appreciate your advice but as of a few weeks ago this situation was far beyond that, have been there, done that. In addition I work from home so the internet is an absolute must as my livelihood depends on it.
I am happy to report however that things are FINALLY after 5 loooooooong months looking up. He has been warcraft free for about a week and a half, not playing at all. I think we have and still are turning a corner.
I hope this thread will stay alive if not for any other reason than to educate another parent out there about the dangers of this game, and hopefully to prevent someone from going down the long heartbreaking road that we did. Incidentally, so far he is 3 and 3 for college acceptances and I think this has really given him a big boost of confidence and reminded him that there are many other exciting opportunities that await him beyond a silly game.
This still requires daily vigilance on my part and the trust will take a long time to win back, but I do think the worst is over and believe me I have waiting a very very long time to utter those words. Words cannot describe the personal hell that we as a family went through, its quite distressing to see your child whom you love and believe in to go down a path of self destruction and it might sound dramatic but playing and engaging in this game is exactly that. Thanks again for all of your continued support and concern.:)</p>