<p>one possibility - How about leaving hubby at home for the move in? i flew down with my daughter. Our runs to walmart, target, bedbathbeyond, and the time spent organizing/decorating the room - these would have driven my husband crazy. We left him behind and saved the cost of his plane ticket. He and I will visit her together this fall - she’s excited for dad to see the campus. (You could sleep over in her college town so you didn’t have to drive 10 hours in one day.)</p>
<p>
Busymom, you will learn to text…and you’ll learn to like it! 
You’ll still have talks on the phone, but texts are a neat way of keeping connected all day sometimes.</p>
<p>cartera, what recordable frames are you talking about? Could you provide a link?</p>
<p>ThreeKids: Please tell me when this horrible knot in the stomach goes away? My son left Sunday morning-drove himself-and we all just waved from the driveway. I cannot stop crying. The trip yesterday to the grocery store was the hardest-seeing all of the stuff I normally buy for him. (I wondered why people were moving their carts away from me :))</p>
<p>BusyMom: I know what you mean, my son is at his school now and the official weekend is not until the 22. To make things worse he is living sort of like a nomad until he can get into his dorm on the 18th. So, we will see him then but I cannot find any hotels for the 22nd weekend so we might be also be doing a 10 hour drive-not sure if my husband can listen to me cry that long…</p>
<p>Midwest: I read SI editorials and the sports page of our local newspaper. I try to have input into conversations, but the boys always trip me up when I mispronounce names!! They tell me to stick to making the tailgating food-real nice!</p>
<p>The Ritz Camera shop we use had them at one time, but I haven’t checked lately. Here are a couple of links but I can’t vouch for these sites. On is just for the little recorder module that attaches to any frame .</p>
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<p>I actually woke up this morning looking forward to reading this thread! I feel like there are people out there who feel the same way I do. I will definitely be crying in the supermarket 1done2togo! This morning I thought about how today was the last game she would watch of her brother’s…it’s just the lasts continue to flow! </p>
<p>I wish I could tell my husband to stay home. He would be happier MidWestMom, but I think he believes this is something he needs to do. I sent him an email yesterday (I seem to be better able to communicate with his “feelings” when I do it by email even though I see him every night!) and I am hopeful that I will break through to him. He just needs to stay quiet for one day. We’ll be driving “my” car, so at least I will have some control over trips. He is a minimalist and um…I am not. He pretty much thinks she should grab the comforter from her bed and pack a few pairs of pants and be on her way. My D and I have spent weeks gathering for a room that she will be happy to live in. I still have to sew curtains and pillows (I’m not that domestic - just couldn’t find the right “match”) We havent spent a ton of money, but we definitely have <em>stuff</em>. I am dreading her leaving, I am dreading a “scene” with H. My blood pressure must be through the roof!</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for being so supportive. I hope that we can all support each other through this time. Today I bought a “Someone loves me in (hometown)” shirt that I plan to include in her first care package! I also asked her to write down all of her favorites (some surprised me) so I can start to gather some things. I’ve heard of a one price box from USPS? I’m going to look into that. Have a great day, we’re off to breakfast! (One of the last boo hoo!)</p>
<p>Quote:
“Did anyone do anything special to send their child off or to commemorate their last days?” </p>
<p>We did have a dinner party 2 days before our son left and he enjoyed himself and he was the one who suggested having the dinner, but it didn’t feel right to me. We entertain a lot and it seemed like the natural thing to do but I wish that we would have had a more quiet time with him vs having twenty some people at the dinner table. Everyone had toasts, stories, funny advice so that was fun; I think that it was just my head not being together.</p>
<p>BusyMom: Good for you to be out doing things, I think that helps.
The last days then hours moved, for me, at such a slow pace of waiting.
I think that it would have moved faster if we were taking him to school vs waiting for him to get his stuff together! It was such a beautiful day on Saturday, he was leaving Sunday, and I so wanted to go boating and my husband said, “We can’t go boating we have to be here to help our son get ready to go.” Our son slept all day while we waited around! </p>
<p>The new thing that I am doing to combat my tears is everytime I feel like I am going to cry I go upstairs to his bedroom and view the complete mess that he left for me to clean up and pack up to bring to his dorm-now that combats the tears! :)</p>
<p>1 done: The knot DOES go away! As soon as your son starts telling you about new and wonderful things happening in his new life, the feeling will lessen, and it will be gone. Then you get to look forward to those visits home. Unfortunately, it never became easy for us, each break, we eventually start the countdown again. But we adjust and as soon as I know she is happy, I’m fine. </p>
<p>By the way, the relationship I have with my daughter may change slightly over time, it’s supposed to, but I am probably closer to her than ever before. There is always something new in her life, whether good or bad, to discuss. And we always have great times together, whatever we do. She uses me as a sounding board, or just to de-stress (un-stress???). She calls if she’s walking alone at night (sometimes unavoidable) and I’m really happy that she now has a boyfriend to worry about her safety! Speaking of, the boyfriend adds another dimension! I never feel as if I’m losing her, well for a day or so at a time maybe, just adding new experiences, new people.</p>
<p>Also, don’t worry so much about counting “last times”. You do get some of those back. It isn’t really “over”. Just different. And different isn’t bad!</p>
<p>Three kids - that makes me feel better. I have a feeling we will talk a lot in the same manner (when she’s walking etc.). We did the “boyfriend” thing this year, which was really a blessing. It allowed both of us to adjust to a relationship that included someone else who was more important at times. It will be weird for her to have boyfriends/friends in her life that I don’t know. She’s promised to share lots of pictures with me. I’ve worked hard to be non-judgmental (which can be hard when she shows me pictures I really don’t want to see) and I hope that our relationship will only strengthen. I don’t have a problem with our relationship changing, I just don’t want to lose the closeness I cherish so much.</p>
<p>S2 leaves in 2 weeks. He is our youngest and our nest will be empty when he’s gone. I have home schooled him and his 2 older siblings, so I am just used to having him around a lot. During the past 3 years his older siblings have been mostly gone, and I naturally have focused a lot on him. We have had some great talks and spent some great time together, but we have also had a brutal senior year full of nagging and demanding from me and resistance and rebellion from him. </p>
<p>So, I am going to miss him so much…on the other hand, if he weren’t leaving, I think I’d have to kick him out. :)</p>
<p>This thread is just what I needed. I’m so choked up all the time. I feel like I’m pumped up with those hormones I took to get pregnant with my daughter. We will get through this!! </p>
<p>I was thinking about making her a sappy CD with all those songs we loved through the years from Disney, Raffi etc. I’d include "Ain’t no mountain High enough!’ I did invest in a new phone with qwerty keyboard for fast texts!</p>
<p>My mom had a hard time adjusting when I went to college. A month before school, I was going through a lot of things and wasn’t quite ready to leave. My mom was good the whole time we moved in, but my dad said she cried the whole way home. She started a little ritual where she would e-mail me every night before bed, telling me a little story about home - whether it was about family, my dog, something happening where i live…</p>
<p>I am going to be a senior in the fall, and she has kept up with the nightly e-mails. I don’t even respond 75% of the time, but I like the comfort of having that little piece of home every night. I think my mom enjoys it even more, knowing that I look forward to reading something from her :)</p>
<p>robinp56 - I read your post to my D - just so she could see that I’m not the only one! I’d add to that the lullaby You Can Close Your Eyes (James Taylor has a version - but we listened to another version when she was a child). We used to sing Ain’t No Mountain High Enough too! I’m already getting ready “care packages” - I decided not to use the standardized ones, but to put together stuff specific to my D. I asked her to put together a list of her favorites and will include many of those things. I also can’t wait to send her holiday specific care packages with decorations!</p>
<p>I (pathetically) gave my D the book Love You Forever for Christmas and I wrote a long letter on the inside cover. I am strong most of the time, but this is incredibly hard. I can text pretty well - but see a qwerty keyboard on the horizon!</p>
<p>babogal - my D who is sitting next to me (for only another week and a half) thought your ritual was a great idea! She said “yay, I want that!” Little things give me peace - like the idea that I can visit in September if I need to and now, the idea that every night I will have something to do that relates to her - send an email! Thank you for sharing.</p>
<p>babogal - I’m sure I’ll be emailing often - am hoping to get an answer back now and then too. When I was in college, my mom wrote me at least once a week - often more. Somehow I managed to save all those letters - I don’t remember saving them, but I found them several years ago. I still read them now and then and I realized from them how much she missed me. That’s the downside with emails - they’re much more temporary. Perhaps I will try to print out some my D’s emails to me and save them. She will enjoy them many years from now.</p>
<p>Definitely print the emails! What a wonderful gift. I was saving S1’s emails, then lost them in a hard drive crash. </p>
<p>Today I took a mental health day and went to the beach. It’s only 45 minutes from home, but I have not been yet this year. Between S2 leaving and helping S1 through a major heartbreak, I am just about worthless. My stomach is in knots a lot of the time and my chest feels tight sometimes (no, I shouldn’t be at risk for a heart attack…it’s a stress kind of tightness). I can’t seem to get anything done.</p>
<p>Being at the beach always just sucks the stress right out of me. It did that today. I went by myself, took my chair and umbrella, and stopped at Starbucks for a frappucino to bring with me. I sat in my chair, sat out on the edge of the water as it washed in and out, and even played in the waves. Yes, I probably looked silly…but what do I care? I’m 50 and I can’t look silly if I want! </p>
<p>Anyway, it helped. So if any of you have a guaranteed stress-relieving activity, now might be a good time to indulge in it.</p>
<p>I was talking to a friend today and she said that what was great about being 50 is that you just don’t care what people think anymore!</p>
<p>My nest is going to be empty here soon and it’s so hard I don’t think that I can express it. I’m also moving because my H accepted a new job and I’m also losing my very close circle of friends. It’s so hard.</p>
<p>I missed my S when he left but it was ok because he called a lot and is a good communicator. I think that I am so worried because after my S went to school, it gave my D and I time to grow closer. I hate to say it but girls are different. They (my D) is more verbal than my S and tells me stuff that my S would never. I seem to know more about her feelings and insecurities than my S who likes to talk about sports and computers and guy stuff. My D talks about her friends and what is going on with them and shopping, girl stuff. That’s what I’ll miss.</p>
<p>But I know from experience (I hope!) that she’ll share her experiences at school like she did at home.</p>
<p>I love the beach idea timely. Sometimes I just go out to lunch by myself, just to be around people but not have to interact. It’s wonderful. Oh, and I’ll have dessert, just to be indulgent. I hate to have dessert when you go out with your girlfriends, they always seem to be dieting and I feel guilty.</p>
<p>My daughter and I felt just the same two years ago as some of you. So this is one thing we did that made it easier: Since she was going to school 1200 miles away, and I didn’t have a planned visit until October (Parents Weekend), I told her that if she really needed to, I would let her come home a month after she started. That way she knew that if she had to, she could come home in September and it didn’t seem so long (August to November would be three months that she would not be home). Of course, I knew she probably wouldn’t need to come home, once she knew that she could. I was prepared to do it, too, but that would be really hard since sending her back would be tough, if it were so bad that she had to come home! I took a chance, it worked out. By the way, she says it’s a common known fact that first semester freshmen do their crying in the showers. This might not work for everyone, but she’s the kind who works really hard on working things out, not a quitter. It’s like when I quit smoking…I kept an open pack of cigarettes on the stove for 6 months. Never touched them. If they weren’t there, I might have wanted them more.</p>
<p>deb922, where are you moving to? Maybe some of us live there and can help you out a little. You don’t have to meet up IRL if you don’t want to, but here, on CC.</p>
<p>One more thing, sorry for taking over! About the emails, a ccer once wrote that she printed and saved all of her S/D’s emails, and presented them to D/S (don’t remember which) at graduation!</p>