<p>I was googling other answers to my question when I came across one from 2005 that was similar in this same section, but I wanted a parental view specific to my own question. Thank you in advance.</p>
<p>I’m 17 years old from Florida and want to take a trip down to San Diego to tour colleges with my friend, whom my mom trusts. My grandma lives in Phoenix, which is 6 hours away. My mom said I could go with her… but the thing is I want to go alone, with just my friend. I want to have a feel for independence before I’m shoved into it in another year.</p>
<p>I haven’t really asked if I could go alone… but I’m afraid to. (I’ve hinted and received a kind of ‘ppfftttt’) I don’t want her to say no, because she’s pretty un-trusting. I’m a good student, over 4.0 gpa, and have never had any trouble in school, I don’t sneak out or party or anything. I hardly even go out. But my sister has had issues with those things, and shes 18 months younger. My mom is that much harder on me for everything that my sister has done.</p>
<p>My grandma said she could drive me, or the flights are only $60 dollars from AZ to CA.
money isn’t much of an issue.</p>
<p>How should I ask, or what should I do about this situation?
I know parents can book hotels, but I can also stay in the dorms of the college I want to visit for free.
I just need her approval for me to stay there alone for a few days. We won’t be doing anything that 17 year olds aren’t supposed to be doing.</p>
<p>Can you explain this a little more? (I’m confused about where your grandmother fits into this.)</p>
<p>Let’s see if I’ve got this right. You live in FL and you want to visit a college campus in San Diego. You don’t want your mother to visit the campus with you. Why? Is this “feel[ing] for independence” the sole reason?</p>
<p>Money isn’t an issue? For whom? You have enough money earned to cover this, or Mom has enough to give you? </p>
<p>Other helpful information: Are you a junior in HS or a senior? Have you traveled on your own before? Do you have a credit/debit card in your own name? Have you a cell phone? I assume you are a girl (from your name). Is your friend a girl too?</p>
<p>I’m a high school junior, this trip is planed for the summer before my senior year, and my mom already agreed to send me to arizona, where from there it was planned that my grandma would drive us, or go with us.</p>
<p>I have enough money to go alone, the flight from arizona to california, and the rest she already agreed to pay for.</p>
<p>I travel alone a lot, because my parents are divorced. I used to go with my sister, but now our schedules conflict and we go different times. Me and my friend are both girls, I have a cell phone, and i have a walmart credit card for gas only… but that isn’t much help since I won’t be driving.</p>
<p>To be honest, my mom isn’t the most plesant person to be around. I know, coming from a typical teenager it doesn’t sound like much… but yeah.</p>
<p>My grandma would be taking us though, but she has to work. 4 days work for 3 days off, is the policy, or something similar. I want to go to San Diego for a week, and i don’t want to mess up her schedule, since she will be just getting back from another vacation…
And she snores. loud. lol.
just a few extra not-so-important reasons for traveling alone, even though I love my grandma.</p>
<p>“My grandma would be taking us though, but she has to work. 4 days work for 3 days off, is the policy, or something similar. I want to go to San Diego for a week, and i don’t want to mess up her schedule, since she will be just getting back from another vacation…”
So you are going to have to compromise, aren’t you?
1]There aren’t enough private colleges in the SD area that would require a weeks stay.
2]If you are thinking of applying to UCSD as an out of state student,you should know your chances of acceptance are about as good as trying to get into HYP- very small.</p>
<p>I suggest you step back and think about what you actually CAN do given the reality of your Gma’s schedule, instead of trying to have her change her schedule to fit your wish list.</p>
<p>well, that was the argument in my favor.
She’s busy, soooo, I should be able to go alone?
with my friend of course, for safety reasons.</p>
<p>and I have very good grades, etc. I was also planning on applying to Stanford.
UCSD seems really nice too, and possibly the University of San Diego.</p>
<p>I’m generally a pretty-open minded mom, especially when it comes to travel. However, 2 17-yr-old girls driving from Phoenix to SD and back (or travelling alone in/around California) would not be something that I would consider as acceptable. </p>
<p>If my 19-yr-old D wanted to do it, I would advise against it, and state all the safety/common sense reasons why I felt that way. Obviously, I wouldn’t stop her since she’s an ‘adult’. She was very mature as a 17 yr old, but there’s a significant difference in her maturity level now that she’s been at college for 2 years. I’m guessing that my 17-yr-old daughter would never dream of asking. (I’d say no, and suggest that spending time with her grandmother would be a really good thing. Take ear plugs and let grandma enjoy being with teen-aged girls for 4 days). I’m with menloparkmom on not needing to stay a week to check out colleges…and I wouldn’t remotely recommend anyone to visit Tijuana (or any Mexican border town) for the foreseeable future. We’ve vacationed in SD 3 times…loved it all, and never stayed more than 3-4 days each time.</p>
<p>How about you take a week, but spend the additional days in Arizona?? If you’re NMF, at least one of the AZ schools (Univ of Az? Az State?) will automatically give you a free ride.</p>
<p>If your mother came here and asked for our opinion, I think I would be saying that with some work on your part, you could do this safely. I would ask the school(s) to provide contact information and you would need to provide a detailed schedule of where you would be when. I would also want you to have a debit card with you for emergencies.</p>
<p>However, since you are asking, I am getting a little concerned about your level of maturity if you feel you can’t just sit down and discuss this with your mother. I also think you should visit when the schools are in session and not during the summer as you will not get a good feel for them otherwise.</p>
<p>Also you do know that Stanford is no where near San Diego, right?</p>
<p>yes, I’ve toured Stanford before though, when my brother was looking.
I just wanted to get some opinions on the subject with other parents to see if it was even feasible before possibly looking ‘suspicious’, because of my sisters behavior like I previously mentioned. </p>
<p>and in reply to a previous post, we wouldn’t be driving ourselves.
We would fly or be driven by an adult. We would only be staying on campus/ in a hotel.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be a week, just a time estimate.</p>
<p>and If I didn’t mention it, I’m already spending a week in Arizona with my grandmother beforehand regardless if we go to California or not.
I just figured while I was in that general area… it would be nice to get a scope on some west coast colleges.</p>
<p>**** We would only be staying on campus/ in a hotel ****</p>
<p>If you’re traveling without an adult, I don’t think you’ll be able to rent a hotel room on your own. </p>
<p>We sent our son to NYC (from Seattle) on his own the fall of his senior year as he was called back for an audition. I couldn’t even arrange a towncar for him to take him from the airport to the friend’s dorm he was staying at since he was underage.</p>
<p>He traveled alone to a couple of schools to visit when he was 17, both across the country. He is very reliable with a good head on his shoulders. That said, I would have been very hesitant to have him traveling around visiting several schools on his own at that age.</p>
<p>Sounds like your friend will be driving. What car will she be using? If she’s not yet 21, you might have a very difficult time getting a rental car. If you are counting on borrowing your grandmother’s car, you might want to check with her first. She might not be willing to loan her car to your friend, however trustworthy. I certainly wouldn’t. Will you be able to use public transportation in San Diego to get between the airport and the campuses you want to visit? </p>
<p>If you’d like a touch of independence, I suggest that you go with your grandmother, but go on the college tours without her…then report back to her in the evening.</p>
<p>It will really help with the “convincing process” if you have a detailed, day-by-day itinerary/plan of your trip. Something like:</p>
<ol>
<li>Arriving at PHX 5 pm. Grandma picks up.</li>
<li>Staying overnight at Grandma’s house.</li>
<li>Next day: Grandma drives us to Arizona State U. Exploring Tempe for a day. Staying at Grandma’s overnight.</li>
<li>Next day: departing PHX to SAN. Taking pre-arranged shuttle to campus (shuttle phone # is <em>**). Dorm stay overnight (dorm RA contact information is </em>). Campus tour.</li>
</ol>
<p>etc… Showing that you are not going to Mexico, not going to try to rent a car form a “sketchy” business, etc.</p>
<p>I think overnights on college campuses for non-admitted students are becoming rare, but especially so during summer sessions. The point of staying overnight, on-campus is to see the see the campus culture when school is in-session, when there are lots of students present. The summer session is much different than the regular school year, so why would colleges accommodate you then? For UCSD, providing free overnights in the summer could mean they just become a free hotel for high school kids who want a cheap vacation in San Diego.</p>
<p>It’s no wonder your Mom is hesitant. This is not a well thought out plan for all of the reasons the other parents here have posted.
You are going to have to be resourceful and come up with a more feasible plan.</p>
<p>I’m not sure I’m following your posts very well.</p>
<p>If your gma will be accompanying you the entire time then I don’t see what the issue is.</p>
<p>If your gma will just drive you out, drop you off, and then pick you up in a week, then you have the practical issues of staying on your own and you gma will be doing an awful lot of driving. That’s 24 hours of driving (6 here, 6 back, 6 here again, 6 back again) Is she really up for that? </p>
<p>If you’ll visit your gma and from Phoenix fly here, which is usually a quick and inexpensive flight on Southwest, then you’re facing the issues of transportation once here and staying someplace. </p>
<p>I do know that the campus and res halls at UCSD are used in the summer for a number of purposes. Some of the res halls are used by international students taking summer courses as well as various summer programs used by others including kid programs. One of my Ds stayed in the res halls for about a week while at a tennis camp being held at UCSD. She was in 9th or 10th grade at that time. But these are organized events and part of the cost pays for the use of the res halls in addition to the adult chaperones. How will you manage to stay in the res halls for free? Are you certain of this point?</p>
<p>If you managed to find accommodation, how will you get around once you’re here? Do you plan to take the city bus, taxis, or what? I don’t think you’ll want to be stuck at one campus for the entire time. However, one can walk to the beach from UCSD or take a short city bus trip to other beaches from campus.</p>
<p>I think you need to think through all these practical aspects and have a plan for all of these points. If you have them all explicitly covered, then you’ll probably have an easier chance of convincing your mom. If you answer ‘I don’t know’ to any of her practical questions she’ll be less likely to be convinced to let you go.</p>
<p>If the ‘independent route’ doesn’t work out, maybe you can convince your gma to come out here with you for a few days to a week. It doesn’t usually take too much convincing to get ‘zonies’ to come to San Diego once the temps hit over a hundred degrees every day in Phoenix.</p>