Help revising Common App Essay:

Hi, everybody!
Would anyone be interested in helping me revise my common app essay? It is a work in progress, and I would like some input from people here. It’s a UChicago Writing Supplement. The prompt is:

“Art is either plagiarism or revolution.” -Paul Gauguin. What is your “art”? Is it plagiarism or revolution? -Inspired By Kaitlyn Shen, Class of 2018

Let me know if you want to read my essay so I can PM you

Anyone?