Thank you. That’s probably what makes the decision hard for him - stem vs well roundedness. He will be doing another round of GT(speaking with some more kids there) and then doing Admitted days at Yale. Hopefully those allow him to clear his mind to make the decision.
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Linked In was a good suggestion. I will continue looking at people on there to get a perspective too. Thank you.
That’s the beauty. You can get paralyzed in analysis but it’s really in the end, heads you win. Tails you win.
I think both are fantastic but I always have pause when I read things like - if he goes to Ga Tech we plan to retire earlier.
We all love our kids so what’s another few years of work - right?
Wrong.
It’s a personal call of course but if it impacts your life to that level, to me that’s a red flag.
Good luck whichever way you go.
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OP- only you can decide how to spend your own money, and only you and your spouse can decide if and when you are ready to retire- and I’ll guess that it’s a far more complicated question than just “if kid goes to Yale we’ll put off retirement”. I would never presume to tell someone else how to spend their money; if you are full pay at Yale I will take a wild guess that you aren’t a financial idiot.
I think the visit will make the decision. We were full pay for our kids- despite knowing that they could have gotten a fine education at a much lower price. We have NOT retired (spouse nearing 70, I’m 67) and that’s fine with us. There is NOTHING I have ever spent money on (vacations, home improvements, car, jewelry) that has brought me the delight and satisfaction that paying for my kids to get the education they felt matched THEIR needs has brought me. Nothing. My friends consider me the most frugal person they know; I’m happy driving an 11 year old car knowing that it could outlive me if I’m diligent about maintenance. So I’m not someone throwing $20 bills out the window and setting them on fire.
It is a luxury to be able to send your kid to the place he/she chooses, as long as everyone agrees it’s the right place and the right use of funds. As the child of a refugee, I have a different perspective on education than many people of my cohort. Education was quite literally the ONLY thing that turned out to be portable when you need to flee. The stories my elders told about the family with the Picasso on the wall and the luxury vacations “in the before times” and tons of household help… it ain’t worth much if you decide to pack your life into a suitcase and head to a safer part of the world.
I know your son will make a great decision!!! And having such a fantastic instate option as GT… WOW!!!
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This! How you work and how you choose to fund college is your family decision.
In the Thumper Family, both parents worked full time. My income fully funded college at two private universities. DHs paid the rest of our bills.
I always said I would retire when the last tuition payment for the youngest was paid…I worked one year after that, and then I did retire from my full time gig. But I did 11 long term leave positions after that.
I can’t think of a better reason to continue to work than to help fund the educations of our kids.
I did fully fund my retirement…but if needed, I would have worked longer to fund the next generation!
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Bravo @blossom , bravo!
Completely agree. My father was an immigrant, who also valued education more than almost anything else, who sent my brother and I to the private colleges of our choice, and partially funded our JD and MD. All on a middle class salary. My husband and I share those values, and our kids went to the best school for them, not the cheapest.
Everyone absolutely should make the best decision for their family. There is no one size fits all. Full pay isn’t best for every fsmily, but neither is going to the cheapest school right for every family.
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I completely agree that how a family chooses to spend its money is its own decision, and that reasonable families can make different decisions.
I will make one note of caution, however. If a few extra years of work means that you will be able to retire with a preferred level of comfort, but there will be enough to meet a minimum standard for retirement without those extra years, then I agree with the points made above about a family’s values.
If you need to work a few extra years in order to meet your minimum level of comfort in retirement, then I would think about a few things:
- How is the health of the working adults in the family?
- How secure are the jobs of the working adults in the family?
- How easily could the working adults find a job with a similar income if there was a job loss? What kind of impact would occur if there was a significant drop in one or both incomes?
- What financial hardships might happen within the next few years (say, grandparents needing financial support or a working adult needing to work fewer hours to help with grandparents’ failing health) and how would that affect the retirement plans?
The answers to those questions (which you do not need to share here, but are just for your family to think about) could sway me, if your family’s financial situation is in bucket #2, as there are no loans for retirement.
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This is a no-brainer 
Having the opportunity to experience undergraduate life at Yale is something that very few get. The diversity of the available programs and the balancing of STEM with liberal arts is also something that would most likely be very rewarding. Not to mention the incredible networking with some of the most prominent and brilliant people in the country (and possibly the world.)
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Congratulations on your son’s wonderful choices, @ravencla! I live in your same metro area (as we struggle with the crazy high pollen count at the moment!) but I am from the North, and, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I spent a fair amount of time at Yale (my brother attended and I had a BF there, with whom I am still periodically in touch ) GT is certainly a wonderful school, undergoing growth and expansion. And if your s is very strongly desiring to pursue engineering, it’s a great place to be. I would guess that he has spent time on campus, perhaps attended a GT summer camp (mine attended CEISMC), worked with grad students or faculty, maybe helped with a hackathon, attended a concert at the Ferst Center, etc. So he is likely familiar with the campus. But to be honest, you are super fortunate to be in the position (as you have diplomatically repeated several times when it has repeatedly been brought up and questioned) of being able not to worry about the cost. Even if you have already visited the Yale campus, go again. See if at all possible, your s can do an overnight with a freshman living on the green/Old Campus (or one of the few RC’s that has freshmen in all 4 years) and eat in the residential college the freshman is affiliated with, see if he can sit in on a class , etc. Yes I know its very 11th hour and might not be possible to arrange, but its worth a shot. If he (not you) is undecided, these experiences can be powerful. Yale is truly a special place. And if he wants finance quant, moreso the right choice.
I am also one more voice joining the choir of, if his attending Yale does truly not change your lifestyle, you are in an enviable position, and it is no one’s place to tell you how to spend your money. If you and/or your spouse enjoy what you do and would choose to continue to work a few years (not “have” to work to make this doable) rather than retire early, that is entirely your call. Just remember that private/personal healthcare options aren’t super great here in GA, so put that in the back of your head too as you think through your choices (reiterating— YOUR choices). Feel free to PM me if you want more info. Keep us posted!
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We’re in a position where we can manage the cost of Yale. While $300K difference is still a significant amount, it’s not something that would define or derail our lives right now. We’re truly fortunate to be in this situation, and I don’t take that for granted. That said, I’d prefer to steer away from diving deeper into the financial discussion, as that wasn’t the intent of my post.
I really appreciate all the thoughtful insights shared by everyone regarding the pros and cons of each option. It has been incredibly helpful, and I’m genuinely grateful for all these nuggets of wisdom.
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This is really helpful for me to read; thank you! (I’m sure also helpful to the OP )
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I think the OP has great options!
One fallacy I would like to caution against… either of these two option are “investing in education”. Spending $350k vs. $60k is not insignificant. He could come out of GT (great opportunities, great school!) and have a really nice down payment on a house. Just because it is instate and cheaper does not mean it is bad.
In fact, depending on what he wants to do, GT may offer more research opportunities than Yale. What type of student body does he want? Where does he think he would like to end up geographically? Because they each have strong alumni, but might be more clusters in different parts of the country. Those are also factors that may play a part.
good luck with admitted student days. hope they provide clarity!
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I know we are all random, anonymous people here. Jeff Selingo is a journalist who has focused his career on higher education. I would listen to what he says at the 3:45 and 5:00 marks in this video:
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Thank you. We have Jeff’s book at home and have used it as one of the core books of our search, along with Borrowed Future.
We really appreciate this line of thinking and we’ve spent a lot of time thinking it through. We’ve tried to approach it with both our heads and hearts. It’s been a holistic decision for us, shaped by more than numbers alone.
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Yale can be transformative, like becoming the greater you that you could become, in ways you can’t imagine yet, with relationships& networks on the entire planet.
That being said, GT will be more narrowly focused on his becoming the best computer scientist he can be.
Both options are terrific. No wrong choice.
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we have best friends with a son at Yale doing Comp Sci. He got rejected from GT. I don’t think Yale’s Comp Sci program is at the same level as the one at GT- I’m sure Yale is hoping to change that over time, but it’s not there yet.
I am sure GT will have plenty of intellectual and interesting people to make a solid friend group from or network with. Just like Yale will have plenty of people who are uninteresting or are just there to get to Wall Street and make a lot of money.
Yale and similar schools do not have a monopoly on brilliant people. They are full of people who succeeded in high school. Lots of kids peak a little later or just decide to buckle down later.
By the way, I graduated from Yale. Trust me- I’m not that great.
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Hi @ravencla, congratulations to your son! Thanks for sharing this post - I’ve enjoyed reading all the insights from others. Unfortunately I don’t have any profound wisdom to impart, but I have a D25 with very similar interests (applied math and CS, running and music!) who is also weighing the decision between a technical institute and Yale… I look forward to hearing about your son’s thoughts and final choice! Wishing you the best on this exciting journey!
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Oh, this is exciting to hear! 
, 
& 
too. Good luck to your daughter too as she makes her decision. 