<p>Hello, I’ll be sending my application today and I just want to have a second idea before I send my answer to short answer question since I think I picked a risky subject for it:</p>
<pre><code>Competetive nature of online gaming has always appealed to me. For me, there would be no meaning in playing a game without human involvement or interaction. Since the variables are human, there is no golden rule that solves every problem. To be in a constant challange of analyzing everchanging situations and assesing them to tailor the best solutions is an exhilariting experience, as it is a progressive activity to promote cognitive thinking in every day life.
When it comes to playing as a team, the drive to succeed taught me if I am confident in my abilities stepping up as a leader is not a choice but a responsibility, and sometimes the responsiblity is to be mature and ensure the succes of your fellow men in a supporting role. Even in most challanging match-ups, I’ve learned that with tenacity and teamwork everything is possible, and the best way to function as a group is to listen to your teammates and benefit from every idea, as each of them is formed by unique experiences.
</code></pre>
<p>Here are some changes I’m considering:</p>
<p>Is by listening your …benefiting</p>
<p>Benefit from their ideas, as each of them represent unique experiences.</p>
<p>Competetive nature of online gaming has always appealed to me. For me, there would be no meaning in playing a game without human interaction. Since the variables are human, there is no golden rule that solves every problem. To be in a constant challange of analyzing everchanging situations and assesing them to tailor the best solutions is an exhilariting experience, as it is a great activity to promote cognitive thinking in every day life.
When it comes to playing as a team, the drive to succeed taught me, that if I am confident in my ability to step up as a leader is not a choice but a responsibility, and sometimes the role is to be mature and ensure the succes of your fellow men/women. Even in the most challenging match-ups, I’ve learned that with tenacity and teamwork anything is possible, and the best way to function as a group is to listen to your teammates and benefit from every idea, as each of them have unique talents, that they bring to the table.</p>
<p>Errors:</p>
<p>human involvement and interaction is repetition
progressive activity? I can’t grasp what you are referring to…
drive to succeed taught me, THAT
in my abilities stepping up as a leader…
sometimes the responsibility (again repetition, changed it to role)
scratched “in a supporting role” (if you are the leader, you are implying they are the supporting men, also changed to men/women since its sexist to say just men)
even IN the most challengeing match-ups
its not “everything is possible,” its anything
each of them is formed by unique experiences (doesn’t sound right) (also dumped is)</p>
<p>^yes, and also “cognitive thinking.” What other kind of thinking is possible?</p>
<p>ah, I see your point. Unfortunately I have already sent the application after some editings as the deadline was march 1.</p>
<p>This the version I sent:
The competitive nature of online gaming appeals to me. Because the variables are human, there is no golden rule that solves every problem. Being in a constant challenge of analyzing ever-changing situations and assessing them to tailor the best solutions is an exhilarating experience, as it is a progressive activity to promote cognitive thinking in every day life.
When I play in a team, the drive to succeed teaches me confidence to step up as a leader, which is not a choice but a responsibility, that ensures the success of my fellow-men in a supporting role. Even in most challenging match-ups, I have learned that with tenacity and teamwork everything is possible, and the best way to function as a group is by listening to your teammates in order to benefit from their ideas, as each is a product of unique experiences. As a competitive player, video games motivate me to be more active, a better team player, a confident individual, and a good listener.</p>