Help w CT/NY/MA/PA college list for my smart, but very anxious daughter

College Search & Lists
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Hi! I would love some input on colleges for my daughter. She is currently a Junior and has struggled emotionally in her very sporty HS. She moved here in 8th grade and as she isn’t athletic (she takes lessons and performs with the local School of Rock), she has had trouble making any close friends here. While she is outgoing, she is also incredibly anxious and I want to try to find some great schools for her to succeed and grow. She is smart and while she could apply to some Ivies as reaches, I’m not sure whether the environment would just be a terrible fit.

Stats:

3.98 unweighted GPA

1530 SAT (780 Math, 750 English)

Has done a lot of work at the HS with the special needs students (Unified sports, Best Buddies and on her own has spent a lot of free time befriending the students and helping them in their classroom during her free periods). She has also worked at School of Rock during the summer leading camps and she has a job there during the school year teaching Rock 101 classes to younger kids. At this point, she is considering a Psychology major (maybe Spanish minor) to become a Clinical Psychologist. She obviously loves music, given all of her work with School of Rock, but she isn’t going to be a music major.

College Requirements:

Small to medium sized Liberal Arts. She would ideally love to have a school with a cute town surrounding it so she can leave campus and have some fun places to go to eat, shop, walk around.

Within a 3-4 hour drive (or less) from Fairfield County, CT

Cost is flexible.

Not a big party scene school or one that is heavy on Greek life (she isn’t going to join a Sorority and isn’t a partier, but would gladly join clubs or other activities that interest her). She is also not very interested in a school that has a religious affiliation.

List so far:

We visited Wesleyan and she absolutely loved it. It’s at the top of her list right now, but it’s a reach so we need to flesh out a list for her. We are visiting BU, Tufts, Smith, Mt. Holyoke and Swarthmore. On the fence about whether we add Connecticut College to the list as I’m not sure if it’ll be her scene socially. We live in a very athletic preppy area and she seems to prefer quirkier type of people.

Any other recommendations of places where she could feel comfortable and do well? Is Brown too much of a pressure cooker? Any thoughts on 2-3 safeties that could be interesting for her to add to the list?

Thank you in advance for any help.

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Sounds like a great kid - not everyone makes close friends.

Define cost flexible - a Wes is $90K+ if you have no need. You can find schools as low as $20K.

Tell me more about her HS courses taken - rigor or highest level in English, Social Sciences, Foreign Language, Math, and Science. And what she’ likely take next year. How many APs will she take (assuming the school offers ample).

Let’s make sure the schools you are looking at are the right level.

Brandeis, Rochester, Union, Ithaca and SUNY Geneseo as likely safety schools are five that come to mind that might be worth a look.

Thanks

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If she is looking for a reach she definitely would fit in at Williams. It is rural but there is a very small town and a medium sized town nearby. Music scene is incredible

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Muhlenberg? Lehigh? Lafayette?

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Wes parent here and was going to recommend it before I saw that it’s already top of the list. I think it would be a great fit based on the way you’ve described your daughter and my own kid’s experience. It’s a very special place.

Note that they like to see all of biology/chemistry/physics, calculus, and four years of foreign language. Not a requirement but something they highlight as prevalent among accepted students.

If she’s certain it’s her first choice, she should consider ED—admission by mid-December can be a great relief for a kid with anxiety.

Good luck!

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I don’t think Brown is a pressure cooker at all. Not academically, socially, artistically. There are lots of different sub-cultures there, and lots of mixing and matching.

Take a look at Brandeis, Wheaton, Clark, Skidmore, Sarah Lawrence, Bard, Bryn Mawr?

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Smith came to mind right away. Great school and Northampton is the quintessential cute town. Side benefit is that a couple of well known children’s authors live in Northampton. Mo Willems for one. Jeanne Birdsall is another. Smith also has its own Campus School, giving Smith students great access children on campus. Nearby on Pleasant Street is The Common School with its own unique educational philosophy, providing another great resource to study child development.

In Wesleyan’s favor is the fact that there’s a great children’s “museum” down Washington St street, a couple of blocks from campus. It’s really more of an indoor creative play space. I’ve encountered students doing child development research there with willing victims. :wink:

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Smart and anxious? She’d fit in perfectly at Brandeis!! My daughter is there and absolutely loves it. Plus it hits all of your other requirements - small, close to CT, very little Greek life.

I know you said you don’t want a religious affiliation, but Brandeis - though founded by the Jewish community - religion has zero impact in the daily life of students unless they seek it out. Only about 1/3 of the students are Jewish and there are no religious requirements or doctrine at all.

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Please go visit. Conn College has a great arts scene. Walking to the town would be…challenging.

Is Skidmore too far away? It might work also. Small enough but definitely near a great small town.

Marist would work. It is no longer affiliated with any religion.

Take a look at the Colleges That Change Lives list of colleges. I’ll bet some of those would be worth a look see!

Drew in NJ? Cute town, and if she feels like it, a close train ride to NYC.

What about UVM? Burlington is a great town. Yes, it’s larger, but might be worth a visit. Or University of New Hampshire. UNH doesn’t feel large, and Durham is a great small town.

For smaller schools in MA, what about Stonehill?

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Wheaton College in Norton, MA might be a good safety.

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Another safety might be Hobart & William Smith, located in beautiful Geneva, NY. The college is situated right on the shore of Lake Geneva in NY’s Finger Lakes region and not far from Rochester. In addition to a Psychology major, they have a really interesting Child Advocacy minor which among other things, brings Hobart students into a Geneva school to work with children in classrooms. Another interesting side trip in the region is Seneca Falls, home to the first demonstration for women’s rights in 1848 and which today memorializes that event with a small park on the street corner where the event took place. Next door is the National Women’s Museum and down the street is the National Women’s Hall of Fame. Seneca Falls is also where the classic movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life”, was set.

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Vassar, Skidmore.

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You’ve gotten a lot of really good suggestions, so I might repeat a few. Do take a look at Conn College, because I think your D can find her quirky people there. Wes, Mount Holyoke, and Bryn Mawr are good choices (if Philly is not too far – and if that’s the case, check out Swarthmore and Haverford, too). How about Smith? Definitely Vassar, and maybe Bard as a safety. Is southern Maine too far away? Your D sounds like a Bates kind of person.

Brown is not too much of a pressure-cooker at all. It’s a very friendly environment. Very reachy, too, but of course you know that going in.

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HWS has a reputation of being very Greek-life-centered. But in the same area, Rochester might be a good match. But that might be too far for OP.

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Haverford could be a good fit. A Psych major combined with their Child & Family Studies Minor might be just the combination that would work for her.

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Good point

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On the basis of a select pool consisting of one person, I can confirm that Brown has its share of very idealistic, and one might even say, “quirky“ students. OTOH, I can’t say that my friend (who I haven’t seen in many years) made any close friends while there. I get the feeling that people kept their heads down and pursued whatever goals they had set out for themselves, sometimes at the expense of having social lives. But TBH, there are people like that at Wesleyan too. I just think that it’s harder to get lost entirely in the crowd at Wes.

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My daughter had an arty, smart friend who loved her time at Bucknell - I think it’s just in your driving radius. I don’t think Brown is a pressure cooker at all if she wants to shoot her shot. Best of luck in finding the right fit!

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Bard could be a great fit. They have lots of ways to apply, and it is a pretty intellectual place, yet not super hard to get into. Lots to like about that one, including a great music scene!

Bryn Mawr and Haverford will be more selective and are also very life of the mind places.

Agree that Bates could be a nice option, but again, more selective.

Oberlin might be a bit too far, but could fit the bill.

Brown and Tufts are natural overlaps with Wes but are quite selective.

Sarah Lawrence?

You have time to explore, and your D (and her social life) could evolve over the next 2 years so looking at a range of schools definitely makes sense.

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Quite selective are the places where a kid with a 3.98 gpa and a 1530 SAT should be applying. I assume that’s what you’re saying?