Help with a question: viewpoint of the **on-campus student** impacted by the ?limitations? of working with commuting students

Applying to College
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Hola,

There are many posts about how it is as a student commuting, but I’m asking from the viewpoint of the on-campus student impacted by the ?limitations? of working with commuting students.

DD2024 is deciding between: (COA averaged over 4 yrs - our changing financials/brother graduating in 2 yrs)

  • UMass Amherst - $41K (instate)
  • SUNY Stony Brook U (SBU) - $52K
  • Connecticut College - $61K (probably dropping from list - too expensive for our wallet)

I’m pushing for Umass, DH is pushing for SBU (he’s from Manhattan).

DD ranks UMass as an ugly “dystopian prison” more impacting of her decision.
Next much smaller negative factor is seeing/running into a bunch of previous classmates.

I consider the fact that 50% of SBU are commuters should be a big factor in her decision. I refer to the fact that when I was in college (maybe 10% commuters), and we had group projects, we could just say ‘meet in 10minutes’ or at 10pm, and everyone would show up at the dorm/library/meeting room. We wouldn’t have to wait for a commuter-student to come in via the train in 45+minutes.

DD claims that my experiences are antiquated:

  • they can now zoom
  • or in the rare once in a year situation, they just have to plan around the commuters’ schedule

She’s an extrovert so she will find her friends, even when the campus is half-empty over the weekends/long weekends.
Or she can train to Manhattan/stay with my SIL; daughter loves Manhattan.

I say that over time, she’d get used to the UMass campus and wouldn’t even think about it, because it’s the friends/fun events ON the campus that she’d think about.
BUT she could be dealing interacting with a significant number of commuters for the next 4 yrs, which may impact her schedule/project work, etc.

We attended a very wet/rainy SBU admitted student day last weekend (and didn’t see the inside of any building) and DH/DD still liked SBU.
Will be attending UMass admitted student day/overnight next weekend.

–

→ Please share your thoughts on how my views/experiences are antiquated, or any additional situations/problems with interacting with that great number of commuters.
→ Tips on how I can shake the ‘ugly image’ she has in her head?
We did a drive-through during covid for big brother and gosh, none of us liked the look of it. Once we did 2 tours, 3 of us were converted.

I say that saving $44K total (her new car when she graduates from college) is worth more than a slightly prettier campus.

Thank you.

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Honestly, one of the hardest things to remember is…your daughter is the one going to college. Barring financial issues, I think you should let her make the choice.

If it ends up being the right one…win win.

If you choose and she hates it, it’s always going to be your fault she went to that school.

Please…listen to her. She sounds like she will be fine at SB. She is outgoing and will find her tribe.

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Clarifying: us parents are not making the decision.
If we were, I wouldn’t be posting; my decision would already be made.

I just want her to see a side that she hasn’t thought of because she hasn’t experienced it. She’s only worked with her in-town classmates, never having to deal with commuters.

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Usually it seems to me that it’s the student who is worried about being on a commuter campus. If the student doesn’t seem to feel it’s an issue, maybe that particular thing isn’t an issue?

Sounds like she will get a good solid look at UMass next weekend. If she still doesn’t like it after that, maybe she just doesn’t like it?

Is the cost a barrier?

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Are you worried she won’t be able to complete things like group projects with commuters? My most recent grad is my daughter. I’m quite sure the only thing she ever did with another student was her research project and that happened on campus.

Even commuters can stay on campus to get things done. And your daughter is correct that the technology available for remote work is now amazing.

My same kid just did a presentation last night via zoom to about 20 people who live all over the place (post professional school program). No problem at all.

And for socials, they somehow manage to schedule things often enough.

One comment I will make is…UMass is a huge school. Your daughter doesn’t have to see high school classmates unless she chooses to do so. Maybe she will like her accepted student visit.

But really…worrying about group presentations, and work really isn’t a concern in this day and age. I love zoom and meets. You schedule a time and everyone just logs in. Very convenient.

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I don’t think group projects with commuting students would be an issue.

For me the bigger concern would be social life. Stony Brook is a fine college but it does have a reputation for not only having a big commuter population but also having a good number of residential students going home on weekends. IMO this is something to investigate further. Also SB is 90 minutes or so from Manhattan as I’m sure you know.

If possible, can you go to accepted students day at the two affordable options? And I agree with letting your D make the choice.

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Sounds like the student and family already attended Stony Brook admitted students day, and the student (at least) is going to UMass admitted student day/overnight next weekend.

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I don’t know anything about commuting students.

I do have a question about your assessment of the four-year cost of UMass Amherst. How did you get $41,000 per year average over four years? That seems really high for an in-state student. Are you including a lot of extra expenses above the billed expenses? Do you think her housing cost is going to be significantly higher in later years?

If she is set on not liking UMass Amherst, there probably isn’t much you can do, unfortunately, in my experience with my kids. However, you might be able to reassure her that, with over 6000 students per class, she is really unlikely to have a lot of interaction with kids from her high school unless she wants to. (I guess that could vary a bit by major. If she is in a small major, that other people from her school are also doing, she might be more likely to. But you can look at the number of people in each major by year to get an idea whether her major is big enough that she would not be constantly running into people from high school.)

For my kids, I would also help them understand what the difference in finances would be. Going to UMass Amherst would mean there’s more money for… clothes? Having a car? Fun outings/trips? Going to the more expensive school might mean needing to watch our finances more closely. (if that is true for your family. It would be for us!)

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Maybe the admitted students weekend this coming weekend will sway her- we will have good weather here for that (after possible snow there Wed/Th). I will say that I took my S24 to UMASS hoping he would apply to one in-state school and he refused to even get out of the car and described it almost exactly as your D24 did :scream: I do not disagree. Not the nicest campus, but a great school and think if she has a good visit this coming weekend maybe she will change her tune a bit.

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Projects shouldn’t be an issue. Scheduling time to do them should be easy. Not too many projects are spur of the moment decisions.

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I think the group project thing is very major dependent.

I was a Classics major and had zero group projects in four years. Exactly zero.

Grad school a different story (MBA) but virtually everyone lived off-campus, some commuting from pretty large differences and this was before zoom, email, cellphones, texts-- and we had absolutely no trouble getting large and small groups together when needed. Colleges have small conference rooms in libraries, student center, dorm common areas, etc. and they are in regular use both by the commuters and the dorm residents. So to me- this is a total non-issue.

What does your D plan to study (or what are her interests?)

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https://www.stonybrook.edu/commcms/irpe/fact_book/common_data_set/_files/CDS_2023_2024.pdf says that 75% of frosh and 52% of undergraduates live in campus housing. The frosh percentage is probably a better proxy for residential undergraduates, since upper class students at many colleges are likely to live nearby off campus.

However, SBU does have a “suitcase” reputation, where many residential students are said to head home to family on most weekends. If this is the case, then what you are concerned about may be more of a concern on weekends than weekdays.

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I have a DC considering a different school with a commuter reputation. Things that we are considering to try and help the commuter feel are 1) looking at LLCs or other dorming options that will hopefully provide more of a community and 2) looking at clubs and special interest groups on campus and trying to get an indication of how active they are.

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I agree, and also it matters which classes the projects are in. I only had 2 group projects in college. The one in a junior-level majors class was easy to schedule meetings for since we had similar schedules. The project in the required Tech Writing class was rough because we were in different majors with very different schedules. My engineer spouse had more group work, but it was in upper-level majors classes and they had similar schedules.

While I don’t love online meetings. it is a lot easier to do projects with scattered people than it once was. Document sharing and comment features that weren’t available 30 years ago are a huge help. If students meet for in-person planning, then smaller issues should be easy to resolve using whatever tech is appropriate.