<p>My friend and I are planning a vacation trip for some time I have off between college and grad school. However, there are some other applications I’d like to complete (for another shot at some prestigious fellowships) – and the deadlines are right in the middle of the trip. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to put enough effort into them and be able to finish them. I’ll have about 2 weeks after classes end to work on the applications before I have to go on the trip.</p>
<p>I feel terrible because we’ve started the process and I think she’s counting on me. </p>
<p>On the other hand, I don’t want to mess up my applications.</p>
<p>I keep putting myself in these situations. Any parental advice?</p>
<p>I think you have to decide your priorities.
Is your priority to go on a trip with your friend or to apply for fellowships?
Allot your time accordingly</p>
<p>If you and your friend began to make plans for a trip together & and at that time you did not say anything about other obligations I would be disappointed also.
Friendships take effort and to be brushed off for a chance to apply for a " prestigious fellowship", is a pretty blunt way to tell your friend that they are not as important to you , as you are to them.</p>
<p>But it is also an emphatic way to communicate the message that you aren’t interested in the friendship anymore.
Still, if there are reservations that can’t be canceled with a refund, or other plans that can’t be changed that your friend has made- I think you should offer to compensate for that.</p>
<p>I would expect that this good friend would understand that getting a fellowship would have a major impact on your future and be happy for you. It would be very selfish of her to expect you to go on this vacation knowing that you may be passing up a fabulous opportunity. Plan another vacation with her at different time. If she would end your friendship over a silly vacation, find another friend now.</p>
<p>Just get the applications done ahead of time and go on the trip. You will enjoy the vacation even more with the relief of getting the applications turned in. You shouldn’t wait until the very last minute to finish the applications anyway.</p>
<p>I agree w dsult- make the time, get organised and do both, just do the fellowships before you go…my D is taking the MCAT this week, so many of her friends have delayed their test date by a few weeks, to study more. Well, you can always take a few more practice tests, run the flashcard again, etc. DD set up a schedule to study and review and has followed it all summer, yes, she could do more, but I don’t know how productive it would be. Set up a fellowship prep schedule and stick to it and get them done.</p>
<p>If you procrastinate along the way and run out of time, like Ds friends have done, you just have to wait that much longer to be done with the whole process.</p>
<p>Just to explain my comments above a little more…</p>
<p>I’m afraid you will be facing these sorts of decisions throughout your career. I do freelance grant writing and my bosses and I frequently juggle deadlines with family visits or trips. We usually give priority to the trip or children visiting and then schedule the work in advance to still meet the deadline. The CEO of my husband’s company recently said he was going to have to miss an important company function because he had already promised to take his wife to Africa at the same time. I thought that was a wise decision since he is near retirement age and he will be spending a lot more time in the future with his wife than with his company.</p>
<p>How much fun will the vacation be if she’s thinking about not having devoted what she feels is “enough” time to make the application its best? Why are you guys laying such a guilt trip on her? SHE knows what she’s capable of accomplishing and how much time she needs – not you. </p>
<p>Vacations will come and go as will friends – you future should be your priority right now. I’m not saying to forget about a vacation altogether, I’m saying give yourself enough time to be satisfied with your applications…THEN take your vacation. Dsultemeier, the OP’s situation is nowhere comparable to you and your husband’s situation. Your example is meaningless to her at this stage of her life.</p>
<p>acinva - Thanks for the support. Everyone seems to have a different view of this. Not sure what to think. What’s your background on this? Do you have friends that think the way the others on this forum do? Did you decide to go on a trip and regret it? (Don’t mean to pry, just curious where you’re coming from and where the others are coming from.)</p>
<p>You don’t say how many applications you have, or what else you will be doing in this time after classes, but without knowing much else, 2 weeks seems like it would be enough time to spend on scholarship applications.
I assume there are essays to write, but if you have already applied to grad school, you aren’t really starting from scratch. I’d encourage you to get organized now, both for the trip and setting the time aside after classes to focus on those apps. </p>
<p>I think you are right to feel badly about letting your friend down, as I’m one who believes friends and how we treat them are as important as our own goals for ourselves. To not go on the trip because you only have 2 weeks to write some essays seems sort of flaky, not knowing of any other extenuating circumstances. It’s not like you would be giving up those scholarships- you can get them done. You just have to budget your time well.<br>
Also,the trip will be good for you. You’ll feel good about yourself by getting the apps in before you leave, and you’ll have a great time!</p>
<p>Why would it take more than 2 weeks to complete the applications? People have written novels in less time. Just giddy-up and get the apps done and then head on out.</p>