Yeah Pennsylvania unfortunately has a complicated expensive public system compared to other states, though some very good schools.
Have you done a FAFSA estimator? Is your predicted SAI in the low 40Ks? Our finances aren’t very complicated and the FAFSA estimator is quite accurate compared to actual FAFSA for us. The NPCs we ran mostly came in above our SAI, while our actual offers were mostly lower than the NPC (and thus closer to our SAI).
https://studentaid.gov/aid-estimator/
Some privates offer amazing need and/or merit aid. Yes, it can be hard to beat in-state publics for price but a lot of privates basically “buy” students they want by offering them a lot of aid. You just have to figure out which schools are going to offer your daughter generous aid packages. You might be surprised (for better or for worse). And yes, with the exceptions noted upthread (in-state publics and meets-need elite privates), it’s mostly whatever an individual school decides it wants to do.
A $5-$10K annual variation does add up, and only your family can decide how much that matters to you. Our child could have lived at home and attended one of our employers for free. We collectively decided that would be acceptable, but we all really wanted him to go away for school for many reasons. So he got excellent aid, earns wages that he contributes to expenses, and is taking out federal loans. We’ve decided that’s worth it since we know paying back the loans won’t be a problem at all for him (YMMV). He was having trouble deciding on a school and was going to literally choose the cheapest one (other than the home institution) without regard for anything else. We had to tell him to disregard any price differences in the $5-$10K range because he was unable to correctly prioritize price differences due to his youth. So trying to balance all the factors to make a decision can be tough!
You know your kid, and you’re doing the right things to try to figure out the budget ahead of time. Do the FAFSA estimator, do the NPCs, read the TE threads, ask the TE schools some questions, talk to your spouse and your daughter, cast a wide net, participate in these forums, make sure she’s happy with her financial/admit safeties, and you can’t go wrong! Although that list sounds intimidating, it’s very do-able and you’re in the right place.