<p>I’m starting to write my essay for UF. Its going to focus on my love of photography, I’ve taken photography for 3 years in high school of which 2 are aice courses and am applying to yearbook this year and NHS historian.</p>
<p>I would like to discuss in my essay some of the organizations within UF that I could be helpful to with my photography skills.</p>
<p>Any ideas would greatly be appreciated.</p>
<p>You might want to google essay topics for UF.</p>
<p>I’m going to make a suggestion, and by no means am I an expert, however I’ve found that when I’ve helped a couple of my daughter’s friends with their admissions essays or scholarship essays that they tend to think “too big.” For example, my d’s best friend was applying for a scholarship at the university she was going to, and the topic was something you would like to change (and this essay had to give them a look at “who you were”). Probably more to it than that … but that’s what I remember. Anyway, she was all hung up on coming up with a serious topic, i.e. what world ill or high school thing might she change. But she also didn’t have a particular “passionate” idea. She’s got a quirky sense of humor and I suggested she discuss something I’ve heard her complain about for years: her hair. She essentially wrote a tongue-in-cheek diatribe about what it’s like to live in the state of florida with naturally curly hair … etc, etc, etc. This told so much about her, about her sarcastic nature, about her humor, about her quirkiness … that when she met the people who gave her the scholarship, they were like, “wow, you are just like your essay.” </p>
<p>With regards to you and your photography, in stead of coming up with a list of clubs you might benefit … why don’t you take a moment in time when you truly felt “one w/ your camera,” for lack of a better phrase. Describe that moment, how did you frame your shot, why did you choose that shot, what did it mean to you, what did you leave out of the shot, etc. etc. Give them a look at you through your passion. And, yes, it doesn’t hurt to show how you’d like to allow that passion to flourish at UF and how you might see it growing there … but be careful of just dropping club names. </p>
<p>Not sure I’m making any sense or not … but again, don’t feel as though you have to go “all big.” Sometimes those small vignettes, those glimpses in time, show the “real you.”</p>
<p>zebes</p>
<p>After experiencing the catastrophic floods in 2000, nothing could have impacted my life as greatly; so I thought. The day that changed my perspective on life was somewhat an unexpected however casual weekend outing with the family to Xai-Xai beach just a few hours away from the capital city (Maputo).
Normally we would arrive at the beach house on a Friday night, after mum left, and we would leave back to the city on Sunday afternoon. This weekend was no different; on Sunday afternoon as we got ready to leave; my mom had forgotten something inside the house, so I stayed behind in the car with my sister. While waiting for my mom, I was listening to music on my phone which I recall was a song by Bow Wow (Fresh Azimiz) and my sister was tuning into the radio. Suddenly, the car started to move on its own. At first I thought I was dreaming until I saw every other house moving as well; the brakes seemed to have moved. To add to the drama, the car was parked facing a downward slope; impulsively I jumped out of the car as if I was reenacting a James bond movie. As brave and action-packed as I was feeling, I realized one thing: my sister was still in the car, the gravity of the situation at that point hit an all time high. I looked like a mad African woman as I chased the car downhill while hitting against it, as if it would stop as I begged it to. I was in complete and utter disbelief at the situation as I watched my sister cry desperately for help. I shouted at the top of my voice for help as I chased the car alone, the housekeeper and my mother heard my cry for help and rushed to see what was happening. At that moment, I had never been happier to witness a car accident, the car only stopped because it had hit a tree. If the car had kept going, the results could have been catastrophic.
As a result of this experience I had a different outlook on life, responsibility and family values. Although today I can look back and laugh at the situation, it taught me to value life and appreciates those around me. I chose to live life to the fullest and take risks. In addition, appreciating those around you is vital, in a university, community is an essential component of the institution and I am very fond of the close community that the University of Florida has, as shown through its loyalty in sports. In addition, in a community, responsibility and safety is essential because order must be kept in a community so that things do not get out of hand. As a result, I feel as though I would be less prone to falling into the common teenage traps, thus avoiding the disappointed looks from my parents and who knows I might be able to help someone else on campus. </p>
<p>please can someone give me feedback on this, also one of the university of florida application letters.</p>
<p>@Dollyp89: I’ve put what I changed in quotes, and I’ve added notes in parenthesis. Did you already submit the essay?</p>
<p>After experiencing a series of catastrophic floods in 2000 (where is your location at this time?), I thought nothing could have impacted my life as greatly. The day that changed my perspective on life was during an unexpected casual weekend. I was on an outing with the family to Xai-Xai beach just a few hours away from the capital city of Mozambique.
Normally , we would arrive at the beach house on a Friday night no comma after my mum left, and we would leave for the city on Sunday afternoon. This weekend was no different. On Sunday afternoon as we got ready to leave, my mom had forgotten something inside the house, so I stayed behind in the car with my sister. ((While we were waiting for my mom, I was listening to music on my phone which I recall was a song by Bow Wow (Fresh Azimiz) and my sister was tuning into the radio. (I would consider taking this whole sentence out. Its remarkable that you can remember this, but it in no way contributes to the point youre trying to make.)) Suddenly, the car started to move without my sister or I touching it. At first, I thought I was dreaming until I saw every other house moving as well; the brakes seemed to have been shifted. To worsen the situation, the car was parked facing a downward slope. Impulsively, I jumped out of the car in fear of my disastrous consequences. With adrenaline pumping throughout my body, I realized (I removed your phrase) that my sister was still in the car. At this point, the gravity of the situation had reached its peak. I looked like a frantic African woman chasing rebels who have stolen her child as I chased the car downhill while hitting against it, as if my efforts would make the car cease rolling. I was in complete and utter disbelief at the situation as I watched my sister cry desperately for help. I shouted at the top of my lungs for help as I raced after (you used chase in the previous sentence) the car alone. The housekeeper and my mother heard my cry for help and rushed to my aid. At that moment, I had never been more elated to witness a car accident; the car only stopped because it had hit a tree. If the car had kept going, the aftermath (because you use the word result in the next sentence) could have been catastrophic.
As a result of this experience I have a different outlook on life, responsibility , and family values. Although today I can look back and laugh at the situation, it taught me to value life and to appreciate those around me. I chose to live my life to the fullest potential by seeking out every available opportunity. (THIS previous sentence is enough to get you into UF. They love opportunity seekers and leaders). In addition, appreciating those around you is vital no comma in a university because the community is an essential component of the institution, and I am very fond of the close community that the University of Florida has. This is evident through its loyalty to the Gator Nation. Removed phrased The responsibility Ive acquired through this experience is revealed through my admiration of safety and order. These tenets of my beliefs are indispensible in a university setting to ensure the progression of academic quality. As a result, Removed phrase I would be less prone to conforming to the prosaic teenage traps, thus maximizing my potential to succeed at the University of Florida. </p>
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<p>Read through it, let me know what you think. I think I fixed it.</p>
<p>Definitely looks a lot better than my own essay. Its really catching throughout will a clear message “let me in.” Looks good to me.</p>
<p>Sent from my SPH-L710 using CC</p>