I hope the friend isn’t busy sticking his nose in somebody else’s business.
Hmm… dunno. This thread seems to be pretty handy.
Wonder if OP will come back. She may want to pass on a handful of ideas to her friend.
I think everyone is being too “hard on” the roommate.
Now we are pumping this thread with repetitive jabs.
I wonder what the roommate’s first name is: Peter? Richard? William? Johnson? Spurgeon?
Nickname? Shorty or Stubby?
Or any two-name combination of the above.
Spanky!
I dunno, but if he does it in a more public place, Lefty will find himself in a penile institution.
^ That’s because when you use that “t-word” word it tends to turn into a sword fight, whereas we all just formed a circle around the issue.
Is that a banana slicer in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
After reading about people packing pipe bombs and semi-automatic guns all week I think everyone just needs to let off a little steam. If only we could go back to those innocent days of Rudolph and the land of misfit toys where the gun just shoots jelly. It’s a longing for simpler times.
Maybe PETA should be alerted: excessive monkey spanking and chicken choking happening on college campuses.
Shouldn’t there be an Onion article about this very real issue?
Yes, you sent that a little prematurely @hennyyoungman
Perhaps the roommate (thenceforward to be known as Spanky Johnson) came upon one of these fake letters notifying dorm residents to unload in their rooms rather than in communal showers where it clogs up the plumbing:
Found it!
[Quote=The Onion]
Freshman Asks New Roommate Not To Hide Masturbation From Him
NEWS IN BRIEF August 19, 2011
VOL 47 ISSUE 33 · Local · Back To School
BLOOMINGTON, IN—As Indiana University students began moving into their assigned residence halls Wednesday, freshman Martin Mattucci told his new roommate Corey Dwire not to worry about hiding his acts of masturbation. “I just want you to know, right off the bat, that I’m cool with you jerking off when I’m around,” said Mattucci, who added that any other arrangement would be impractical considering the two would be sharing a 10-by-10-foot room for the next nine months. “If I walk in while you’re rubbing one out, just keep right on going. The way I see it, it would be more awkward if you stopped. By the way, my name’s Martin.” Mattucci added that he always keeps plenty of paper towels and moisturizer around for just such occasions, so Dwire should feel free to let him know if he’s running low or needs extra.
Aw, nuts, we’re trying too hard
I think everyone is having too much fun to close this. No sense practicing threadus interruptus when it isn’t required.
@fallenchemist you have a good head on your shoulders!
No one likes a thread blocker!
:)) Best. Thread. Ever. I salute you!