I think part of the problem is that we (as parents) spend more time and critical thought on what might or might not happen, than the AOs ever do in their brief review of the applications. The AOs mean well, but they are often recent college graduates themselves and they have a huge pile of work to get through. The process just cannot be 100% “accurate” or “fair” even with qualified employees.
Also, GPA can’t tell the whole story, and is often used as an important marker. My oldest son had a lower GPA than one other student in his class (2016). Why? Because the other student opted to have a free period while my son took a third language. First-year language courses were not Honors/AP-designated, so even though DS got an A+ and the course award for the year, it lowered his GPA due to not having “weighting”.
Nonetheless, DS16 got into lots of good places and attended P. His friend also did well (attended U Cal Berk).
Come on, you don’t think it might be possible that it is the parents who spend so much time dwelling on their kids application that might be the ones who struggle to be ‘fair’ and objective in their evaluation?
Do you really think an AO won’t notice the number of classes taken and the subjects? You really think the difference between getting accepted or not is the small ‘hit’ to your GPA for getting an A+ in an additional non-honors class?
I agree that part of the problem here is the amount of time well-meaning parents spend giving ‘critical thought’ to their kids applications and outcomes - but I think a lack of perspective may be preventing some from really grasping what problem that causes… (and it has nothing to do with AOs).
First, I’m sorry. This whole process is hard on everyone-- it’s broken. It is also a completely irrational process and impossible to predict where a particular student will get in and where they will not. There are kids who get into Wellesley but waitlisted at UConn. I know; I have one. So, yes, it’s hard but there is a freedom in that too. You have absolutely no control over any of it at this point and neither does your son.
This whole application process is similar to going to a restaurant and ordering something and them saying, “sorry, we’re out of that.” They’re not saying “you are not worthy of that.” They simply can’t offer you what you want. So, you make a different decision. You have the burger instead of the steak. And you know what? It’s ok.
My best advice is to make sure he knows he is of value, without regard to which colleges say yes and which say no. It sounds like he is handling it well-- and you can silently hate that school for all eternity for saying ‘no’ to your kid (as I irrationally hate UVA for saying ‘no’ to mine.) Just don’t let that affect how your kid feels about himself or let it breed bitterness with regard to another kid who did get offered a spot. That’s just not healthy for either of you in the long run. Best wishes.
I love this perspective! I irrationally a hate a college which my kid didn’t even apply to, because we got a parking ticket when the promised two hour “presentation plus tour” started late, it was raining, I couldn’t make it back to the car in time to feed the meter, blah blah blah.
This is really great. I need to remember this for when my D applies. I irrationally dislike Georgia Tech too even though my kid didn’t even want to go there. He humored me with an application but of course how dare they reject my child?!
Actually it seems like you’re arguing for the AO’s here. Your son was not penalized for having a lower GPA by taking an extra class even if it was detrimental to his GPA. One could even argue that your student benefited by taking the harder course load rather than trying to game college admissions by doing fewer classes and receiving a higher GPA.
The poster’s view is that the school picked the other student solely because the other student’s GPA was higher while your story demonstrates that at least in your son’s case the schools your son was accepted into looked beyond his GPA vs. the other student’s since they would have taken the student with the higher GPA in lieu of your son if that was the only consideration they had.
I get that the process can be frustrating and emotionally challenging for those applying - but why do you think it is irrational or broken? It really isn’t, it is as rational a process as you will find for a very complex, inherently subjective, selection process.
I don’t think the process is broken but it is opaque to outsiders (applicants/parents). Once an academic threshold is passed, they are looking at other things and there is no way to know what those things might be - plus institutional priorities can change from cycle to cycle. All a student can do is put their best foot forward and realize if it doesn’t work out that it isn’t because they were lacking in some way. Although it feels personal, it isn’t.
Yes, it can definitely be opaque (though there is a decent amount of content from actual insiders at this point to cut through that opacity).
But you are right, at the end of the day there are more qualified applicants than spots - not everyone who could have an argument for getting in will and you can’t take the rejection personally. It’s good practice for future job applicants (if you think a lot of qualified people are rejected from Harvard every year wait to till you see the folks not hired for any given open CEO position).
My kids were at highly selective universities and I didn’t think holistic admissions were ridiculous- and still don’t.
You want a “rack and stack” admissions system- your kid can apply overseas where scores are everything. Or opt out of holistic in the US and apply to one of the many colleges which post their rubric on their website-- GPA of X, scores of Y, you’re in.
What is your beef exactly- that a kid with lower scores is going to “take” your kids spot?
Or a more typical job, where it is common to have hundreds of applicants per job, and for job applicants to make hundreds of applications before getting a job.
