<p>Limabeans, the therapist that works with me and Fang Jr has been of immense help in getting the whole family to understand how to work toward Fang Jr’s independence. In particular, because she works with other Aspies, she knows exactly how big the steps should be, what we should expect of Fang Jr and what he should expect of himself, and how we can deal with setbacks. </p>
<p>What benefit is your son getting from his therapist right now? If at all possible, I urge you to find someone who can work with the whole family, to set up and monitor a realistic plan for BeanSon to become independent. </p>
<p>I also urge you to realize that the process of becoming independent will be neither simple nor smooth… but eventually, when the time is right, he can transition to independence, whether in three weeks, months or three years.</p>
<p>From what you are saying here, it sounds like you don’t believe he could be cold turkey independent right now. And from what you’re saying, you’re right, he couldn’t be independent at this second.</p>
<p>Cardinal, I think the next big step towards independence would be to find a “real” full time job. He’s just not busy enough now. Where he currently works is also too small that he’s probably too focused on doing the work and not on other aspects of having a job, like doing any social talk.</p>
<p>I figure, once he gets a job, then he’ll take a while to settle in. Hopefully, he’ll make enough $$$ to think about buying what he needs, be it clothes or haircut. Right now, his pay is so low that it’s not allowing him to be comfortable to buy anything.</p>
<p>HImom: while in college, he lived in a single with a bathroom down the hall. He always went to class, and always did any homework. Where he had trouble was with procedure, like dropping or adding a class, but he got used to that over time. Other than that, the only expectations were from his professors and most of them were quite fond of him because he cared so much.</p>
<p>I don’t have any advice except to say I am in the EXACT same position. I am female, but the post could have been written about me. Maybe this will make you feel less alone?</p>
<p>You might start with [Friendship</a> Circle of Michigan-Providing support and programs for children and young adults with special needs in Metro Detroit](<a href=“http://www.friendshipcircle.org%5DFriendship”>http://www.friendshipcircle.org) to see if there is any information or any discussion boards that might be helpful for you. I realize that the situation might not seem quite as “special needs” as some of the people pictured on the website, but I know that my local chapter is very active & very helpful in at least referring people to available assistance.</p>